*The camera pans in to the PFFA Arena, in which a WWF wrestling ring has been set up. There are tens of thousands of screaming fans in the stands, many of them holding up signs. The RAW theme song, "Move To The Music", plays in the background. Inside the ring, nine of Shane Falco's roomies are standing, with angry looks on their faces.*
Jim Ross: We're here live, at the PFFA Arena, for the first episode of PFFA RAW!
Jerry Lawler: Hoo boy, JR, this is going to be a great episode, and a great tournament!
Jim Ross: We've got an awesome main event for you tonight. It's one of Marvel's greatest superheroes, Iron Man, going up against the talented Slayers swordsman, Zelgadis Greywords!
Jerry Lawler: But right now, there appears to be an angry mob of roomies in the ring!
Jim Ross: I wonder what they want?
Jecht: *holding a microphone* I can't believe this crap! There are nine roomies here, but only three spots! It's not fair!
Spiderman: *takes the mic* We're not leaving this ring until we get fair treatment!
Jecht: That's right!
*"Enter Sandman" plays as the commisioner of the tournament, Ry Senkari, walks out to the ring to a huge pop from the crowd.*
Jim Ross: Oh my God! It's the commisioner!
Ry: *steps into the ring and grabs the mic* What seems to be the problem?
Jecht: You should know! There are nine roomies here, and only three spots left!
Ry: Well, I know how to settle that!
Jecht: How?
Ry: By having a Battle Royal!
*The audience cheers.*
Jecht: What's that?
Ry: You nine roomies will toss each other over the top rope until there's only three left! If both of your feet touch outside the ring, you're out! The three roomies left standing are in the tournament!
*Ry leaves the ring. Right before he gets out of the arena, he turns around.*
Ry: Let the Battle Royal... begin!
Jim Ross: And here we go!
Jecht: Alright! *takes out his sword* Who wants some?
Prodigy: *fires missiles all over the ring*
Spiderman: *grabs one of the missiles with his web, then swings it around*
Green Goblin: *leaps over the missile*
Jecht: Oh crap! *gets hit by the missile and knocked to the ground*
Jim Ross: And Jecht is down!
Kain: *picks up Jecht and drags him to the ropes, then starts to throw him over*
Jecht: *reverses the throw, tossing Kain out through the middle rope*
Jim Ross: That was only the middle rope! Kain's still in this thing!
Daredevil: *grabs Hornet with his whip*
Hornet: *fires a laser through the whip, cutting it in two*
Daredevil: Crap!
Jecht: *runs at Daredevil and kicks him over the top rope*
Jim Ross: And Daredevil's out!
Kain: *hops back into the ring* Cecil, let's team up!
Cecil: *nods his head* Alright.
Spiderman: *kicks Cecil in the face*
Cecil: *takes out his sword and slashes at Spiderman's neck*
Spiderman: *dodges the slash*
Jecht: *grabs Spiderman*
Jim Ross: And Jecht's going after the Amazing Spiderman!
Jerry Lawler: I wouldn't do that if I was him!
Spiderman: *grabs Jecht and tosses him over the top rope*
Jecht: *clings to the ropes, his feet not touching the ground*
Jim Ross: Jecht's feet aren't on the ground! He's still in!
Jecht: *grabs Prodigy from outside the ring and tosses him over*
Jim Ross: And Prodigy's out!
Jecht: *hops back in the ring*
Green Goblin: *trips up the Scarlet Spider*
Scarlet Spider: *punches the Green Goblin*
Jim Ross: We haven't seen the Scarlet Spider do that much in this match!
Scarlet Spider: *bounces off the turnbuckle and hits Green Goblin in the back, knocking him down*
Spiderman: *picks up Green Goblin and tosses him out*
Jim Ross: And that's it for the Green Goblin!
Jerry Lawler: Jecht, Spiderman, Cecil, Kain, Scarlet Spider, and Hornet are still in this!
Hornet: *starts firing missiles at Cecil*
Kain: *jumps on top of Hornet's back*
Cecil: *blocks the missiles with his shield* You'll have to do better than that!
Jecht: *gets behind Cecil and tosses him out of the ring*
Jim Ross: And Cecil's out!
Kain: Darn it! *kicks Hornet over the top rope in frustration*
Jerry Lawler: And there goes Hornet!
Spiderman: We've gotta team up!
Scarlet Spider: Alright!
Jecht: *runs at Spiderman*
Spiderman: *grabs Jecht with his web* No way, pal! *hands Jecht to Scarlet Spider*
Scarlet Spider: *gets ready to toss Jecht over*
Jim Ross: Look!
Kain: *tosses Scarlet Spider over the top rope*
Jecht: *breaks free of the webbing and hangs onto the ropes as Scarlet Spider hits the ground*
*bell rings*
Jim Ross: That's it! The winners of the Battle Royal are Jecht, Kain, and Spiderman!
Scarlet Spider: Crap. The RPG characters ganged up on me!
Kain: Sorry.
Jim Ross: Well, the first match of the tournament is up next!
*Meanwhile, in a backstage hallway, a certain old man is being interviewed by the Coach.*
Coach: So, Uncle... do you think you're going to be the first roomie to repeat?
Uncle: Yes! I shall win this tournament! One more thing! If you are listening, Vegeta, heed my words! Uncle will get you! One more thing! Jackie! Jade! You'd better clean the shop while I'm gone! One more thing! I guarantee I will win this tournament!
Coach: Uh, yeah. Well, it was nice to talk to you...
Uncle: You should eat your vegetables, Coach! One more thing! Don't do drugs!
*Back in the ring...*
Jim Ross: Well, the first match of the tournament is about to start.
Jerry Lawler: Jet Black may be the toughest guy in outer space, but I've got my money on Taka Pikanochu! EVIL!
Jim Ross: Here they come!
*"Taka Mikanochu's Theme" hits as Taka Pikanochu runs out to the ring and strikes Pikachu poses.*
Taka Pikanochu: Pika! EVIL!!!
Jerry Lawler: Yeah! EVIL!
*Right after Taka finishes his poses, a beautiful music box song, "Julia", begins to play as Jet Black heads down to the ring. He gets into the ring, and the bell sounds, signaling the start of the match.*
Jet: *takes out his gun* Okay, you rat. I'm going to take care of you like I take care of all the other rats that I see. I'm gonna shoot you! *starts shooting at Taka*
Taka Pikanochu: *deftly dodges the bullets* C'mon, can't you do better than that? *shoots a Thunder Wave at Jet*
*Jet's body begins to freeze up as the powerful shocks impact his body.*
Jet: Hey! I can't move!
Jerry Lawler: See that, JR? EVIL!
Taka Pikanochu: Pika!
*Taka delivers a powerful combination Huricarana/Thundershock, the Pikacarana. Jet's body bounces against the canvas, then comes to a rest.*
Jet: I still can't move!
Taka Pikanochu: *jumps on Jet's chest*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jet: *somehow manages to kick out*
Jim Ross: And Jet kicks out of the Pikacarana!
*Jet slowly rises to his feet, only to be knocked down by a Thundershock.*
Jim Ross: Taka Pikanochu is relentlessly shocking Jet here!
Taka Pikanochu: *jumps on Jet again*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jet: *kicks out again*
Jim Ross: And Taka Pikanochu is dominating this match!
Jet: *stands up and slowly steps back* Okay, you asked for it! *punches Taka right in the face*
*The punch sends Taka flying into the ropes. He bounces off, and headbutts Jet in the stomach. Jet doubles over and falls to the canvas. Taka strikes a pose.*
Jim Ross: Oh my God, here it is!
Jerry Lawler: The Pikanochu Driver!
*Taka piledrives Jet into the canvas. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning strikes Jet, and his body goes limp. Taka jumps on him again.*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
*bell sounds, Taka's theme plays in the background*
Jim Ross: Taka Pikanochu wins!
Taka Pikanochu: Alright! *jumps for joy, then walks out of the ring*
Jim Ross: What a match that was!
Jerry Lawler: EVIL!
Taka Pikanochu: EVIL! *leaves the arena*
Jim Ross: We've got another slobberknocker coming up! It's Gaeas Silvermoon vs. Lei Kaiwen!
Jerry Lawler: This oughta be good!
*Gaeas' theme... uh, Gaeas walks into the ring to complete silence, except for a huge pop from the crowd.*
Gaeas: Where's my opponent?
*Lei Kaiwen's theme, the "Pika Rap" hits as Lei walks to the ring.*
Lei: Hello. Shall we begin? *pulls out his lightsaber and his Xiaoshan Blade*
Gaeas: *takes out his two blades*
*The crowd oohs and aahs at the two warriors with two blades.*
Jerry Lawler: Wow, they both have two swords! This is going to be an awesome match!
*The two warriors stare each other down, then begin swinging the blades at each other.*
Gaeas: *runs in for two quick slashes*
Lei: *parries with the Xiaoshan Blade, then kicks at Gaeas*
Gaeas: *leaps back* Not too bad. You're fast.
Lei: So are you. But can you handle this?
*Lei fires a stream of Force Lightning from his right hand. Gaeas casually puts up a barrier to block it.*
Gaeas: Interesting. I've never fought a warrior with Force powers before.
*The two begin fighting with their blades again. After a while, they put their blades away for a more physical fight.*
Lei: *knocks Gaeas down with a Force Push, then pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Gaeas: *kicks out, then kicks Lei into the ropes*
Lei: *stands up and dusts himself off, then uses his Force Heal to heal the damage caused by the kick*
Gaeas: *starts firing off energy waves at Lei*
Lei: *Force Jumps out of the way, then puts his hand on Gaeas' forehead* Buddha's palm!
*Gaeas' body quivers in pain. However, Gaeas sees a moment to strike, and does so, taking out his blade to slice off Lei's hand.*
Lei: Darn it! *steps back, clutching his hand*
Gaeas: Now to finish you! *begins staggering* Darn it, what did you do?
Lei: Buddha's Palm. It sends a brutal poison through your body. *continues to clutch his hand* Darn, you got my hand.
Gaeas: *continues staggering*
Jim Ross: Both of these warriors are hurting right now! Gaeas is staggering around like a government mule!
Jerry Lawler: Government mule?
Gaeas: Darn you! *fires energy waves at Lei*
Lei: *smacks the waves away with his lightsabre, however, one gets through, hitting Lei in the neck* Aaah! *leans against the ropes*
Gaeas: Looks like I chopped off your good lightsaber hand. *walks over to Lei, then drags him into the center of the ring, pinning him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Lei: *kicks out, then rolls over, clutching his hand*
Gaeas: *lies down in the ring* Stupid poison...
Lei: *rolls onto Gaeas*
Ref: 1! 2!
*With much effort, Gaeas kicks out.*
Jim Ross: These two are kicking the crap out of each other, with no end in sight!
Jerry Lawler: Wait, who's that?
Zebek: *runs into the ring carrying a folding chair* Hey Gaeas!
Gaeas: *raises his head* Zebek?
Zebek: *knocks Gaeas out with the folding chair, then runs out of the ring*
Jim Ross: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Lei: *crawls on top of Gaeas*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jerry Lawler: Wow! Zebek just helped Lei win this match!
Jim Ross: What was he thinking?
Jerry Lawler: He wanted Lei to win the match! Or maybe just wanted Gaeas to lose...
Jim Ross: We're going to a commercial break, but when we return, we'll have the first Hardcore title match, along with two more tournament matches!
*commercial break*
Jim Ross: And we're back to PFFA RAW, where the Hardcore title is about to be decided between two unlikely competitors!
Jerry Lawler: Vegeta's pretty hardcore, but... Bill?
Jim Ross: Bill challenged Vegeta to the Hardcore match after this altercation in the parking lot earlier today.
*The camera pans outside to the parking lot, during the daytime. The words "EARLIER TODAY" are in the upper left corner. Vegeta and Aya are standing outside.*
Aya: Vegeta, why do you have to be so mean to everyone?
Vegeta: Shut up! *grabs Aya and slams her into the car, knocking her out*
Bill: *floats up to Vegeta* HEY!
Vegeta: What do you want?
Bill: You're mean to Aya! I'm gonna beat you up!
Vegeta: *starts to walk away*
Bill: I challenge you to a Hardcore match for the Hardcore title!
Vegeta: Whatever. *walks away*
*Back in the ring...*
Jim Ross: And that's how it happened.
Jerry Lawler: Well, I don't blame Bill! Nobody should treat Aya like that! She's got puppies, JR!
Jim Ross: Puh-lease.
*"Vegeta's Theme" hits as Vegeta steps into the ring.*
Vegeta: Alright, let's get this over with.
*"I'm Just A Bill" hits. Bill floats up to Vegeta and begins papercutting him immediately. Vegeta grabs Bill and holds him down.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Myuu: *floats into the ring, distracting the ref* Hey Veggie-boy!
Vegeta: What do you want, you stupid cat?
Myuu: Oh, nothing, except to embarrass you in front of everyone. *uses Disable*
Vegeta: Hey! I can't move! *falls down* Hey!
Bill: Alright! *floats on top of Vegeta*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Vegeta: NO!
Jim Ross: What a huge upset! Bill has beaten Vegeta to win the Hardcore title!
Myuu: Now... *grabs Bill and holds him down*
Bill: Hey! What gives?
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jim Ross: And thanks to the 24-7 rule, Myuu is now the Hardcore champion!
Myuu: Thank you, thank you! *floats away with the title belt*
Vegeta: *Disable wears off* Come back here, you stupid cat! *flies after Myuu*
Jim Ross: Well, now that that's over, let's see a real match!
Jerry Lawler: It's a Spike/Vicious style gun/cutting implement battle! Dagger vs. Norris! This oughta be good!
*Norris walks out.... to silence. He gets a pop from the crowd, but it's not as big as Gaeas' pop.*
Norris: *takes out his gun* Let's go.
*The Buffy theme hits as Dagger walks out to the ring to a much bigger pop than Norris.*
Jerry Lawler: Woohoo! Puppies!
Dagger: Oh man, there's a lot of people out here...
Jerry Lawler: If you're scared, you can sit on my lap!
Dagger: Pervert! I'll kill you! *starts walking toward King*
Norris: *shoots at Dagger*
Dagger: Aaah! *falls to the ground and covers her head*
Jerry Lawler: Hey, she was coming over here!
Dagger: You're mean! *spreads her arms, firing light daggers at Norris*
*The daggers brush past Norris, cutting his flesh.*
Norris: Ouch! That hurt! Sunshot! *starts firing into the air*
*Bullets of light fall from the sky and crash into Dagger and the announce table.*
Jim Ross: Hey! Hey! Keep it in the ring!
Dagger: *falls down*
Norris: *pulls Dagger into the ring and pins her*
Ref: 1! 2!
Dagger: *kicks out* You've gotta do better than that!
Jim Ross: Norris was so close!
Norris: Darn it!
Dagger: *kicks Norris in the crotch*
Norris: Aaah! *falls to his knees*
Ref: Hey! That's against the rules!
Dagger: Oh, please don't disqualify me!
Ref: Well, since you didn't know...
Norris: *legsweeps Dagger, knocking her to the ground*
Dagger: Ooof!
Norris: *pins Dagger*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Dagger: Darn it! *pounds the canvas*
Jim Ross: Norris wins!
Jerry Lawler: No fair! The ref distracted her! I demand a recount!
Jim Ross: You're a pervert, King.
*Meanwhile, backstage...*
Myuu: *floats around* Whew, no one here...*
Mew: *floats up to Myuu and winks at him*
Myuu: Oh, hi, Mew! What are you doing here?
Mew: *growls*
Myuu: Oh wait, you've still got Silence on you. Well, you shouldn't talk so much, silly!
Sephiroth: *walks up to Mew and Myuu*
Audience: *cheers madly*
Sephiroth: Hey guys, what's up?
Myuu: Aaah! What do you want?
Sephiroth: What, you think I want your Hardcore title?
Myuu: Everyone wants my Hardcore title!
Sephiroth: That may be true, but-
Vegeta: STUPID CAT! *fires a ki blast at Sephiroth and the Mews*
Myuu: Whoa! Let's get out of here!
*Myuu, Mew, and Sephiroth flee around a corner as Vegeta chases them. Back in the ring...*
Jim Ross: There's a lot going on backstage, but now it's time for what you've all been waiting for! The main event! Iron Man vs. Zelgadis Greywords!
*The Marvel Action Hour theme plays as Iron Man makes his way to the ring to a humongous pop. He gets into the ring and starts posing in his power armor.*
Jim Ross: It's the great Marvel superhero, Iron Man!
Jerry Lawler: Look!
*Midorikawa Hikaru's voice echoes in the arena as Zelgadis enters the ring to "We Are". He observes the posing Iron Man.*
Zelgadis: What is he doing?
Iron Man: I'm giving the crowd what they want.
Zelgadis: From the size of the cheer they gave when I came out, it sounds like they want me.
Iron Man: *laughs* Maybe they do, maybe they don't!
Zelgadis: *shakes Iron Man's hand* Let's go. *takes out his sword*
Iron Man: Hold it! *jumps out of the ring*
Jerry Lawler: What's he doing?
Iron Man: *pulls a broken-down car out from under the ring*
Jerry Lawler: Hey, this isn't a Hardcore match! He can't get stuff from under there!
Iron Man: *bashes Zelgadis over the head with the car*
Zelgadis: *staggers around* Ow...
Iron Man: How did he survive that?
Zelgadis: My head's made of stone!
Iron Man: Oh.
Zelgadis: Hiya! *slashes at Iron Man with his sword, not cutting through anything since Iron Man is wearing power armor* Darn it! I'll have to use magic...
Iron Man: Take this!
*Iron Man holds out his hand and fires off several laser blasts at Zelgadis.*
Zelgadis: You who goes through both air and earth,
Gentle flow, Floating water
Gather to my hands and be my power!
*Zelgadis extends his palm and encases the laser blasts, along with Iron Man, in a dense fog. Iron Man begins freezing up.*
Jerry Lawler: Behold the power of magic, JR!
Iron Man: What's this? I can't move!
Zelgadis: You're trapped in ice! I suggest you submit!
Iron Man: Grrr... *begins glowing* I won't give up!
Zelgadis: Referee, he's incapacitated. Start the 10-count.
Ref: *nods* 1! 2! 3! 4!
Iron Man: Grrr....
Ref: 5! 6! 7!
Jerry Lawler: What a way to lose! Encased in ice!
Ref: 8! 9!
Iron Man: ARGH!!!
*A huge laser blast from Iron Man's chest penetrates the ice and slams right into Zelgadis, knocking him to the canvas. The ice shatters and the fog dissipates.*
Jim Ross: Whoa! Zelgadis is out cold!
Jerry Lawler: *laughs* Out cold! That's good, JR!
Iron Man: *pins Zelgadis*
Ref: 1! 2!
Zelgadis: *kicks out*
Crowd: *cheers*
Jim Ross: Zelgadis kicked out!
Iron Man: *pins Zelgadis again*
Ref: 1! 2!
Zelgadis: *kicks out again*
Jim Ross: He'll have to try something else!
Iron Man: *picks Zelgadis up and punches him*
Zelgadis: *sways* Unnh...
Iron Man: *places Zelgadis on the turnbuckle and starts punching him*
Crowd: What? What? What? What?
Iron Man: *swings Zelgadis into the turnbuckle*
Zelgadis: *bounces off the turnbuckle and ducks under Iron Man's punch*
Iron Man: Huh?
Zelgadis: (Now's my chance...) *begins incanting* You, who floats in eternity and infinity; Origin of all hearts
Everlasting flame of blue; The power sleeping in my soul;
Come, you all, from infinity, and make your judgement now! RA-TILT!
Iron Man: What the-
*Iron Man is cut off by a blue flame that engulfs his body.*
Iron Man: *screams in pain* AAAAAAAH!
*Iron Man continues screaming, until finally, the spell ends and his smoking body falls to the ground. He is out cold.*
Zelgadis: *pins Iron Man*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
*bell rings*
Jim Ross: And Zelgadis wins! What a huge victory for the mighty magician!
Zelgadis: *slowly staggers out of the ring, tired from the battle*
*Meanwhile, in the parking lot...*
Myuu: *hops into a limo with Mew* Hit it!
Driver: *drives away from the building*
Vegeta: *chases the limo, shaking his fist* Come back here, darn it! *keeps chasing the limo*
*PFFA RAW logo appears. Fade to black.*
=======================================
*The camera pans in to the PFFA Arena, where a WWF wrestling ring is set up. Cheering fans surround the ring. The Smackdown theme song, "The Beautiful People", plays in the background.*
Michael Cole: And we're here live at the PFFA Arena for part two of the PFFA Roomie Tournament! It's PFFA Smackdown!
Tazz: There's 4 great matches lined up for tonight, including the main event! Killerprimeape is gonna go mano-a-mano with Xelloss, of Slayers fame! And it's going to be a No Disqualification match!
Michael Cole: Our first match is, get this: Cait Sith vs. Spiderman!
Tazz: A couple of pop culture icons there, Cole!
*"Cait Sith's Theme" hits as Cait Sith makes his way down to the ring. He high-fives the fans as he goes down the ramp.*
Cait Sith: *stands in the ring* Okay, where's my opponent?
*"Hero" begins playing as Spideman crawls down to the ring, looking very intimidating. He leaps into the ring and immediately kicks Cait Sith off his Moogle and into the ropes.*
Michael Cole: And Spiderman wastes no time drawing first blood!
Cait Sith: Hey, I wasn't ready! *dusts himself off* Well-
Spiderman: *kicks Cait Sith into the turnbuckle*
Cait Sith: Ow! Darn it!
*Cait Sith leaps back onto his moogle and takes out his megaphone.*
Cait Sith: Moogle, attack!
Moogle: *grabs Spiderman*
Tazz: Cait Sith's getting a little help!
Cait Sith: Alright! Now, toss him into the air!
*The moogle obeys, tossing Spiderman up. Cait Sith leaps up from the Moogle and attempts to hook his arms with Spiderman's for a Double DDT.*
Spiderman: No you don't! *kicks Cait Sith into the canvas*
Cait Sith: Ooof!
*Spiderman leaps upon Cait Sith, pinning him.
Ref: 1! 2!
Moogle: *picks up Spiderman*
Tazz: Hey, that's not fair!
Spiderman: I agree! *starts swinging his fists at the Moogle*
Cait Sith: Chokeslam him!
*The Moogle grabs Spiderman's neck and slams him to the ground. Spiderman rolls out of the ring.*
Tazz: What's he doing?
Spiderman: *gets a folding chair and carries it into the ring*
Michael Cole: He's got a chair! Look out!
*Spiderman swings the chair at Cait Sith, only to have the Moogle grab him by the neck again.*
Spiderman: Darn it!
Moogle: *chokeslams Spiderman onto the folding chair*
Cait Sith: Alright!
*Cait Sith rolls on top of Spiderman.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Spiderman: *tosses Cait Sith off of him*
Cait Sith: How did he kick out of that?
*Spiderman points his wrist at Cait Sith and fires several streams of webbing at him, securing him to the turnbuckle. Cait Sith drops his megaphone.*
Cait Sith: Aaah!
Spiderman: *picks up the megaphone* Moogle, beat him with the chair!
Moogle: *picks up the folding chair and starts smacking Cait Sith in the head*
Cait Sith: Hey, you're supposed to work for me! Ow!
*Cait Sith begins to lose consciousness. Spiderman cuts him from the webbing and pins him.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Cait Sith: *kicks out*
Michael Cole: Cait Sith still has some life in him!
*Spiderman picks up Cait Sith and tosses him into the crowd.*
Michael Cole: Whoa!
Spiderman: *shoots webbing out of his wrist, attaching the webbing to a rafter hanging above the ceiling* Here I go!
*Spiderman swings into the crowd and grabs Cait Sith*
Tazz: He's taking the fight into the stands!
Michael Cole: Can he do that?
Tazz: Of course he can do that, Cole!
*Spiderman swings over to the announce table and picks it up. He drops it into the center of the ring.*
Cait Sith: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Michael Cole: Tazz, if he's doing what I think he's doing...
*Spiderman suddenly lets the web go and holds Cait Sith underneath him, slamming him right through the announce table.*
Tazz: Whoa!
Spiderman: *pins Cait Sith*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Michael Cole: And Spiderman wins, with a... uh... Divebomb Through The Announce Table!
Tazz: While we get a new announce table, let's check on what's happening backstage.
*Backstage, in The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster's locker room, a makeshift shrine of Ami, with pictures, personal possesions, and a few locks of hair, is set up.*
TTPCBDM: Oh, Ami... why can't you love me? I love you!
Killerprimeape: *walks in*
TTPCBDM: Oh crap! *throws a blanket over the shrine*
Killerprimeape: What are you doing?
TTPCBDM: Nothing that concerns you, fool! I shall rule all! Mwahaha!
Killerprimeape: Uh... yeah. What's under the blanket?
TTPCBDM: Plans for world domination!
Killerprimeape: Whatever. *leaves*
TTPCBDM: *lifts up the blanket* Ami... *makes kissy faces*
*Meanwhile, in the parking lot...*
Myuu: *steps out of a limo* Oh gosh, I hope I don't get attacked before the Hardcore match tonight... *walks into the arena*
*Back in the ring...*
Tazz: Myuu had better watch his back!
Michael Cole: Yeah, especially with that 24-7 rule in effect. But right now, we're going to see the popular puffball Kirby fight Ifurita.
Tazz: Right now!
*The Dreamland theme plays as Kirby walks down the ramp and into the ring.*
Kirby: Hiiiiiii!
Michael Cole: Aw, isn't he cute?
Tazz: Not really.
*Ifurita walks down to the ring in silence. She steps into the ring and looks at Kirby.*
Ifurita: Awwww... he's so cute!
Kirby: *smiles*
Tazz: So, are they gonna fight, or what?
Ifurita: Of course we're gonna fight! *takes out her staff*
Kirby: Hiya!
*Kirby takes out his Final Blade, leaps up, and slams down in the ring, sending a shockwave at Ifurita. Ifurita leaps over the shockwave.*
Ifurita: Okay, Kirby, you may be cute, but I'm not falling for your tricks! Take this!
*Ifurita points her staff and Kirby and fires a huge stream of fire at him.*
Kirby: Aaaah! *floats up into the air, avoiding the fire blast*
Ifurita: He can float? Okay...
*Ifurita points her staff at Kirby again, this time causing a huge tornado to appear below Kirby.*
Kirby: Whoa! *spins out of control*
Michael Cole: Round and round Kirby goes! Where he stops-
Tazz: Shut up, Cole. You're an idiot.
Michael Cole: Sorry...
*The tornado dissipates, and Kirby smacks into the canvas, hard. Ifurita dives on top of him.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Kirby: *kicks out*
Michael Cole: And Kirby kicks out!
Ifurita: Darn it! *jabs Kirby with her staff*
Kirby: Ooof!
*Kirby begins sucking in, taking in air.*
Ifurita: *is pulled toward Kirby's mouth* What's happening?
Tazz: Well, Kirby sucks.
Kirby: *sucks Ifurita in*
Ifurita: *kicking on Kirby's inside, trying to get out* Hey! Lemme outta here!
Kirby: *spits Ifurita into the turnbuckle*
Michael Cole: Hey, Kirby has Ifurita's clothes on!
Kirby: Hiiii! *fires several laser blasts at Ifurita*
Ifurita: Hey, that's my technique!
*The laser blasts hit Ifurita, sending her flying into the air. She falls into the center of the ring.*
Ifurita: Unnnh...
Kirby: Hiiii!
Michael Cole: Kirby's gonna do his Final Blade again!
*Kirby takes out his blue blade, leaps into the air, and slams the blade down on Ifurita's chest.*
Ifurita: Ooof! *passes out*
Kirby: *rolls on top of Ifurita*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Michael Cole: Kirby wins!
Tazz: Well of course Kirby wins, Cole! He's the best around!
Michael Cole: You said he sucks.
Tazz: I meant LITERALLY sucks, Cole! He sucked Ifurita up, stole her powers, and used them against her!
Michael Cole: But-
Tazz: Cole, I've forgotten more about wrestling then you'll ever know, and I hardly ever forget things!
Michael Cole: *sighs*
*Backstage, Coach is interviewing Xelloss.*
Coach: So, Xelloss, how do you think you'll do tonight?
Xelloss: I'm going to just try and have a fun time, Coach! But I think I can beat Keanu. He doesn't seem all that tough to-
Killerprimeape: *walks up to Xelloss* What's up?
Xelloss: Oh, the Coach is just interviewing me about our battle.
Killerprimeape: Did you tell him who you thought was going to win?
Xelloss: Yes, I told him I was going to-
Killerprimeape: What?
Xelloss: I just said-
Killerprimeape: What?
Coach: Maybe I should come back later. *leaves*
Xelloss: Hey, you just cost me an interview, buddy!
Killerprimeape: I'll cost you a lot more in our match tonight. *starts to walk away*
Xelloss: You come back here, coward! *kicks Killerprimeape down to the ground*
Killerprimeape: *stands up* Why you-
Myuu: *floats between them* Guys, guys, wait for your match tonight!
Xelloss: Hey, aren't you the Hardcore champ?
Myuu: Yes, but-
Killerprimeape: *tackles Myuu*
Myuu: Aaaah!
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Killerprimeape: *takes the Hardcore title* It's mine! It's all mine! *runs off*
Xelloss: Hey! *runs after KP*
*Back in the ring*
Michael Cole: Wow, KP's the Hardcore champ!
Tazz: And here he comes!
Killerprimeape: *runs into the ring, followed by Xelloss* Get away from me!
Xelloss: I want that Hardcore title! Give it to-
Zell: *knocks out Xelloss* Hmph.
Killerprimeape: Who are you?
Zell: I was supposed to face Myuu tonight for the Hardcore Title, but I think I'll face you instead.
Killerprimeape: Well, I would, but I already have a match tonight, so... bye! *runs off*
Zell: Darn it! *chases Killerprimeape*
Tazz: Well, so much for the Hardcore title match!
Michael Cole: I guess we'll just have to settle for the next tournament match, between Yahiko Myojiin and Duke Nukem, starting... now!
*Yahiko walks into the arena and walks down the ramp to the ring. He gets in the ring and takes a few practice swings with his bokken.*
Yahiko: I'm ready!
*Duke Nukem runs down the ramp and rolls into the ring. He takes out his gun and starts shooting at Yahiko.*
Yahiko: Aaah! *runs away from Nukem*
Duke Nukem: C'mere! *chases Yahiko*
Michael Cole: And Duke Nukem seems particularly in a hurry today!
Duke Nukem: I've got an appointment with three women in fifteen minutes!
Michael Cole: Oh...
Yahiko: *runs behind the announce table*
Duke Nukem: *points a rocket launcher at the table*
Tazz: Hey buddy, don't fire that thing over here!
Yahiko: I have to be strong! *smacks Nukem over the head with his bokken*
Duke Nukem: Aaah! Darn it! *drops the rocket launcher and holds his head*
Yahiko: *smacks Nukem across the knees with the bokken*
Duke Nukem: Annoying little brat! *tries to grab Yahiko*
Yahiko: *jabs Duke in the eye*
Duke Nukem: Aaaah! *holds his eye*
Yahiko: *hops back into the ring* Hey you!
Duke Nukem: Grrr... *takes out a freeze gun* I'll kill you! *shoots five freeze charges at Yahiko*
Yahiko: *smacks the freeze charges into the crowd* You'll have to come in the ring if you want to catch me! *pulls down his eyelid and sticks out his tongue* Nyah!
Duke Nukem: Why you little... *hops into the ring*
*In a nimble display of swordsmanship, Yahiko swings his bokken under Duke Nukem's legs, tripping him. Duke falls to the canvas.*
Yahiko: Yes! *pins Duke Nukem*
Ref: 1! 2!
Duke Nukem: *kicks out and grabs Yahiko by the neck*
Yahiko: Aaaah!
Michael Cole: What's he gonna do?
Duke Nukem: Kid, I don't have time for this crap! *starts to slam Yahiko down*
Yahiko: Hiya!
*Out of desperation, Yahiko slams his bokken into Duke's groin. Duke immediately drops Yahiko and falls down, holding his crotch.*
Duke Nukem: Aaaah! Not the family jewels!
Ref: Hey! That's a low blow! *rings the bell* You're disqualified!
Yahiko: WHAT?
Duke Nukem: *laughs*
Michael Cole: Oh man, that was unexpected! Yahiko gets slapped with the DQ!
Tazz: Well of course he did, Cole! You can't go around slamming your weapon into people's grapefruits! That's not nice!
Michael Cole: May I remind you that Duke Nukem tried to kill us earlier?
Tazz: Whatever.
*Meanwhile, backstage...*
Killerprimeape: *leans against a wall* Man, it's hard work holding onto the Hardcore title... *walks up to the entrance ramp* I hope no one tries to win it while I'm fighting Xelloss...
*In the ring...*
Tazz: Here we go! It's the main event! Killerprimeape is gonna fight Xellos Metallium... right now!
*The techno remix of the Turks' theme song hits as Killerprimeape makes his way down to the ring. He hands his Hardcore title belt to the ref.*
Killerprimeape: Whew...
*As soon as KP is in the ring, "But But But" hits, and Xelloss walks down the ramp.*
Xelloss: Grrr... I've got issues with you, KP! *steps into the ring*
Killerprimeape: Bring it on!
*Xelloss lifts his hands into the air and fires off several dark orbs at KP. KP pulls out his naginata and swings it at the orbs, dissipating all of them.*
Killerprimeape: Is that the best you've got?
Xelloss: No way, Hardcore title stealer! *bashes KP with his staff*
Killerprimeape: *takes out his guns and starts firing wildly at Xelloss*
Xelloss: Whoa!
*Xelloss barely manages to dodge the bullets, moving right into KP's fist. KP punches Xelloss in the face, knocking him to the ground.*
Killerprimeape: *dives on Xelloss*
Ref: 1! 2!
Xelloss: *kicks out* Why you-
Cactus Cait: *climbs into the ring*
Michael Cole: What does he want?
Cactus Cait: *kicks Killerprimeape down*
Killerprimeape: Hey!
Cactus Cait: Mwahaha! The Hardcore title is mine! *dives on Killerprimeape*
Ref: 1! 2!
Killerprimeape: *kicks out, then grabs Cactus Cait by the tail and smacks him right into Xelloss' face*
Xelloss: That hurt! *falls to the ground*
Killerprimeape: *dives on Xelloss*
Ref: 1! 2!
Cactus Cait: *kicks KP off of Xelloss, then dives on KP*
Ref: 1! 2!
Killerprimeape: *grabs Cactus Cait* Get out of here! *tosses Cactus Cait out of the ring*
Xelloss: Burst Bomb!
*Xelloss fires off the Burst Bomb attack, which explodes and knocks a now dazed KP to the ground. Xelloss pins KP.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Killerprimeape: *kicks out*
Michael Cole: Oh, so close!
Xelloss: Grrr....
Mewtwo: *floats into the ring*
Xelloss: What are you doing?
Killerprimeape: Oh no...
Mewtwo: *kicks KP down, then pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Killerprimeape: *tosses Mewtwo out of the ring* Why does everyone want my title?
Xelloss: Time to end this! Shadow Snap!
*A magical sword appears in Xelloss' hand. He points it at KP's shadow and stabs into it, paralyzing KP.*
Killerprimeape: Hey! I can't move!
Xelloss: *pushes KP down* Finally! *pins KP*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jessie: *kicks Xelloss off of KP* Oh no you don't! I'm getting that Hardcore title!
Michael Cole: Remember, this is a No Disqualifications match, so this is all perfectly legal!
Jessie: *pins KP*
Ref: 1! 2!
Xelloss: *grabs Jessie and tosses her out of the ring* Grrr... you're all so annoying! *pins KP*
Ref: 1! 2!
Killerprimeape: *kicks out*
Xelloss: Hey, you're supposed to be paralyzed!
Killerprimeape: I was, for about two minutes. I guess this title's a blessing and a curse, huh? *gets up and punches Xelloss*
Xelloss: Aaah! *staggers back* Why you-
Michael Cole: Oh my gosh, look!
*Cole points to the ramp, where Vegeta is standing. He walks down to the ring and faces KP and Xelloss*
Vegeta: Grrr... I want that title!
Xelloss: Well, I-
Vegeta: Shut up! *punches Xelloss, knocking him out*
Michael Cole: Vegeta's on the warpath!
Killerprimeape: Hey now-
Vegeta: Die! *punches KP in the stomach, knocking him out* Fool! *pins KP*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Vegeta: Yes! *takes the Hardcore title*
Michael Cole: And Vegeta's the new Hardcore champion!
Vegeta: *watches Zell, Sephiroth, and Cloak run toward him* Fools!
*Vegeta punches out the three would-be Hardcore title contenders, and then casually walks away from the ring. Xelloss wakes up.*
Xelloss: Unnnh... anyone got the name of that bus? *sees KP, lying in the ring* What happened to him? *crawls into the ring and pins KP*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Xelloss: Yay. *passes out again*
Michael Cole: What a bad match for KP! He loses both the match AND the Hardcore title!
Tazz: Well, I don't feel any sympathy for him. He should know better than to make Vegeta mad!
Michael Cole: But he didn't do anything to Vegeta.
Tazz: Shut up, Cole.
*Vegeta stands at the top of the ramp, with the Hardcore title slung over his shoulder.*
Vegeta: Fools! *tilts his head back and begins laughing as the camera zooms in on his face*
*The PFFA Smackdown! logo appears. Fade to black.*
=======================================
*The PFFA RAW theme, "Move To The Music", plays as the camera pans in to the PFFA Arena, where thousands of screaming fans are cheering. A large cage is suspended above the ring.*
Jim Ross: Hello, and welcome to PFFA RAW! Tonight, we've got an awesome main event!
Jerry Lawler: That's right! It's a rematch of Pokemon: The First Movie! Mewtwo and Mew are going head to head!
Jim Ross: But first, it's a cage match! Myotismon, the evil vampire Digimon, is going to face Kaura Nighthawk!
Jerry Lawler: And here they come now!
*Myotismon walks down to the ring in silence, winking at some of the girls in the audience.*
Myotismon: I'll drink your blood after I win! *steps into the ring*
*Kaura Nighthawk's theme, "Crawlin", hits as Kaura makes his way to the ring. He steps into the ring, and the cage lowers, closing over the ring.*
Ref: Here are the rules. There's a door at the side of the cage. First person out the door wins.
Kaura: Easy enough. *kicks Myotismon down*
Myotismon: Aaah!
Jim Ross: And Kaura is already going for the win!
Kaura: *strolls to the door*
Myotismon: Crimson Lightning! *fires off a stream of lightning, wrapping around one of Kaura's legs* C'mere!
*Myotismon pulls Kaura to the center of the ring and begins stomping him.*
Kaura: *pulls out his Virosth and slices off Myotismon's left arm*
Myotismon: Aaaah!
Kaura: You shouldn't have tried to stop me! Quicksilver Slash!
*Kaura slashes across Myotismon's chest, making a large cut.*
Myotismon: Darn it! Grisly Wing!
*Hundreds of bats fly at Kaura. Kaura simply raises his hand and fires a small ki blast, disintegrating the bats.*
Jim Ross: And Kaura has definately taken control of this match!
Kaura: I'll finish you off! *stabs Myotismon through the chest*
Myotismon: Argh! *falls over, dead*
Jerry Lawler: He killed Myotismon!
Jim Ross: And Kaura's exiting the cage now!
Kaura: *opens the door* I'm home free!
VenomMyotismon: *grabs Kaura* Not so fast!
Kaura: What? *looks* Oh my...
Jim Ross: Oh my God! Oh my God! Myotismon has digivolved into VenomMyotismon!
Jerry Lawler: Don't you know you can never kill Myotismon?
VenomMyotismon: *begins crushing Kaura in his fist* You fool!
*VenomMyotismon lets out a chilling laugh as Kaura struggles to get free from his grip.*
Kaura: Darn it! I have to do something, fast! I know!
*Kaura fires a large blast from his eyes, hitting VenomMyotismon in the eyes.*
VenomMyotismon: *screams out in pain and drops Kaura*
Kaura: Now... *swings Virosth, cutting off VenomMyotismon's leg*
VenomMyotismon: Aaaah! *falls over*
Kaura: Now's my chance!
*Kaura climbs over VenomMyotismon's body and begins to exit the cage. However, VenomMyotismon is taking up so much of the cage that he is blocking the exit!*
Kaura: Crap!
Jim Ross: VenomMyotismon's blocking the exit!
Kaura: Guess I'll have to kill him. *fires a ki blast, disintegrating VenomMyotismon* Now, to leave. *opens the cage door*
MaloMyotismon: Where are you going? Crimson Mist!
*MaloMyotismon fires a stream of deadly acid at Kaura.*
Kaura: Hiryu Shoten Ha!
*Kaura reverses the mist, sending it back at MaloMyotismon. It disintegrates him completely.*
Kaura: Now, to-
SuperduperhyperplusalphaMyotismon: Not so fast!
Kaura: Not again!
Jerry Lawler: Oh man, Myotismon's immortal!
SDHPAMyotismon: Die!
*SDHPAMyotismon floors Kaura with a series of powerful punches. Kaura gets up.*
Kaura: What do I have to do to beat this guy?
SDHPAMyotismon: Mwahaha! You can never defeat me! I'll always come back! Always!
Kaura: Wait a second, I know how to beat him!
Jim Ross: How?
Kaura: By telling him my dreams for the future!
SDHPAMyotismon: What...what's happening to me? The light... the light! Argh! *disintegrates*
Kaura: Wow, that actually worked?
*Kaura climbs out of the cage.*
Jim Ross: And Kaura wins!
Jerry Lawler: I can't believe it! Myotismon got beat because of someone's dreams for the future? How weak!
Jim Ross: Well, next, we have another huge mismatch! Inuyasha, a half-demon, may be powerful. But he's about to face his biggest challenge ever, when he goes one on one with LieutenantX and a giant mech!
*The roof of the arena opens up and the ring expands to a huge battle floor.*
Jerry Lawler: Inuyasha better watch out! He might get stepped on!
*Suddenly, "Change The World" hits as Inuyasha walks down the ramp to the now huge wrestling ring.*
Inuyasha: Oh crap, this is a bad sign...
*The ground begins to quake as "We Are All Made Of Stars" begins playing. A gargantuan battle mech comes down into the ring and lands in front of Inuyasha.*
LieutenantX: Is that an ant, or my opponent?
Jim Ross: Oh my God! Oh my God! This is a mismatch! Inuyasha will be crushed! Stop the match! For God's sake, stop the match!
HSCUP2: *points its giant shotgun at Inuyasha*
Inuyasha: It's now or never! I'm bleeding a little, so... Claws Of Blood! *fires energy beams at the mecha*
*The beams simply bounce off the mighty mecha's armor.*
LieutenantX: *laughs* You can't win!
*HSCUP2 fires its gigantic shotgun at Inuyasha. The huge blast annihilates half the ring. When the smoke clears, Inuyasha is lying unconscious in a huge crater.*
Jim Ross: Oh man, he's out cold! But he's gotta be pinned in the ring!
*HSCUP2 extends its energy claw and picks up Inuyasha. It drops the half-youkai into the ring.*
LieutenantX: Now to pin him.
*The mecha tries to bend over, but it can't. It tries a number of various other positions, but it can't bend down enough to be able to pin Inuyasha. Inuyasha finally wakes up.*
Inuyasha: Did I lose?
Jim Ross: No! That giant mecha is so big, it can't bend down enough to pin you!
Inuyasha: Really? Well then, it's my turn to attack! *takes out his sword at begins slicing at the mecha's leg, doing no damage at all*
LieutenantX: You can't hurt this thing! It's invincible!
Inuyasha: This is unbelieveable!
*The giant mecha slams its fist into Inuyasha. Inuyasha goes flying into the crowd.*
Jim Ross: Oh my god! Inuyasha's being slaughtered like an Oklahoma cow!
*Inuyasha slams right into an "Inuyasha Sucks" sign. He grabs the sign and tears it in two, and then leaps back into the ring.*
Inuyasha: How am I gonna beat this thing?
Jerry Lawler: Just give up!
LieutenantX: Yeah, give up!
Inuyasha: I'll never surrender! Grrr... Soul Crushing Iron Claw!
*A huge claw appears and swipes at the mecha. Sparks fly from the mecha's frame, and bolts of electricity begin flying from it.*
Jim Ross: And Inuyasha has actually damaged the mech!
LieutenantX: How did he do that? Argh!
*HSCUP2 begins firing missiles from everywhere on its body. The explosions toss Inuyasha high up into the air.*
Inuyasha: Aaaah!
*Inuyasha's back slams into the canvas.*
Inuyasha: Argh! My back!
Jim Ross: Oh my God! Inuyasha's back is broke! How can LieutenantX do that to another living creature?
Inuyasha: Aaaah! *rolls over*
LieutenantX: Now to pin him! Somehow...
*The mecha begins trying pinning positions, but none of them work.*
LieutenantX: I know! Maybe if I lift the leg just enough...
*But when the mecha tries to lift one of its legs, sparks fly from it.*
LieutenantX: That soul stealer attack must have shorted out some of the circuits in the mech! I can't pin him!
Inuyasha: *stands up weakly* This is it... my ultimate attack!
*Inuyasha holds up his sword. He swings it, sending three huge energy waves at the mecha. Then, he falls over again.*
LieutenantX: Oh no!
*The waves hit the mecha, and immediately, the mecha break down. Its arms fall off, and the mecha falls over... right on top of Inuyasha.*
Jerry Lawler: That's a pin!
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
LieutenantX: *hops out of HSCUP2's smoldering wreckage* Yeah! Alright! I win! *does a victory dance*
Jim Ross: Oh my God! Oh my God! Poor Inuyasha! He's been crushed alive! Well, while we clean up the ring, let's go backstage!
*Backstage...*
Tasuki: *drinking sake* So, you're the Hardcore champ?
Vegeta: *holding a can of beer* Yes, I am, you fool!
Tasuki: You know, I won a tournament once.
Vegeta: Shut up! I don't want to hear about you!
Shugo: *walks in* Hey.
Vegeta: Hey, isn't your match coming up?
Shugo: They're cleaning up the ring from the last match, so it's delayed. Beer me.
Vegeta: *tosses Shugo a beer*
Shugo: Hey Vegeta, don't you have a Hardcore match?
Vegeta: Everyone's too scared to challenge me! But I'm going to face Tetsuo for the title on Smackdown.
Shugo: Hmm... hey Vegeta, look behind you!
Vegeta: I'm not falling for that! Do you think I'm stupid? I-
Tasuki: *tackles Vegeta from behind*
Ref: *runs into the room* 1! 2!
Vegeta: *tosses Tasuki off of him* Fool! You made me spill my beer! Argh! *stomps out of the room*
*Elsewhere...*
Tidus: Hey Yuna, who are you facing in the first round?
Yuna: I'm facing Ami in two weeks.
Tidus: You'll beat her.
Yuna: What if Trunks interferes?
Tidus: Oooh... that could be a problem...
TTPCBDM: *walks into the room* Is there a problem?
Tidus: It's you! That This Page guy!
TTPCBDM: If Trunks is a problem, I could waste him for you.
Yuna: No way! You're evil!
TTPCBDM: Aw, you guys are no fun. *leaves*
Tidus: What's his problem?
*Back in the ring...*
Jim Ross: Well, all the wreckage has been cleared from the ring.
Jerry Lawler: Cactus Cait is facing Shugo! Let's watch!
*Cactus Jack's theme hits as Cactus Cait walks down to the ring to a big pop from the crowd.*
Cactus Cait: Yeah! Alright! Whoohoo! *steps into the ring*
*Shugo comes out to the ring to silence, except for many, many boos from the crowd.*
Shugo: Aw, shut up. *steps into the ring* So, are we ready?
Cactus Cait: Oh yeah!
*Cactus Cait takes out some dice.*
Shugo: Dice? What the heck?
Cactus Cait: *tosses the dice*
Shugo: Aaah! *begins recoiling in pain*
Jim Ross: What did he do?
Jerry Lawler: Some kind of freaky magic!
Shugo: *forms a water blade in his hand* No more of that!
*Shugo lunges at Cactus Cait and slashes at him. Cactus Cait dodges, then reverses the attack with a Double Arm DDT.*
Cactus Cait: Ha!
Shugo: *stands up* Grrr... stupid cat.
*Shugo waves his arm, causing a huge fireball to appear above Cactus Cait. The fireball crashes down onto the cat, setting his cape on fire.*
Cactus Cait: AAAAH! *stops, drops and rolls*
Shugo: *kicks the rolling Cactus Cait out of the ring*
Jim Ross: Oh my God! That's cruelty to animals! Oh my God! Oh my God!
Cactus Cait: *whips out his megaphone* You asked for it!
*Cactus Cait yells into the megaphone. A large Moogle walks down the ramp and grabs Shugo.*
Shugo: Hey!
Moogle: Roar! *slams Shugo to the ground, then hits him with a Bonzai Drop*
Cactus Cait: Alright! Attack attack attack!
*The Moogle picks up Shugo and tosses him out of the ring*
Shugo: *lands on the announce table* Darn it! *hops off the announce table* You asked for it!
*Shugo unsheathes his sword*
Shugo: I usually don't use this, but I think now's a pretty good time! Barrier Of Wind!
*Shugo leaps into the ring, and a huge wind barrier flares up around him, tossing Cactus Cait and the Moogle into the air. Shugo leaps up and slices the Moogle in half.*
Cactus Cait: *falls onto the canvas* Unnh...
Shugo: *laughs* Well, well, well.
Cactus Cait: *stands up* You... you killed my Moogle!
Shugo: Yeah...
Cactus Cait: Die! *walks over to the dead Moogle, and pulls Mr. Socko from its mouth*
Shugo: What the-
Cactus Cait: Mandible Claw! *shoves his hand into Shugo's mouth*
Shugo: Ack! *staggers backward, then passes out*
Jim Ross: Oh, that is sick! That is sick!
Cactus Cait: *pins Shugo*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jerry Lawler: No way! I can't believe it!
Cactus Cait: I win! Yay! *dances around*
*Backstage...*
Myuu: Okay, Mew, you can beat Mewtwo!
Mew: Yeah!
Mewtwo: *walks past* Good luck.
Mew: Um... same to you. But you know I won't need it, cuz I'll win!
Mewtwo: Uh-huh. Suuuure. *walks away*
*In the ring...*
*Mewtwo walks up the ramp, wagging his tail menacingly. He stops walking and floats into the ring.*
Mewtwo: Time to begin.
*Mew floats into the ring in a really cute bubble as "Midnight Blue" plays. Mew stands at the other side of the ring from Mewtwo.*
Jim Ross: Here it is, the main event!
Jerry Lawler: This'll be great, JR!
*Mew and Mewtwo begin floating around each other, staring each other down.*
Mew: Go ahead, make the first move!
Mewtwo: You.
Mew: Fine!
*Mew fires off a Psybeam at Mewtwo. Mewtwo responds with a Psybeam of his own. The two attacks collide and cancel each other out.*
Jim Ross: And this battle is underway!
Mew: *giggles* Not bad!
Mewtwo: *lunges at Mew at throws a Mega Punch at her*
Mew: Whoa! *floats out of the way and grabs Mewtwo's arm with her tail* Hee hee! *tosses Mewtwo into the air*
Mewtwo: *stops and fires another Psybeam at Mew*
Mew: Yikes!
*Mew is immediately surrounded by a pink bubble.*
Mew: Mwahaha! My Barrier's unbreakable! *giggles*
Mewtwo: Stop that.
*Mewtwo extends both of his hands and fires a large energy beam at Mew. Mew puts up her Barrier again.*
Mew: Try again!
Mewtwo: *lunges at Mew and swings his fist at her*
Mew: Aaah!
*Mewtwo's fist connects with Mew's face, sending her flying back. Mew comes to a stop outside of the ring.*
Jim Ross: And Mewtwo finally lands a punch!
Mew: Alright, that does it! You're going down!
*Mew floats in front of Mewtwo and fires off a Solarbeam, Fire Blast, Blizzard, and Hydro Pump attack at Mewtwo. The four attack combine into one huge beam. Mewtwo puts up his Barrier and blocks the four attacks, however, the force of the attacks knocks Mewtwo back into the ropes. Mewtwo hits the canvas. Immediately, Mew dives upon Mewtwo.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Mewtwo: *kicks out* No you don't! *grabs Mew*
Mew: Aaaah!
Mewtwo: *leaps up and chokeslams Mew*
Mew: *bounces off the canvas*
Mewtwo: *pins Mew*
Ref: 1! 2!
Mew: *kicks out* Darn it! *floats up* Grrr...
*Mew and Mewtwo begin floating around the ring again.*
Jim Ross: This is one close fight!
Mew: Psybeam!
Mewtwo: Psychic!
*The two attacks collide, creating a huge explosion which both Mew and Mewtwo have to put up their Barriers to block.*
Mew: Mewtwo, you're mean!
Mewtwo: *lunges at Mew and punches her*
Mew: *hits the turnbuckle* Ouch!
Mewtwo: *pins Mew*
Ref: 1! 2!
Mew: *kicks out and flips Mewtwo over, pinning him*
ReF: 1! 2!
Mewtwo: *kicks out*
Jim Ross: This fight is a real slobberknocker! Holy cow!
*Suddenly, Vegeta runs down the ramp.*
Jim Ross: Oh my God! It's Vegeta!
Mew: Hey!
Vegeta: Shut up! *knocks Mew out*
Mew: Unnh...
Mewtwo: Hey!
Vegeta: *runs off*
Mewtwo: Well... *pins Mew*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jim Ross: Oh my God! Oh my God! This is the second main event in a row that Vegeta has cost someone the match! When will it end?
*Meanwhile, backstage...*
Vegeta: *running away* Stupid Mews. I hate them.
*Suddenly, a triangle with a ski mask on floats up to Vegeta with a crowbar.*
Vegeta: Who are you?
Ski Mask Dude: *smacks Vegeta over the head with the crowbar, knocking him out* Fool. *takes off the ski mask*
Jim Ross: Oh my God! It's the This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster!
TTPCBDM: *pins Vegeta*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
TTPCBDM: *takes the Hardcore Title* Tell your son that I'm coming after him. *spits on Vegeta, then walks away as the camera focuses on the unconscious Saiyajin*
*PFFA RAW logo appears. Fade to black.*
=======================================
*The PFFA Smackdown theme, "The Beautiful People", hits as the camera pans into the PFFA Arena's wrestling ring. The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster and Tetsuo Shima are standing in the ring, surrounded by various weapons.*
Michael Cole: We're here live for PFFA Smackdown!
Tazz: We're starting off the show with a bang as two sad*stic warriors face off for the PFFA Hardcore Championship!
TTPCBDM: Mwahaha! I shall rule all!
Tetsuo: Like that'll be the day.
TTPCBDM: Hey, wait, you like killing things and making people suffer, and I like killing things and making people suffer.
Tetsuo: And?
TTPCBDM: Why don't I hold the title, and you be my bodyguard?
Tetsuo: Why don't you suck my-
Vegeta: *gets behind Tetsuo and punches him to the ground* Fool!
TTPCBDM: Hey, it's you!
Vegeta: And you're next! I'll-
Tetsuo: *grabs Vegeta's legs* Hey, you! Let's teach this guy a lesson before our match!
TTPCBDM: Alright. *grabs Vegeta's arms*
Michael Cole: Oh my God!
*The two sad*stic warriors carry Vegeta over to the announce table and 3D him through it.*
Tazz: Whoa!
Michael Cole: Those sick, sad*stic fiends!
TTPCBDM: *stomps on Vegeta's chest*
Tetsuo: Gravity Control!
*Suddenly, Vegeta is crushed by 10,000x of the Earth's gravity.*
Vegeta: *screams in pain*
TTPCBDM: Hey, that's cool.
Tetsuo: You haven't seen the best part. Body Explo-
Trunks: *kicks Tetsuo into the ring*
Michael Cole: This has turned into an all-out bloodbath!
TTPCBDM: *grabs Trunks by the neck* Hello there. Now I can kill you.
Ami: *smacks TTPCBDM with a folding chair* Let my Trunks go!
TTPCBDM: *drops Trunks* Ami, so good of you to arrive.
Tetsuo: Gravity Control!
TTPCBDM: *blocks the attack with an error message* Take my title, will you?
Ami: *leaps on TTPCBDM*
Ref: *super-quick count* 1! 2! 3!
Ami: *grabs the belt, helps Trunks up, then runs from the ring*
Tetsuo: Hey! That's mine! Body Explosion!
*But before the attack hits Ami, an error message blocks it.*
TTPCBDM: No! No one hurts my Ami!
*Ami and Trunks leave.*
Tetsuo: You'll pay!
TTPCBDM: *punches out Tetsuo*
Michael Cole: And a brawl has erupted in the ring!
Tazz: As soon as it ends, tonight's first tournament match will begin! Ranma versus Zebek!
*Backstage...*
Jessie: *watching the events unfold on the TV screen* Well James, it looks like that girl Sailor Mercury is the Hardcore Champ.
James: *in lingerie* That's good, Jessie!
Jessie: Why?
James: Because now, none of those greedy title-hungry meanies will try to interrupt my match tonight!
Jessie: What about Violet and Lily?
James: We made up with them!
Jessie: Butch and Cassidy?
James: They're too weak!
Jessie: *sighs* Almost every main event ends in interference... although the sight of you in lingerie should keep people away.
James: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? *holds up a pumping device* You remember this, don't you? *squeezes the device, pumping up his fake "assets"*
Jessie: That'll REALLY keep everyone away.
*Back in the ring*
Michael Cole: Well, thanks to the MPA, we got those two miscreants out of the ring!
Tazz: Miscreants? They're gonna win the tournament, Cole!
*The Ranma theme hits as Ranma walks down to the ring.*
Ranma: Hi, everyone!
Tazz: I hope somebody brought the cold water!
Michael Cole: *drinking bottled water* Uh-uh, you're not getting this.
*Zebek walks out to the ring to silence. When he gets in the ring, he stops.*
Zebek: Wait... you use that Anything Goes crap, don't you?
Ranma: Yeah, what about it?
Zebek: *whips out a huge rocket launcher*
Ranma: Oh crap...
*Zebek fires off several rockets from the huge weapon. Several rockets fly at Ranma.*
Ranma: Yikes!
*Through Ranma's great speed, he ducks and dodges the rockets.*
Ranma: Ha!
Zebek: *blindsides Ranma with the blunt side of the rocket launcher*
Ranma: Oof! *falls to the canvas*
Zebek: *pins Ranma*
Ref: 1! 2!
Ranma: *kicks out, then kicks Zebek away*
Zebek: *whips out his plasma cannon* How about this?
*Zebek fires a stream of energy from the weapon. Ranma smiles.*
Ranma: Are you forgetting? Hiryu Shoten Ha!
*The energy is reversed, changed into a large spear, and is pointed at Zebek's chest. It rushes at Zebek. Zebek easily leaps out of the way and onto the turnbuckle.*
Zebek: I should have remembered you could do that...
Ranma: Hi-ya!
*Ranma leaps up and kicks Zebek back into the ring*
Michael Cole: Wow, Ranma's fast!
Tazz: *grabs Michael's water bottle*
Michael Cole: Hey!
Tazz: *opens the bottle*
Ranma: *looks at Tazz* What are you doing?
Zebek: *takes out an assault rifle and shoots Ranma in the shoulder*
Ranma: Aaaah! That hurt! *turns around* Okay, Zebek, you're-
Tazz: *splashes the water on Ranma*
Ranma: Aaaah! Darn it!
*Ranma's body transforms into that of a beautiful woman.*
Ranma: Oh crap! Tazz, I'm gonna get you!
Tazz: Bring it on, girlie! *makes kissy faces at Ranma*
Michael Cole: That was my water... you stole it!
Zebek: *watches Ranma, Cole, and Tazz argue* This oughta be good.
Tazz: *has Ranma in the Tazzmission* You like that? Huh?
Ranma: I thought you didn't hurt girls!
Zebek: *points the rocket launcher at Ranma*
Ranma: Aaah! *taps out* I'm tappin' out! *runs out of the ring*
Zebek: Awww... I wanted to blast him.
Tazz: The Tazzmission makes everybody tap!
Zebek: She tapped because I was about to shoot her!
Tazz: Could you shoot Cole, too?
Michael Cole: I heard that!
*Backstage...*
Ami: *ducks into Trunks' locker room* There's crazy people everywhere!
Trunks: Maybe you oughta give up the title. It's really not worth it.
Ami: *sighs* This'll probably be the only title I ever have in my life, and I'd like to keep it! But... but you're probably right...
Trunks: If anyone wants your Hardcore title, they'll have to go through me.
Ami: Oh, thank you, Trunks! *kisses Trunks*
*Back in the ring...*
Michael Cole: It's going to be a battle of two bums, next!
Tazz: Hey, don't call Kain a bum. He's the best character in Final Fantasy IV, cole!
Michael Cole: Kain's a traitor.
Tazz: Whatever!
*"I Destroyed The World" hits as Ollie rides his skateboard down to the ring. He leaps up and, in a drunken stupor, tries to grind the top rope, but he falls down inside the ring.*
Ollie: *burps*
*Suddenly, Kain leaps down into the ring with his spear pointed at Ollie. Ollie staggers out of the way, and Kain jabs his spear into the canvas.*
Kain: Come here!
Ollie: No way, man! *takes out a beer and chugs it down*
Kain: You can't drink beer in the ring!
Ollie: Stone Cold does it!
Kain: *sighs and swings his spear at Ollie*
Ollie: Whoa! *staggers out of the way again* Hey man, be my friend.
Kain: Are you drunk?
Michael Cole: Of course he's drunk!
Ollie: *burps*
Kain: This is disgusting.
Ollie: *bashes Kain over the head with his skateboard*
Kain: Ow! *falls down*
Ollie: *rolls on top of Kain*
Ref: 1! 2!
Kain: *kicks out* This is making me mad! *stomps around*
Ollie: *burps*
Kain: Argh! *jabs his spear through Ollie's chest*
Michael Cole: Oh my God! Kain has impaled Ollie!
*But instead of dropping dead, Ollie simply staggers away with Kain's spear in his chest.*
Kain: How... how... how can you survive that?
Ollie: I don't know... oh man, I need a Mike Ragnal's Hard Lemonade.
Kain: WHAT?
Mike Ragnal: *runs down to the ring and hands Ollie a Mike Ragnal's Hard Lemonade*
Ollie: Thanks, man. *chugs down the lemonade*
Kain: This is pathetic AND disgusting! *tries to pull the spear out of Ollie's chest*
Ollie: What are you doing, man? *burps* Oh man, I'm wasted. *falls over*
Kain: Is he dead?
Mike Ragnal: No, just passed out from all the alcohol.
Kain: Well, at least I can pin him now. *pins Ollie*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Kain: Finally! *leaves the ring*
Ollie: *wakes up* Wha... wha happen?
Mike Ragnal: You lost the match. *looks* You know, you really oughta do something about that spear in your chest.
Ollie: You oughta get me another Mike Ragnal's Hard Lemonade.
Mike Ragnal: *sighs, then leaves*
Tazz: Wow, was that a match, or an ad for hard lemonade?
Michael Cole: I dunno.
*Suddenly, Hulk Hogan's entrance theme plays.*
Tazz: Who's that?
Bill: *floats down to the ring wearing red and yellow ribbons* Hi!
Michael Cole: It's Bill!
Bill: *floats into the ring* I'm just here to make sure Aya wins her match tonight, because she's my friend! *leaves*
*Backstage...*
James: AAAAH! He's gonna interfere!
Jessie: You're scared of a piece of paper?
James: YES! Do you know what the worst thing about a papercut is?
Jessie: I don't know, and I don't care. I'm going to my match now. *leaves*
James: It stings like a devil! STINGS LIKE A DEVIL! JESSIE? HELP ME!!!
*In the ring...*
*"Maemuki Rocketto-Dan" begins playing as Jessie, now transformed into her Legends and Myths form, walks down to the ring. Her beautiful cat-like physique shows as she steps into the ring.*
Jessie: I'm ready to fight!
*Jecht's theme plays as Tidus jogs down to the ring. He unsheathes his Caladbolg sword and swings at around.*
Tidus: Hey, you look like a cat!
Tazz: Catgirl to be exact. Oh man, catgirls are hot!
Jessie: Grrr... *forms a psychic sword* I'll cut off your head!
Tazz: Whoo-hoo!
Michael Cole: Tazz, stop interfering in the matches.
*While Cole and Tazz argue, Tidus and Jessie begin sword-fighting.*
Tidus: *stabs at Jessie*
Jessie: *parries the attack*
Tidus: Not too bad for a girl.
Jessie: FOR A GIRL? Argh!
*Jessie's sword disappears. She begins firing psychic blasts at Tidus.*
Tidus: Hey! *sheathes his sword and rolls away from the blasts*
Jessie: *slaps Tidus in the face with her tail*
Tidus: *falls over*
Jessie: *pins Tidus*
Ref: 1! 2!
Tidus: *kicks out* Haste!
*Tidus begins glowing gold. He runs around the ring in a hyper manner.*
Jessie: Wha?
*Suddenly, Jessie is floored by a series of quick punches from Tidus. She falls to the ground.*
Tidus: *pins Jessie*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jessie: *kicks out* Why you-
Tidus: *knocks Jessie down and pins her again*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jessie: *kicks out and rolls away*
Tidus: *jumps on Jessie*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jessie: *kicks out* I'm sick of this!
*Jessie forms a psychic sword and jams it through Tidus' chest. He falls over.*
Michael Cole: Oh no! Tidus is down!
*Angels begin floating above Tidus. He gets back up.*
Jessie: *gasps*
Tidus: Good thing I cast Auto-Life before the fight, huh?
Jessie: That's cheating! Referee, disqualify him!
Ref: Uh, magic isn't cheating in this tournament...
Jessie: What?
*Jessie's eyes begin glowing red. The ref gets a dazed look in his eye.*
Tidus: Huh?
Jessie: So, referee... is magic illegal now?
Ref: Yes! Very illegal! Tidus, you're disqualified!
Michael Cole: No way!
Jessie: *cackles wickedly*
Tidus: Aw man! *starts throwing a temper tantrum in the ring*
Tazz: Look at Tidus! *laughs*
Michael Cole: Give him a break, he's just a kid.
*Backstage, in Ami's locker room...*
Ami: I'm surprised no one has come in here yet.
Trunks: That's because they know I'm in here. They're probably-
*There is a knock on the door.*
Ami: Oh no!
Trunks: Ami, hide!
Ami: *hides inside a locker*
Trunks: *opens the door*
Bill: *floats inside* Hi, Trunks!
Trunks: Uh, hello, Bill.
Ami: *emerges from her hiding place* Bill?
Trunks: Wow, Bill... you-
Bill: Look like Hulk Hogan?
Trunks: Well-
Ami: Oh yes, Bill, you certainly do!
Bill: I'm planning to make sure Aya wins her match with James tonight!
Trunks: That shouldn't be too hard. James is pretty weak. He should-
Tetsuo: *walks into the room* Hello.
Ami: *gasps* Trunks, it's Tetsuo!
Tetsuo: Now I can get that belt.
Trunks: No! *punches at Tetsuo*
Tetsuo: *grabs Trunks and slams him into the wall*
Ami: *shudders* Please, don't hurt me...
Tetsuo: Body Explosion!
*An error message blocks the attack.*
TTPCBDM: Ami, my love! I won't let this fiend harm you! *slams Tetsuo into the wall*
Ami: *grabs Trunks and runs off*
Tetsuo: She's getting away!
TTPCBDM: *stomps Tetsuo*
*In the ring...*
Tazz: Now for the main event! It's Aya Brea and James.... in a lingerie match?
Michael Cole: Well, we all know James likes to crossdress.
Tazz: I know but-
*"Aya's Theme" hits as Aya walks down to the ring wearing a black sports bra and underwear. She climbs into the ring to a monumentous pop from the mostly male audience.*
Tazz: OH MAN, SHE'S HOT!!!
*"Lucky, Lucky" hits as James flies down to the ring, his wings and tail complimenting his outfit, a lacy white bra and lacy white panties. Hooked up to his bra is a small, rubber spherical device.*
James: *flies into the ring* Mwahaha! *pumps up his fake breasts for the audience, somehow getting an even bigger cheer than Aya did*
Aya: Hey now...
James: Mwahaha!
Aya: *takes out her gun and points it at James*
James: I am a mighty Moltres! No one hurts me! *takes out his wind sword and smacks the gun out of Aya's hands*
Michael Cole: Not another gun/sword fight. After Bebop, these things are becoming so cliche...
James: *kicks Aya into the ropes*
Aya: *bounces off the ropes and slams into James, knocking him to the ground*
James: Ouch! *hits the canvas*
Aya: *pins James*
Ref: 1! 2!
James: *kicks out* Here's why they call me James of the Winds!
*A breeze begins floating through the arena. It turns into a small tornado, manifesting itself in the ring. It picks up Aya and tosses her into the air*
Aya: Whoa! *lands on the announce table*
Tazz: OH MAN! THANK YOU, JAMES!
Aya: You pervert! *slaps Tazz*
*While Aya is beating the crap out of Tazz, James is standing in the ring, getting the crowd to cheer for him by pumping his fake breasts larger and larger.*
James: Yes! Cheer for me!
Aya: *looks at James* He's making a fool of himself. *hops into the ring and gets to the side of James*
James: Wha?
*Aya points her gun and fires a bullet, popping both of James' fake breasts. They quickly deflate, and the crowd cheers even louder.*
James: Hey! That wasn't nice!
Aya: *kicks James to the canvas and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
James: *kicks out* You'll pay for ruining my crowd reaction!
Aya: Suuuure...
James: *slashes Aya across the leg with his sword*
Aya: Aaaah! *collapses to the ground*
James: Yes!
Aya: No!
James: *stomps on Aya* Die!
Aya: *rolls away from James and stands up* Heal!
*The cut on Aya's leg closes.*
James: Hey! That's magic! Ref, disqualify her!
Ref: *stares at Aya's assets* Uh... I didn't see anything.
James: But-
Aya: Confuse!
James: Aaah! I'm... confused! *hurts himself in confusion*
Aya: *pins James*
Ref: 1! 2!
James: *kicks out* You're so mean! *punches himself* Ow! I'm not getting anywhere!
Michael Cole: It looks like Aya's controlling this match!
Aya: Alright!
*Suddenly, Hulk Hogan's theme plays as Bill floats down to the arena.*
Aya: Bill?
Bill: I'll help you, Aya!
Aya: Bill, I've got this match under control.
Bill: Really?
Aya: Yes...
James: *punches himself*
Aya: See?
Bill: Oh. Well, can I papercut him?
Aya: Um, sure...
Bill: *papercuts James*
James: Aaaah! More pain!
Aya: *pins James*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Bill: Yes!
James: No! *starts pounding the ring in frustration and confusion* No! No! No!
Aya: Alright!
Bill: Hit the music!
*Hulk Hogan's theme plays as Bill starts posing like Hulk Hogan.*
Aya: What are you doing?
Bill: Come on, Aya, join me!
Aya: I'm sorry, Bill, but-
Crowd: *cheers*
Aya: *sighs* Fine. *flexes her muscles once* There.
Bill: You gotta do the thing with the hand and the ear! Like this! *does Hogan's "I can't hear you" motion* See?
Aya: I can't-
Crowd: *cheers*
Aya: Well... okay. *does Hogan's "I can't hear you" motion* Hey, that was fun!
*Bill and Aya start posing like Hulk Hogan as the confused James staggers away from the ring. The PFFA Smackdown! logo appears. Fade to black.*
=======================================
(This episode of PFFA RAW is STILL dedicated to Blade404, even though he didn't die. Welcome back, buddy, and I'm glad to hear you're still alive and kicking!)
*The camera pans into the PFFA Arena as "Move To The Music" plays in the background. Thousands of cheering fans surround the ring.*
Jim Ross: Welcome to PFFA Raw! I'm JR, and I'm here with Jerry "The King" Lawler!
Jerry Lawler: Oh man, it's a great main event as Yugi, the star from Yu-Gi-Oh! battles the mighty Saiyajin Trunks!
Jim Ross: But first, it's Jecht vs. Washu... except for the fact that Washu didn't fill in her entry form completely! (OOC: Misty-Blue, try to submit Washu's entry form as soon as possible.) So, we're switching Washu to the Smackdown! roster temporarily. Instead of Washu facing Jecht, it's going to be the EVIL Pika Chunaki!
Jerry Lawler: Alright! EVIL! INDEED! Wooo!
*Kaientai's theme hits as Pika Chunaki runs down the ramp and into the ring.*
Pika Chunaki: INDEED!
*Jecht's theme hits as Jecht walks down to the ring. He gets into the ring and unsheathes his sword.*
Jecht: I wanted to beat up Washu, but you'll do just fine!
Pika Chunaki: Time for a Thundershock!
*Pika Chunaki fires off a bolt of lightning at Jecht. Jecht leaps into the air, dodging the bolt.*
Jecht: Heh heh heh!
*Jecht holds up a blitzball and hits Pika Chunaki in the head. Then, Jecht lands behind Pika Chunaki.*
Pika Chunaki: Eh?
Jecht: *slashes at Pika Chunaki*
Pika Chunaki: Yikes! *leaps out of the way*
Jecht: Die, you stupid rat! Jecht Beam!
*Jecht fires a beam at Pika Chunaki.*
Pika Chunaki: That'll turn me to stone! *leaps out of the ring*
*Jecht's beam turns the ropes to stone. Pika Chunaki runs around the ring.*
Jecht: Come back here!
Jerry Lawler: Run, Pika! Run!
Jecht: *leaps out of the ring and chases Pika Chunaki*
Pika Chunaki: Okay, time to take you out! *leaps onto the turnbuckle*
Jecht: Wha?
Pika Chunaki: Pikacarana!
*Pika Chunaki leaps on Jecht and calls down a Thunderbolt, knocking him to the ground. Then, he drags Jecht back into the ring and pins him.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jecht: *kicks out*
Pika Chunaki: Hey!
Jecht: *kicks Pika Chunaki into the turnbuckle*
Jim Ross: Alright!
Jecht: *starts pounding Pika Chunaki's head into the turnbuckle*
Pika Chunaki: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Jecht: *tosses Pika Chunaki into the center of the ring and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Pika Chunaki: *kicks out* Time for my ultimate attack!
Jerry Lawler: Alright! The Chunaki Driver!
*Pika Chunaki picks up Jecht.*
Jecht: Hey!
Pika Chunaki: INDEED! *piledrives Jecht and hits him with a huge Thunder attack*
Jerry Lawler: That's it!
Pika Chunaki: *pins Jecht*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jecht: *kicks out*
Jim Ross: Oh my God! Jecht kicked out of the Chunaki Driver!
Pika Chunaki: *picks up Jecht again* I'll try again.
*Pika Chunaki starts to piledrive Jecht again. However, this time, Jecht gets his hands around Pika Chunaki. Jecht flips over and lands on his feet. Then, he tosses Pika Chunaki into the air, leaps up, takes out a blitzball, and slams it into Pika Chunaki.*
Jim Ross: Wow! Jecht reversed the Chunaki Driver with an Ultimate Jecht Shot!
Pika Chunaki: *slams into the canvas* Chuuuu....
Jecht: *pins Pika Chunaki*
Jerry Lawler: Nooo!
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jecht: Yeah! Toss me a beer!
*A beer is tossed to Jecht from the crowd. He climbs up on the turnbuckle and chugs it down.*
Jim Ross: Remember, since Pika Chunaki was switched to Raw, Kyosuke Kagami's new opponent on Smackdown will be Washu.
Jerry Lawler: Bill and Sephiroth throw down next, right after we check what's going on backstage!
*Backstage in Ry's office...*
Ry: *playing with Battlebot toys on his desk* Whoo! Go Diesector! Go!
Mike Ragnal: *walks into Ry's office* Hey.
Ry: Oh, hi, Mike! What seems to be the problem?
Mike Ragnal: None of my roomies have won yet!
Ry: And that's a problem... because?
Mike Ragnal: I haven't had a roomie past the round of 12 in six months!
Ry: Lessee here... so far, the only roomies of yours that have fought are Dagger, Ollie, and Tidus. They're three of your weaker roomies. And-
Mike Ragnal: I wanted to talk to you about Tidus. He was disqualified for doing something that was perfectly legal!
Ry: I saw that match. Yes, what Jessie did to win was low-down, sneaky, and dirty. But Tidus' behavior after the match was immature. He threw a fit in the ring.
Mike Ragnal: I'd throw a fit too if I lost like he did!
Ry: I understand. I'll tell you what. I'll make tonight's main event between Yugi and Trunks a No Disqualifications match. How does that sound?
Mike Ragnal: Wait... Trunks could manhandle Yugi if there weren't any disqualifications!
Ry: Yes, but Yugi could get some help. *wink wink* You know, outside help? *nudge nudge*
Mike Ragnal: Oh... help. *wink wink* You know, I'm starting to like this No Disqualification thing. *leaves*
*In the ring...*
Jim Ross: And we're just getting set for the next match! It's Bill versus Sephiroth!
*"I'm Just a Bill" hits as Bill floats down to the ring. He's given up his Hulk Hogan gimmick.*
Bill: Alright! Wooo! I'm gonna win this thing!
*"One Winged Angel" hits as Sephiroth walks down to the ring to the biggest cheers of the tournament.*
Sephiroth: *takes out his sword* I suggest you surrender *"Bill" sticker lands on Sephiroth's mouth* mmph!
Bill: Don't bother begging for mercy, Sephy! *chucks more stickers at Sephiroth*
Jim Ross: It's a full powered sticker assault by Bill!
Sephiroth: *takes the sticker off his mouth* This is getting annoying! *swings his sticker-covered sword at Bill, doing no damage*
Bill: Mwahaha! Papercut time! *slashes across Sephy's face*
Sephiroth: Aaah! *holds his face* My face! My beautiful bishounen face!
*Bill papercuts Sephiroth's arm.*
Sephiroth: Aaaah! Darn it! *falls to the ground in pain*
Bill: Yay!
Jerry Lawler: Oh man!
Jim Ross: My God, somebody stop the match!
Sephiroth: *gets up* You asked for it! Pale Horse!
*Nothing happens.*
Bill: Mwahaha! Your pathetic status effects do nothing to me! I'm a piece of paper! *tosses more stickers at Sephiroth, blinding him*
Sephiroth: Can't see! *staggers into the turnbuckle and falls over*
Bill: *pins Sephiroth*
Ref: 1! 2!
Sephiroth: *rolls over, pinning Bill*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jerry Lawler: I thought Bill could kick out of that!
Jim Ross: He's just a bill, King.
Sephiroth: *peels the stickers off his face and leaves the ring*
Bill: What happened?
Ref: You lost.
Bill: Already? Man, what a ripoff. *floats away*
*Backstage...*
Aya: Poor Bill. He's too light to kick out.
Vegeta: Serves that fool right!
Myuu: *laughs* Hey Veggie-boy, remember when you had the Hardcore title? And you don't have it anymore? *laughs again*
Vegeta: Die! *chases Myuu*
Myuu: Aaaah! *runs away*
Vegeta: Come back here!
*In Ami's locker room...*
Ami: *sits down* Trunks, I'm scared.
Trunks: Why? No one's come in here to get your title yet.
Ami: You're probably right... but I'm still worried. I have a Hardcore title match with Tasuki next.
Trunks: *laughs* Tasuki? *laughs some more*
Ami: He did win the second tournament. He's tough.
Trunks: I'm confident you can beat him. Besides, your match isn't until after this next match between Kane and Sakura.
*In the ring...*
*Kane's WWE theme hits as Kane the Haunter floats down to the ring. He waves to the crowd with his creepy purple hand.*
Kane: Haunt haunt haunt! (Hi everyone!)
*Suddenly, "Never Gonna Stop Me" hits as Sakura runs down to the ring. She slides in and shakes Kane's hand.*
Jim Ross: These two are very friendly!
Jerry Lawler: Well of course, JR! They live together! Hey, did you see Sakura's puppies, JR?
Jim Ross: No, I don't usually spend the time that I should spend ANNOUNCING looking at women's chests, King. You should be ANNOUNCING.
Jerry Lawler: I am, JR!
Jim Ross: You're what, King?
Kane: Haunt haunt! (Shadow Ball!)
*Kane begins channeling his energy. He collects it into a ball and fires it at Sakura.*
Sakura: Hadoken! *fires an energy ball of her own*
*The two energy balls collide and explode, causing an explosion.*
Jim Ross: Whoa!
Sakura: *punches at Kane*
Kane: Haunt haunt! (You should know that punches don't work on me! Confusion!)
Sakura: *begins staggering around, confused* Unnh...
Kane: *knocks Sakura down and pins her*
Ref: 1! 2!
Sakura: *kicks out* Not yet! Shinkuu Hadouken!
*Sakura extends her hands and fires off multiple fireballs at Kane. Kane is hit by all of them.*
Kane: Ack!
*The smoldering Kane falls to the ground. Sakura pins him.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Kane: *kicks out* Haunt haunt! *licks Sakura*
Sakura: Ack! *falls to the ground, paralyzed*
Kane: *pins Sakura*
Ref: 1! 2!
Sakura: *kicks out*
Jerry Lawler: Alright!
Kane: Haunt haunt haunt! (How did you kick out? You were paralyzed!)
Sakura: Because I use mind over matter, Kane!
Kane: Haunt haunt! (Wow, you were trained well!)
Sakura: Shinkuu Hadouken!
*Sakura tosses another fireball at Kane. This time, Kane catches it. He hurls it back. Sakura ducks under it.*
Sakura: It's Super Sakura time!
*Sakura swells up with power.*
Super Sakura: Alright!
*Sakura begins firing off more Hadoukens at Kane. Kane gets pelted by the Hadoukens.*
Kane: Aaaah! *falls to the ground*
Super Sakura: *runs in to pin Kane*
Kane: *grabs Sakura by the neck and stands up*
Super Sakura: Ack!
Jim Ross: Alright! It's the Chokeslam from Hell!
Jerry Lawler: Noooo! Not that!
*Kane lifts Sakura into the air and slams her into the canvas.*
Kane: Haunt! (Take that!) *pins Sakura*
Ref: 1! 2!
Super Sakura: *kicks out*
Jim Ross: What? She kicked out of the Chokeslam from Hell!
Super Sakura: *stands up and teleports behind Kane, then starts Hadoukening him*
Jim Ross: Hey, is that the Raging Sakura Attack? She has to punch him to do that!
Jerry Lawler: No, she can blast him if punches don't work!
Super Sakura: *continues Hadoukening Kane*
Kane: Haunt haunt! (I can't take it anymore!) *taps out*
Ref: Sakura wins!
Jerry Lawler: Alright! The hottie wins!
Jim Ross: Aw man...
*Backstage...*
Voice: And I'll give you all the sake you want if you let me in that Hardcore match. *drops a crate of sake onto Tasuki's desk*
Tasuki: All that sake... I'll do it!
*The mysterious man reveals himself to be The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster.*
TTPCBDM: Excellent.
*In the ring...*
Ami: *stands in the ring* Where's Tasuki?
TTPCBDM: *floats into the ring* Hello there, Ami.
Ami: You! What did you do with Tasuki?
TTPCBDM: I bribed him.
Jim Ross: You sick, sad*stic, thieving, bribing, evil monster!
Ami: *transforms into Sailor Mercury* Don't touch me!
TTPCBDM: *laughs* Ami, why do you love Trunks?
Sailor Mercury: Shine Aqua Illusion!
*A large layer of frost accumulates on The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster.*
TTPCBDM: *laughs* Ami, Ami, Ami, I'm glad that you want to cool me off on this hot day, but I'm already cold enough. *grabs Ami*
Sailor Mercury: Aaaah!
TTPCBDM: Don't you want to get married?
Sailor Mercury: Aaaah!
Trunks: Stop right there! *runs into the ring with a sledgehammer*
TTPCBDM: *kicks Trunks down*
Trunks: Ooof! *lands on top of Ami*
Sailor Mercury: Trunks?
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jim Ross: Wow... Trunks is the new Hardcore champ!
TTPCBDM: Darn it! *grabs Trunks* You'll pay!
Tetsuo: *runs into the ring*
TTPCBDM: You! *chases Tetsuo backstage*
Trunks: Unnnh...
Sailor Mercury: Well, I might as well. *pins Trunks*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jim Ross: And just like that, Sailor Mercury regains the Hardcore title!
Trunks: *stands up* Aw... I liked that title.
Sailor Mercury: Don't worry, Trunks! You had it for a little bit!
*Trunks and Ami leave. Meanwhile, backstage...*
TTPCBDM: *looks around* Okay, Tetsuo... you can't hide from me!
Coach: *walks up to TTPCBDM* Hello there, can I have an interview?
TTPCBDM: Sure, Coach.
Coach: Okay-
TTPCBDM: If you dance for me.
Coach: What?
TTPCBDM: The Safety Dance.
Coach: But-
TTPCBDM: DANCE, COACH, DANCE!
Coach: *does the Safety Dance*
*Back in the ring, the Yugioh theme hits as Yugi strolls down to the ring, carrying his deck of cards. A Yu-Gi-Oh! playing field is set up in the ring. Yugi sets his cards down in his play area and waits.*
Yugi: Soon, the game will begin.
*As soon as Yugi says those words, "The Game" hits as Trunks walks down to the ring, carrying a water bottle. He drinks the water and spits it into the air, Triple H style. Then, he walks up to the other podium in the play area.*
Trunks: Let's begin.
Yugi: *looks down at his podium* Trunks' Attack and Defense are listed at... 15,000,000,000 each?
Trunks: *laughs* I really recommend you don't play Yu-Gi-Oh with me.
Yugi: I'll play the Dark Magician against him!
*Yugi tosses down his card and the Dark Magician appears in the play area.*
Yugi: Now, my first attack-
*But before Yugi can declare his attack, Trunks raises his finger and fires a small energy beam, disintegrating the Dark Magician.*
Yugi: Hey!
Trunks: This isn't a card game!
*Yugi's life points go down to 1500.*
Jim Ross: It looks like Trunks doesn't want to play Duel Cards with Yugi!
Trunks: You hit the nail on the head, JR. *grabs Yugi by the neck*
Yugi: Aaaah!
Cruton: *walks into the ring, smacks Trunks with a chair, and runs off*
Trunks: *falls to the ground* Unnh...
Jim Ross: Hey! Cruton can't do that to Trunks!
Jerry Lawler: This is a No Disqualifications match, JR. Anything goes!
Yugi: *pins Trunks*
Ref: 1! 2!
Trunks: *kicks out* Grrr...
Yugi: Aaah! *steps back* Fissure!
*A large crack appears in the ring. Trunks trips over it and falls to the canvas.*
Yugi: I'll take this opportunity to play my next creature! Gaia, the Fierce Knight! Emerge!
Gaia: *emerges from the crack*
Trunks: *gets up* Another pathetic card creature?
Gaia: *knocks Trunks to the ground*
Yugi: *quickly pins Trunks*
Ref: 1! 2!
Trunks: *kicks out* You just don't get it, do you? *destroys Gaia with a ki blast* That does it! *knocks Yugi down and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Ayeka: *kicks Trunks off of Yugi* Don't pin him, you pesky person!
Zell: *runs into the ring and punches Trunks in the face*
Trunks: What's the deal?
*Zell and Ayeka run off.*
Trunks: I don't get-
Vegetto: *kicks Trunks to the ground*
Yugi: *pins Trunks*
Ref: 1! 2!
Trunks: Argh! *tosses Yugi off of him*
Vegetto: Eh?
*In a fit of rage, Trunks grabs Vegetto and drop kicks him back up the ramp.*
Trunks: NO MORE INTERFERENCES! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS STUPID MATCH! WHY CAN'T I JUST FIGHT WITHOUT A BUNCH OF ROOMIES TRYING TO KILL ME?
Jim Ross: Yeah! Let Trunks fight!
Jerry Lawler: Aw, Trunks is too powerful, JR! Yugi's just getting some help from his friends! What's wrong with that!
Trunks: *chokeslams Yugi, then pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Gogeta: *grabs Trunks*
Trunks: NO!
Gogeta: *slams Trunks into the turnbuckle*
Trunks: Ooof! *slides into the middle of the canvas*
Gogeta: *leaps onto the announce table and grabs a folding chair, then leaps back into the ring*
Jim Ross: Oh no!
Gogeta: *begins beating Trunks viciously with the chair*
Jim Ross: Oh mah gawd! Oh mah gawd! Somebody stop the match! This is sick! That sad*stic Gogeta! Oh mah gawd! Somebody stop the match!
Gogeta: *stomps on Trunks repeatedly*
Trunks: *is out cold*
Gogeta: Pin him, Yugi!
*Gogeta walks backstage to huge boos from the crowd. Yugi crawls on top of Trunks.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Trunks: *barely gets his foot up on the rope*
Ref: 3!
Jerry Lawler: Yaaaaay!
Jim Ross: Oh mah gawd! I don't believe it! Yugi beat Trunks! What an upset!
Jerry Lawler: *marks out for Yugi*
Yugi: *gets up* Alright!
Ref: Wait! *points at Trunks' foot* It was on the rope!
Yugi: Hey! *gets up in the ref's face and starts arguing*
Trunks: *gets up* Huh?
Jerry Lawler: Wait, this is a No Disqualifications match! You can't put your foot on the rope to end a count!
Jim Ross: You're thinking of a Hardcore match, King.
Trunks: *slams Yugi to the ground*
Yugi: Aaaah!
Trunks: *pins Yugi*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jim Ross: Trunks wins! No foot on the rope that time!
Jerry Lawler: Yugi was robbed!
Trunks: *celebrates in the ring*
*The PFFA RAW logo appears. Fade to black.*
=======================================
*The PFFA Smackdown! theme song plays as the camera pans into the wrestling ring.*
Michael Cole: Well, we're all set for a great episode of PFFA Smackdown!
Tazz: That's right, Cole! We've got an awesome main event!
Michael Cole: It's going to be the mighty Saiyan warriors, Gogeta and Vegetto, squaring off in a lumberjack match!
Tazz: And guess who the lumberjacks are, Cole?
Michael Cole: Who?
Tazz: It's a team of twenty DBZ villains! We've got Buu, Babidi, Cell, Janemba, Hiredugarn, Frieza, King Cold, Juunanigou, Juuhachigou, Juukyuugou, Nijuugou, Captain Ginyu, Jeice, Berter, Recoome, Guldo, Zarbon, Dodoria, Nappa, and Raditz! They'll be eager and waiting to tear the two Saiyans apart if they leave the ring!
Michael Cole: But first, it's going to be Kyosuke Kagami going one-on-one with Washu!
Tazz: However, we have a situation backstage! Let's see what's going on!
*Backstage, in Ry's locker room...*
Ry's Avatar: But she hasn't submitted an entry form for Washu yet!
Ry: I've got a tournament to run. Look, you've watched Tenchi Muyo, you know what Washu can do!
Ry's Avatar: If I get one thing wrong, I'll be eaten alive!
Ry: That's not my problem. Go write the fight.
Ry's Avatar: *sighs, then disappears*
*Back in the ring...*
Michael Cole: And the fight is beginning!
*Billy Kidman's theme plays as Kyosuke walks down to the ring. He steps inside and poses for the crowd.*
Kyosuke: Hi, everyone!
*Washu walks down to the ring. She waves to the crowd.*
Washu: Hiiii!
Kyosuke: You must be Washu.
Washu: Yes, but you can call me Little Washu!
Kyosuke: Little Washu? Well, okay...
Washu: *hands Kyosuke a small box* Hold this for me, k?
Kyosuke: This is a fight, Little Washu! We have to-
*The box explodes, showering Kyosuke with shrapnel.*
Michael Cole: What a dirty trick by Washu!
Washu: *makes a "V for Victory" sign*
*When the smoke clears, Kyosuke is standing in a small crater, covered with soot.*
Kyosuke: *coughs* That hurt!
*Kyosuke's fist begins pulsing with electricity. He slams in into the right side of Washu's face. Washu recoils.*
Washu: Shocking! But I have something for you!
*Washu takes out her computer and begins typing.*
Kyosuke: What are you doing?
Washu: You'll see!
*Suddenly, Kyosuke's fists turn into blocks of stone. They crash to the canvas.*
Kyosuke: *struggles to pick up his fists* What did you do? My fists are blocks of stone!
Washu: You like?
Kyosuke: No, I don't like! I can barely move!
*With great effort, Kyosuke manages to pick up one of his stone-block fists and slam it into Washu's face. Washu crashes to the ground, out cold. Kyosuke's fist slams to the canvas.*
Tazz: That had to hurt!
Michael Cole: Now he has to get over and pin her!
*Kyosuke lumbers over to Washu and falls on top of her.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Washu: *kicks out*
Michael Cole: Kyosuke took so long to pin her that she was able to wake up before the three count!
Kyosuke: Crap!
Washu: *takes out a fan and smacks Kyosuke over to the turnbuckle*
*Kyosuke flies through the air and slams into the corner turnbuckle, falling against it. Washu walks over to him and starts punching him.*
Washu: Take this!
Tazz: Oooh, Kyosuke's fists are still blocks of stone! He can't defend himself!
Kyosuke: Time to use something besides my fists!
*Kyosuke raises his knees and begins slamming them into Washu's stomach. He tosses Washu off of him using his legs, then falls on top of her, pinning her again.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Washu: *kicks out*
Michael Cole: And Washu kicks out of the Gen'ei Knee!
Tazz: So close!
*Washu sweeps her leg under Kyosuke, knocking him to the canvas. She turns him over and pins him.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Kyosuke: *kicks out* Grrr... no more Mr. Nice Guy!
*With a burst of strength, Kyosuke picks up his stone arms and holds them high above his head.*
Washu: Wow, you're strong! But what about this? *takes out her computer and starts typing some more*
Kyosuke: That won't help-
*Kyosuke's head changes to that of a beaver's.*
Kyosuke: Aaaah! My head is a beaver's head!
Washu: *laughs*
Kyosuke: It's not funny!
Michael Cole: He's got a beaver's tail too!
Kyosuke: *smacks Washu with his beaver tail*
Washu: Hey!
*Kyosuke swings one of his stone arms at Washu, sending her crashing into the turnbuckle. Then, he climbs up on the turnbuckle and gives Washu a Gen'ei Toss to the canvas.*
Kyosuke: Alright! *pins Washu*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Kyosuke: Yes! *arms and head change back to normal*
Tazz: Wow, that kid's got heart, Cole! Even with stone arms and a beaver's head, he still managed to beat the great Washu! It reminds me of the time that I got into the cage with 3 members of DX. It was just me and them, and I-
Michael Cole: That's nice, Tazz. Anyway, there's something going on backstage.
Tazz: Don't you wanna hear about-
Michael Cole: No.
*Backstage, in Sailor Mercury's locker room...*
Trunks: Oh man, I gotta go really bad.
Ami: Then just go.
Trunks: But I don't want to leave you here...
Ami: Just go, Trunks. I'll be fine.
Trunks: Well, okay...
*Trunks leaves the room.*
Ami: *sits down*
Tetsuo: *rolls out from under the bed* Hello there.
Ami: Aaaaah!
Tetsuo: I want that title! *grabs Ami*
*Meanwhile...*
Trunks: *walking out of the bathroom* I'd better get back to Ami.
Alita: *walks up to Trunks* Hey, you're Trunks, right?
Trunks: Yeah...
Alita: Oh man, you'd better get back to-
Trunks: Hey, you're Alita, aren't you? You're in the next match, right?
Alita: Uh-huh. It's a bra and panties match.
Trunks: What?
Alita: First one in the ring wearing only their bra and panties is the loser.
Trunks: Oh... keep your clothes on, win the match.
Alita: Yeah. It should be easy, seeing as how Faye's just a human, and I'm a nanotech cyborg.
Trunks: Now, what were you trying to tell me?
Alita: I saw Tetsuo coming out of your wife's locker room. He had the Hardcore title belt on, and-
Trunks: WHAT? Oh my God, Ami's in trouble! *runs back to Ami's locker room*
*Meanwhile, in the ring...*
Tazz: Wow, this'll be great! It's a bra and panties match between Faye and Alita!
*"Legs" starts playing as Faye walks down to the ring, wearing her regular clothes.*
Faye: *takes out her gun* I'll need this...*
*Alita walks down to the ring in silence. She climbs into the ring.*
Alita: This match will be quick.
Faye: No it won't!
Alita: Yes, it will.
*Alita takes out her Damascus sword, and with one quick slash, slices off Faye's red jacket and orange top, revealing Faye's bra.*
Faye: Whoa!
Tazz: Whoa is right! Whoo-hoo!
Faye: Why you-
*Alita takes the Damascus and slices off Faye's pants, leaving Faye standing in the ring in only her underwear.*
Alita: Bra and panties. I win.
Tazz: That was the quickest match I've ever seen! And the best!
Michael Cole: Never challenge a robot to a bra and panties match, that's what I always say.
Faye: Aw man... I'm already out of the tournament... *whimpers*
*Meanwhile, backstage...*
Trunks: *bursts into Ami's locker room* Ami!
*Ami is lying in a pool of her own blood, unconscious. Trunks picks her up.*
Ami: Tetsuo... came... Tetsuo... *passes out*
Trunks: That son of a-
*The scene changes to the ring where Duplica is walking up the ramp and into the ring. She takes out her two Pokeballs.*
Duplica: Ditto! Mini-Dit! Go!
*Duplica tosses the balls to the ground, and the two Pokemon come out.*
Duplica: This battle's gonna be tough!
*Suddenly, Tetsuo's sinister sounding theme hits as he walks down to the ring, wearing the Hardcore title around his waist.*
Tetsuo: *laughs* I'm fighting a pathetic little girl. Well, this should be fun AND easy.
*Tetsuo steps into the ring.*
Michael Cole: That sinister Tetsuo already beat the crap out of Ami! Now he's going after Duplica too?
Duplica: Ditto, Mini-Dit, change into this guy!
*The two Dittos obey, taking the form of Tetsuo. However, Mini-Dit looks like a Chibi Tetsuo.*
Tetsuo: Wow, two of me. Well, maybe just one and a half of me. *laughs*
Duplica: Ditto, Mini-Dit, use the Gravity Control attack on him!
*Tetsuo is immediately weighed down by the heavy gravity.*
Tetsuo: Wha?
Duplica: These two Dittos can copy all of your powers!
Tetsuo: Grrr...
*Suddenly, Tetsuo's body flashes. He emaninates a deep purple glow. The two Dittos raise into the air and immediately de-transform.*
Duplica: No!
Tetsuo: Mwahaha! Now they die!
*Ditto and Mini-Dit explode into tiny pieces. The Ditto chunks fly into the crowd.*
Duplica: You killed them! You.... you big meanie!
Tetsuo: Now I'll have some fun with you!
Tetsuo: *runs at Duplica and knocks her to the ground*
Michael Cole: That sick, sad*stic Tetsuo!
Tetsuo: *starts stomping on Duplica*
Duplica: Aaaah! It hurts! Stop hurting me!
Tetsuo: Mwahaha! *kicks Duplica into the turnbuckle*
Tazz: What a sicko!
*Four large, psychic needles appear above Duplica. They crash down on her, pinning her arms and legs to the canvas.*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Michael Cole: That sick, sad*stic Tetsuo!
Tetsuo: *walks up to Duplica* Well, now I'll finish you off. But don't worry, I'll make it slow.
Duplica: *starts crying in fear*
Tetsuo: Mwahaha!
*Suddenly, "The Game" begins playing over the PA System.*
Tetsuo: What? Who's that?
*A VERY angry looking Trunks walks down to the ring, carrying a large sledgehammer.*
Michael Cole: Oh my God! Trunks has gone off the edge!
Tetsuo: Heh heh... nothing I can't handle.
*Tetsuo begins glowing with psychic energy. Trunks' fist slams into his face, breaking his concentration.*
Trunks: Die!
*Trunks picks up Tetsuo and carries him over to the announce table. He slams the psychic through the table, which shatters in two.*
Trunks: Take that, fiend!
Tetsuo: *starts running from the ring*
Trunks: Get back here! *chases after Tetsuo* Nobody hurts Ami!
*The psychic needles pinning Duplica disappear.*
Duplica: Whew... that was a close one... but... my Dittos are dead! *starts crying*
*Backstage...*
Tetsuo: *running through the halls* I don't understand! His anger must be repelling my psychic powers!
Trunks: *chases Tetsuo* I'll kill you for what you did to Ami!
*But suddenly, the large crowd of DBZ villains walks in front of Trunks.*
Trunks: Outta my way!
Cell: Hey Trunks, outta our way! We've got to get down to the ring for the Lumberjack match!
Trunks: He's getting away!
Cell: Who's getting away?
*Tetsuo runs out into the parking lot and gets into a waiting limo. The limo drives off.*
Trunks: Tetsuo got away! Darn it!
*Back in the ring...*
*"American Badass" (Hey Mike, I said no bad words in the song titles... >_<) hits as Gogeta walks down to the ring.*
Gogeta: *tosses punches* I've always been tougher than Vegetto!
*Pikkon's theme hits as Vegetto walks down to the ring. He climbs in.*
Vegetto: Well well, Gogeta, nice to see you.
Gogeta: Nice to see you too, brother.
*"Hit The Road, Jack" starts playing as the twenty DBZ lumberjacks walk down to the ring and surround it.*
Buu: Buu mad! Buu want eat!
Gogeta: Uh...
Vegetto: Wow, all those villains...
Gogeta: They're weak! Don't worry about them!
*Gogeta fires a small beam at Vegetto, paralyzing him.*
Vegetto: I can't move!
Gogeta: *knocks Vegetto down and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Vegetto: *kicks out, then kicks Gogeta into the turnbuckle*
Gogeta: *smacks against the turnbuckle* Ow!
Frieza: *grabs Gogeta from outside of the ring and starts choking him*
Gogeta: Hey! *tosses Frieza into the ring*
Frieza: Aaah!
Vegetto: *blasts Frieza into oblivion*
Michael Cole: And there goes one of the lumberjacks!
Gogeta: *kicks Vegetto into the ropes*
Juukyuugou: *grabs Vegetto* I will absorb your energy!
Nijuugou: *grabs Vegetto* Lemme get a piece of that action!
Vegetto: *turns around and blasts the two androids into oblivion*
*Gogeta runs up to Vegetto and kicks him over the top rope. Vegetto flies into a crowd of lumberjacks.*
Michael Cole: And they're mobbing him!
Jeice: Take this! *stomps on Vegetto*
Hiredugarn: *bites off Vegetto's ear*
Vegetto: Aaaah!
*Vegetto fires ki blasts all around, killing Jeice, Burter, King Cold, Guldo, Recoome, Nappa, Raditz, and Juunanigou.*
Tazz: And there's only nine lumberjacks left!
Juuhachigou: Eight lumberjacks. I'm going back to FG's cell. *leaves*
Gogeta: *hops out of the ring and tosses Dodoria out of the arena* Vegetto, need any help?
Vegetto: *blasts Zarbon into oblivion* Nope!
Michael Cole: Only six lumberjacks left! Buu, Cell, Janenba, Hiredugarn, Captain Ginyu, and Babidi!
Babidi: Kill them, Buu! Kill them!
*Gogeta and Vegetto climb back into the ring.*
Gogeta: Let's start again!
Vegetto: Okay!
*Gogeta and Vegetto lunge at each other and start throwing punches. Eventually, they are knocked back against the ropes.*
Buu: *pulls Gogeta out of the ring*
Janemba: *pulls Vegetto out of the ring*
Michael Cole: I'm starting to think that it was a mistake on Ry's part to hire DBZ villains as lumberjacks, Tazz.
Janemba: *stomps on Vegetto*
Captain Ginyu: This is my big chance! Change now!
Vegetto: WHAT? *is bodysnatched by Captain Ginyu*
Captain Ginyu: *now in Vegetto's body* Mwahaha!
Gogeta: Vegetto! You got bodysnatched! *kicks Hiredugarn out of the arena*
Captain Ginyu: That's right! Mwaha-
Buu: *absorbs Ginyu* Die, Vegetto!
Vegetto: My original body! Nooo! Oh well, I guess I can get used to this one...
Buu: Buu want eat! *eats Cell and Janemba* Mmmm!
Babidi: Mwahaha, Buu! Now eat the others!
Gogeta: No way! *blasts Babidi into oblivion* Now it's just you and me, Buu!
Buu: Turn into a cookie!
Gogeta: *leaps out of the way of the beam and kicks Buu into the ring*
Buu: Aaah!
Gogeta: Hey Vegetto, help me out here!
Vegetto: A-hem, brother, but I'm in Captain Ginyu's body right now. I'm a lot weaker then you.
Gogeta: What? *grabs Vegetto and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Vegetto: No! Darn it! Darn it!
Gogeta: I win!
Buu: Aw, match over... Me still hungry! *leaves*
Michael Cole: A very weird end to a very weird lumberjack match, Tazz.
Tazz: You got that right. Gogeta pulls off the win.
Michael Cole: With some help from our special guest lumberjacks.
*Back in Ami's locker room, Ami is in a rejuvenation tank.*
Trunks: Don't worry, Ami, you'll be all better soon... which is more than I can say for Tetsuo when I get my hands on him!
*In The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster's locker room...*
TTPCBDM: *staring at his Ami shrine* Ami, Tetsuo will pay for what he did to you!
*The PFFA Smackdown! logo appears. Fade to black.*
=======================================
*The PFFA RAW theme song plays as the camera pans into the PFFA Arena's wrestling ring.*
Jim Ross: Hello there, and welcome to the first PFFA RAW of July!
Jerry Lawler: Isn't it great, JR?
Jim Ross: We've got a heck of a main event for you. It's a duel between the drunk space pirate, Tasuki, and the mecha using little girl, Magical Mecha Pilot Cute Cathy!
Jerry Lawler: Whoohoo! But first, there's going to be a TLC match between Ryogo and Cloak!
Jim Ross: The two wrestlers will be going for a ticket suspended high above the ring! That ticket represents a pass to round two!
*"Tank" hits as Ryogo Kasama walks down to the ring. He sets the ladder up in the ring.*
Ryogo: Okay, Cloak, get down here!
*Undertaker's theme hits as Cloak walks down to the ring.*
Cloak: Let's get this started.
Ryogo: Alright! *leaps up and kicks Cloak to the ground*
Cloak: Ooof!
Ryogo: *hops out of the ring and grabs a table*
Jim Ross: What's he gonna do with that table?
Ryogo: *sets up the table next to the ring*
*In a show of bravado, Cloak leaps out of the ring and kicks Ryogo. Cloak crashes through the table, and Ryogo's head smacks into another table.*
Jim Ross: A high-risk table manuever by Cloak! And the kid's hurt!
Ryogo: *staggers over to Cloak, picks him up, and slams him through another table*
Jerry Lawler: Oooh! Poor Cloak!
Cloak: Unnh... *staggers to his feet*
Ryogo: Take this!
*Ryogo, taking advantage of Cloak's dizziness, picks up a folding chair and smacks it across Cloak's head. The weary Cloak falls to the ground.*
Ryogo: Yes!
Jim Ross: Cloak is out cold!
*Ryogo climbs into the ring and begins to ascend the ladder.*
Jim Ross: Ryogo could win this match!
*Cloak limps into the ring. Just before Ryogo can get to the top of the ladder, Cloak kicks the ladder down, sending Ryogo plumetting to the canvas.*
Jim Ross: Oh mah gawd! Ryogo must have fallen 15 feet!
Jerry Lawler: At least, JR!
Cloak: *covers Ryogo with his cloak*
Ryogo: Oooh... *starts shivering*
Jim Ross: Wha?
*Ryogo begins foaming at the mouth.*
Jim Ross: He's got rabies! This is sick! Just sick!
Cloak: *spins around and kicks the rabid Ryogo out of the ring*
Ryogo: Argh!
*The airborne Ryogo crashes through a table that had been set up. Cloak sets up the ladder and begins climbing it.*
Jim Ross: And Cloak is now ascending to the top!
Ryogo: Raarr! *leaps at the ladder*
*The ladder plummets to the ground as Ryogo rabidly dives into it. Cloak falls with it. In a rabid rage, Ryogo leaps upon Cloak.*
Ryogo: *snarls*
Cloak: Aaah! *tries to crawl away*
Jim Ross; Mah gawd! Mah gawd! Somebody get Animal Control out here! Stop the match! Stop the match! For God's sake, stop the dang match!
*Ryogo claws at Cloak. Finally, Cloak rolls out of the ring.*
Cloak: Gotta find a chair!
*Cloak grabs a folding chair to defend himself just as the rabid Ryogo comes after him. Cloak smacks the chair over Ryogo's head, knocking him out cold.*
Cloak: Whew!
*Cloak climbs into the ring and sets up the ladder. He quickly climbs it.*
Ryogo: *stands up*
Cloak: Aaah!
*Cloak climbs the ladder and reaches the top. He grabs the tickets just as Ryogo knocks over the ladder.*
Cloak: *clutches the tickets* Got 'em!
Ryogo: *dives upon Cloak* Rarr!
Jim Ross: Get Ryogo off of him! This match is over! Darn it, this match is over!
*Ryogo continues clawing and biting at Cloak.*
Jim Ross: We'll be right back after this!
*Backstage...*
Trunks: So, Ami, are you ready for your match?
Ami: Yes...
Trunks: Ami, I was so scared when Tetsuo attacked you on Smackdown. I'm so glad you were able to make a full recovery.
Ami: It was terrible... that vicious, sad*stic person...
Trunks: It's okay, now. Just beat Yuna, okay? *kisses Ami*
*Meanwhile...*
Yuna: Tidus, I'm ready for this match!
Tidus: Alright, Yuna! You can win!
Yuna: Yes!
Tetsuo: *walks up to Yuna*
Tidus: Hey! You're the freak that attacked Ami on Smackdown!
Tetsuo: *laughs* I sure laid the smackdown on her. *laughs some more*
Yuna: It's not funny!
Tetsuo: Ami's real weak. You oughta be able to beat her easily. I-
Ryogo: *leaps on top of Tetsuo*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Ryogo: *grabs the Hardcore belt and starts drooling on it*
Tetsuo: What the-
Ryogo: *bites Tetsuo's hand*
Tetsuo: Aaah! I'm gonna have rabies! That mangy person stole my Hardcore title! I'm gonna get you!
Ryogo: *leaps off on all fours*
Tetsuo: Come back here, you wild man! *chases Ryogo*
*Back in the ring...*
*Sailor Mercury's theme hits as Ami Mizuno walks to the ring, already transformed into Sailor Mercury.*
Sailor Mercury: I'll win this battle in the name of Mercury!
*"Tomorrow Comes Today" hits as Yuna walks down to the ring. She steps into the ring and offers Mercury a handshake.*
Yuna: Good luck.
Sailor Mercury: You too. *shakes Yuna's hand*
Jerry Lawler: Less handshaking, more puppies!
Jim Ross: You're sick, King. Mercury's already married, and Yuna's got a boyfriend already.
Jerry Lawler: So?
Yuna: *smacks Ami over the head with her Nirvana rod*
Sailor Mercury: *clutches her head* Aaah!
Yuna: Holy!
*Several orbs of light energy surround Ami and converge upon her, exploding. Ami is bathed with holy energy. She flies back into the ropes.*
Sailor Mercury: That really hurt! Take this! Shine Aqua Illusion!
*A large wave of water and ice splashes over Yuna, throwing her back.*
Yuna: So... c-c-cold...
Sailor Mercury: *kicks Yuna into the turnbuckle*
Yuna: Aaah!
Sailor Mercury: Mercury Bubbles Blast!
*A large stream of bubbles is fired at Yuna, surrounding the ring in fog.*
Yuna: I can't see! I-
*Suddenly, Yuna is caught from behind by Ami, who gives Yuna a DDT, slamming her into the canvas.*
Sailor Mercury: *rolls Yuna over and pins her*
Ref: 1! 2!
Yuna: *kicks out*
Jim Ross: I didn't know Ami could do a DDT!
Jerry Lawler: You ever played the Sailor Moon fighting game, JR?
Jim Ross: No, can't say that I have.
Jerry Lawler: You should!
Jim Ross: I'm a married man, King.
Yuna: Time to call in a GF! Ixion, come out!
*The ring grows dark as Ixion walks down the ramp and into the ring.*
Sailor Mercury: Is that a summon?
Yuna: Yes, it is! Ixion, use the Thor's Hammer!
*Ixion begins glowing. Suddenly, Ami is picked up into the air.*
Sailor Mercury: Aaaah!
*Ami's body is zapped with electricity from all directions. Her fried body drops into the ring.*
Yuna: *pins Ami*
Ref: 1! 2!
Sailor Mercury: *kicks out*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd! How did she kick out of that?
Sailor Mercury: Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!
*The freezing ice-water notes hit Yuna and Ixion like a freight train. Ixion disappears, and Yuna falls to the ground, shivering.*
Sailor Mercury: *pins Yuna*
Ref: 1! 2!
Yuna: *kicks out* Time for the heavy artillery! Magus Sisters, come forth!
*The ring grows bright. Three insect-like girls float into the ring.*
Sailor Mercury: Wha?
*The tiny sister, Mindy, turns around and fires several stingers at Ami. Ami is immediately floored by the stingers.*
Sailor Mercury: *hits the ground, bleeding*
Yuna: *pins Ami*
Ref: 1! 2!
Sailor Mercury: *kicks out just before the 3-count*
Jim Ross: I don't believe it! Sailor Mercury has some heart!
Sailor Mercury: *rolls over* Aaaah...
Cindy: *picks up Ami*
Jim Ross: What's she doing?
Cindy: *leans Ami against the turnbuckle*
Jim Ross: Oh mah gawd! Not the Stink Face!
Cindy: *starts backing up toward Ami*
Jim Ross: This is sick!
Cindy: *gives Ami the Stink Face*
Jim Ross: Oh mah gawd!
Yuna: Uh... that was kinda uncalled for.
Cindy: So? *drags Ami into the middle of the ring*
Sailor Mercury: Unnh...
Yuna: *pins Ami*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jim Ross: And Yuna gets the upset here!
*The Magus Sisters all put on hats and start a Rikishi-like hip-hop dance in the ring.*
Yuna: Sorry, Ami...
*Backstage...*
Trunks: That fat slob wiped her rear end in Ami's face! I'll kill her! Then I'll kill Tetsuo! I'll kill both of them!
*Elsewhere...*
Lina Inverse: *throws a few practice punches* Hee hee, I'm facing Samurai Jack.
Sephiroth: Now, Lina, remember to try not to freak out the samurai with your flat chest.
Lina Inverse: What do you mean by that?
Sephiroth: Nothing...
*In the ring...*
*Samurai Jack's theme hits as the samurai walks down to the ring.*
Samurai Jack: *unsheathes his sword*
*"Exit Running" hits. Lina Inverse walks out to the ring, getting cheers from the crowd.*
Jerry Lawler: Hey, no puppies! That girl has no puppies, JR! She's a freak of nature!
Jim Ross: She has a nice face, King.
Jerry Lawler: So?
Jim Ross: *sighs* There's just no reasoning with you, King.
Lina Inverse: Okay, Jack, you're going down!
Samurai Jack: We'll see about that.
*In a flash of speed, Samurai Jack lunges at Lina. He slashes at her midsection, only to be parried by Lina unsheathing her dagger and putting it between herself and Jack's sword.*
Lina Inverse: You think you're real fast, don't you? I-
Samurai Jack: *quickly slashes at Lina's arm*
Lina Inverse: Aaah! *holds a small cut that Jack made on her arm* That hurt!
Samurai Jack: *quickly spins around and kicks Lina into the ropes*
Lina Inverse: Yikes!
*Lina quickly spins around and fires three quick fireballs at Samurai Jack. Jack swings his sword, deflecting all three back at Lina. Lina sidesteps the deflected fireballs and makes a quick lunge at Jack with her dagger, sideswiping his leg.*
Samurai Jack: Unnh! *kneels down for a split-second, then gets back up* You're a lot faster than I thought.
Lina Inverse: Of course I'm fast, silly! I-
Samurai Jack: *slashes Lina across the arm*
Lina Inverse: Ow! Hey! Gimme a chance to respond to what you say, buddy!
Samurai Jack: Talking has no place in battle.
Lina Inverse: ARGH! You were talking to me! You're just a big hypocrite!
*Lina swings forward and gives Samurai Jack a hard punch in the stomach. The samurai doubles over.*
Samurai Jack: What... was that... for?
Lina Inverse: For making me mad! *kicks Samurai Jack onto his back, then pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Samurai Jack: *kicks out* I shall not be defeated that easily!
*Samurai Jack attacks Lina with two quick slashes, opening two small cuts on her face.*
Lina Inverse: Ow! You messed up my face!
*Lina Inverse starts jumping up and down.*
Jerry Lawler: She's throwing a fit!
Lina Inverse: I'll kill you! Explosion Array!
*Lina Inverse fires off the explosive spell. Jack is knocked ten feet in the air by the force of the explosions.*
Samurai Jack: *smacks into the canvas* Ooof! *stands up* You should not be so easily angered! It's a distraction!
Lina Inverse: *stops* Distraction? I certainly hope you weren't talking about what I think you were talking about!
Samurai Jack: Eh?
Lina Inverse: You were making fun of my flat chest!
Samurai Jack: What? No, I swear, I wasn't!
Jerry Lawler: Of course he was! Who wouldn't make fun of it? C'mon, let's sing the "No Puppies" song! *starts singing stupidly*
Lina Inverse: YOU WERE MAKING FUN OF IT! DON'T TELL ME YOU WEREN'T!
*Flames shoot from Lina's ears.*
Samurai Jack: I swear, I-
Lina Inverse: YOU'RE JUST A HYPOCRITE AND A LIAR! TAKE THIS!
*Lina Inverse slams her fist into Samurai Jack's crotch. Samurai Jack falls down onto the canvas, passed out.*
Lina Inverse: *pins Jack*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jerry Lawler: Aw, the flat-chested wonder won, JR! Isn't that sad?
Jim Ross: It would be sad if I was a pervert like you, King.
Jerry Lawler: Pervert?
*Backstage...*
Ryogo: *runs around, foaming at the mouth*
Tasuki: What the (censored) is your problem?
Ryogo: *dives at Tasuki*
Tasuki: Aaaah! *runs away*
*In the ring...*
*"Acido Acida" hits as Cathy walks out to the ring, carrying her Cathy Control Rod.*
Cathy: *swings her rod around* Let's go!
*"Heart ni Kiraboshi Sakash*tare" hits as Tasuki runs down to the ring, still being chased by the rabid Hardcore champ, Ryogo.*
Tasuki: Heeeeelp meeeee!
Cathy: *sweatdrops* Uhhh....
Tasuki: *whips out his tessen and points it at Ryogo* Back! Back I say! Back!
Ryogo: *barks at Tasuki, then growls at him, still foaming at the mouth*
Tasuki: Get back!
Cathy: Mind if I offer some assistance?
Tasuki: Go ahead.
*Cathy summons the Delta Plus Armor and inserts the control rod. After a lengthy anime sequence, in which neither Tasuki nor Ryogo move, Cathy has the armor on.*
Jerry Lawler: Whoohoo! Look at her puppies, JR!
Jim Ross: She's only 14, King.
Jerry Lawler: Your point?
Jim Ross: You're a pedophile, King.
Jerry Lawler: SO?
Jim Ross: I'm embarrassed for the both of us.
Cathy: Time for the Cathy Punch!
*Another anime sequence begins as metal plates cover Cathy's right arm. She points it at Ryogo.*
Ryogo: *growls*
Cathy: Take this, you big rabid meanie!
*Cathy leaps at Ryogo. With one mighty punch, she sends the Hardcore champ flying out of the arena.*
Cathy: Alright! *poses*
Tasuki: Lekka Shinen!
*Tasuki's tessen lights up and burns Cathy's head.*
Tasuki: Ha!
*Cathy's head begins glowing aflame, anime-style.*
Cathy: Aaaaah! *runs around, only making the fire worse* Put it out! Put it out! Put it-
Tasuki: *kicks Cathy into the ring*
*Cathy's rolling in the ring puts out the fire. She stands up.*
Cathy: You'll pay for trying to burn my helmet!
Tasuki: *walks into the ring* Yeah, whatever.
Cathy: Take this!
*Cathy's leg is encased in metal armor. She leaps at Tasuki. and kicks him in the knee.*
Tasuki: Ow! *hops around on one leg*
Cathy: Now for this!
*Cathy's lands a powerful punch, her right fist connecting with Tasuki's face. Tasuki flies back into the ropes, bounces off, and hits the canvas.*
Tasuki: Unnh...
Cathy: *pins Tasuki*
Ref: 1! 2!
*Tasuki tosses Cathy off of him and into the ropes. He points his tessen at Cathy and fires off a large wave of fire.*
Cathy: Hey!
*The flames engulf Cathy, this time, setting her whole body aflame.*
Cathy: Eeeeek!
*Cathy screams and runs around again, trying to put the flames out. Finally, she stops, drops, and rolls, putting out the flames. Cathy's power armor is now covered with burns.
Cathy: I hate you!
*A large blaster appears on Cathy's shoulder. She inserts the power rod and points the blaster at Tasuki.*
Cathy: Eat plasma, you rude fire-calling fiend!
*Cathy fires off several rounds of hydrogen plasma at Tasuki. Tasuki uses his incredible speed to dodge all the blasts.*
Cathy: Wha?
Tasuki: *laughs* I'm so fast!
Jim Ross: Geez, Tasuki's dodging those blasts like a pro!
Tasuki: You can't touch this! Oh yeah! *starts dancing*
Cathy: Time to end this.
*Cathy's shoulder cannon lights up.*
Cathy: You're not dodging this one... Ion Finisher!
Tasuki: Huh?
*A huge blast emerges from the cannon, too fast for Tasuki to dodge. It smacks right into Tasuki's chest, knocking all the wind out of him. He falls to the canvas.*
Cathy: *pins Tasuki*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Cathy: Serves you right! *makes the "V for Victory" sign to the crowd*
Tasuki: Hurt... pain... ow... *passes out*
Cathy: Yay! *poses for the crowd*
*The PFFA RAW logo appears. Fade to black.*
=======================================
*The PFFA Smackdown! theme plays as the camera pans in to the PFFA Arena.*
Michael Cole: Welcome to a very special Independence Day PFFA Smackdown!
Tazz: Today, we're gonna see the last battles of the first round!
Michael Cole: Including an unbelievable main event! It's last tournament's champ, Uncle facing everyone's favorite Saiyan AND former tournament runner-up, Vegeta! And it's going to be a ladder match!
Tazz: But first, it's going to be a real brawl between Sion Barhazad and Filia Ul Copt!
*Sion's theme hits as Sion walks down to the ring, throwing punches.*
Sion: All right!
*Filia walks down to the ring with a carefree look on her face.*
Filia: Hello there.
Sion: Let's go!
*Filia's hand lights up with energy. She tosses a ball of holy magic at Sion.*
Sion: Aaah! *rolls out of the way*
Filia: *catches Sion by surprise and kicks him in the head*
Sion: *staggers back to the ropes* Unnh...
Filia: Take this!
*Filia begins chanting. A large holy explosion catches Sion off guard and tosses him to the canvas.*
Filia: All right! *pins Sion*
Ref: 1! 2!
Sion: *kicks out*
Tazz: Filia amost had him!
Sion: *stands up* Grrr... I gotta take control!
*Sion picks up Filia.*
Filia: Hey!
*Sion tosses Filia out of the ring.*
Filia: *hits the pavement* Oooh... that hurt...
Sion: *leaps out of the ring and starts stomping on Filia*
Michael Cole: That's cruel! How can he be so mean to a girl?
Filia: *rolls out of the way and stands up* Stomp on me, will you? *takes out Mace-sama* Take this!
*Filia bashes Sion on the head with her mace. He falls over. Filia drags him back into the ring and pins him.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Sion: *kicks out*
Tazz: Whoa! He kicks out!
*Sion staggers to his feet. Filia swings her mace at him, but he ducks and hits Filia with a powerful Tornado Punch. She is knocked into the air, but she falls back to the canvas. Sion pins her.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Filia: *kicks out* Now I'm mad!
*Filia stands in the center of the ring and begins to transform.*
Michael Cole: Oh my God!
Tazz: She's turning into a dragon!
*Filia grows bigger and bigger, until finally, her dragon transformation is complete.*
Sion: Great. How am I gonna pin a dragon!
Filia: *smacks Sion with her wing, sending him crashing through the announce table*
Tazz: Aaah!
Sion: Unnh... *stands up* That hurt...
Filia: *breathes fire at Sion*
Sion: Yikes! *runs around the ring to get away from Filia*
Filia: Come back here! *grabs Sion in one of her talons*
Michael Cole: Filia's got him!
Sion: Lemme go! Lemme go! *kicks Filia*
Filia: *puts Sion in the ring and gets on top of him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Sion: *squeezes out from under the dragon*
Tazz: I don't believe it!
Sion: Whew...
Filia: Grrr...
Sion: *walks out of the ring* I have to find something to get her with! *looks around*
Filia: *flies over the ring* I see you!
Sion: Aaaah! *runs under the ring*
Filia: Come here! *looks under the ring for Sion* A-ha! Got you now!
*Filia tries to pull her head out from under the ring, but she can't.*
Filia: Hey! I'm stuck!
Sion: You're... stuck? *crawls out from under the ring* Heh...
Filia: Help me!
Sion: Nope.
Filia: Aaah! *tries to pull her head out*
Sion: *climbs back into the ring*
Ref: 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7!
Filia: Nooo!!!
Ref: 8! 9! 10!
Michael Cole: And Sion wins by count-out!
Tazz: I can't believe it! That isn't fair!
*Backstage...*
Ryogo: Good thing I recovered in time for my Hardcore title match against Iron Man tonight.
Kiki: You'd better be careful! Nobody's more hardcore than Iron Man.
Ryogo: Don't worry, I will be!
*Back in the ring...*
Tazz: Wow, we're about to watch a Hardcore title match between Ryogo and Iron Man!
*Ryogo and Iron Man walk down to the ring and begin brawling.*
Iron Man: *chokeslams Ryogo*
Ryogo: *pulls a trash can out from under the ring* Take this! *beats Iron Man with the trash can*
Iron Man: Mwahaha! I'm made of metal! That trash can doesn't hurt me! *kicks Ryogo into the turnbuckle*
Ryogo: Ooof!
Iron Man: *drags Ryogo into the center of the ring and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Tazz: A quick finish! Iron Man dominated the whole way!
Iron Man: *takes the title belt* All right! I'm-
Masked Man: *runs into the ring and smacks Iron Man with a chair*
Tazz: Huh?
Michael Cole: Who the heck is that?
Masked Man: *holds up his hand*
Iron Man: *flies into the air* Huh?
Masked Man: *psychically tosses Iron Man through the announce table*
Tazz: Oh man, that had to hurt!
Masked Man: *leaps onto Iron Man and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Masked Man: *takes the Hardcore title and walks into the ring*
Tazz: Who are you?
Masked Man: *takes off his mask*
Tazz: Oh my God, that's Greg!
Greg: Trunks, I want you now! You stole Ami from me, and now that I've got the Hardcore title, I challenge you to a match!
Michael Cole: Oh, I remember! Greg was Sailor Mercury's old boyfriend!
Greg: I loved Ami! Trunks, you'd better get down to this ring right now, or-
PA System: IF YA SMELELELELELEL... WHAT THE BROCK... IS COOKIN'!
Tazz: It's The Brock!
The Brock: *walks down to the ring*
Greg: Who are you?
The Brock: The Brock is asking the questions now, you jabroni! And The Brock's first question is... what is your name?
Greg: Gr-
The Brock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! When J.A. came back to the PFFA, The Brock decided to take a tour of the arena, and The Brock didn't like what he saw! The Brock says that you need to get out of this ring right now!
Greg: But I love Ami!
The Brock: Do you like pie?
Greg: Pie?
The Brock: Because The Brock knows Trunks likes pie. And The Brock thinks that you'd better keep your hands off Trunks' pie! The Brock thinks you'd better know your role and shut your mouth, if ya smelelelelelelel... what The Brock IS COOKIN'! *gives Greg the Rock Bottom, then pins him*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Tazz: And The Brock is the new Hardcore champion!
Michael Cole: You mean people that aren't in the tournament are eligible to win the Hardcore title?
Tazz: I could go up there and win the title right now! Maybe I should!
The Brock: *leaves*
Tazz: Aw...
*Backstage...*
The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster: Geez, everyone loves Ami! *stares at his Ami shrine* But I love you the most... and soon, you will be mine! I shall impress you with my mad battling skills!
*In the MPA locker room...*
Cait Love: I'm ready for my battle!
Cactus Cait: Win this one for the MPA!
Moogleborg: Yeah, kupo!
*In the ring...*
Tazz: Well, that was a strange Hardcore match.
Michael Cole: But now, it's a match between The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster and Cait Love!
Tazz: It's an "I Quit" match! That means that one warrior must get the other to say "I Quit"!
*The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster walks down the ramp to a huge boo from the crowd.*
TTPCBDM: Mwahaha! This battle shall be easy!
*Dude Love's theme hits as Cait Love walks down to the ring.*
Cait Love: Love power, baby!
TTPCBDM: *superkicks Cait Love to the canvas*
Cait Love: Aaah!
TTPCBDM: Surrender! *puts Cait Love in an ankle lock*
Cait Love: *screams in pain*
Ref: *puts the mic in Cait Love's face*
Cait Love: No! I won't quit! *kicks TTPCBDM away*
TTPCBDM: *grabs Cait Love and heaves him into the turnbuckle*
Cait Love: Aaah!
TTPCBDM: Bwahaha! *runs at Cait Love*
*Cait Love grabs TTPCBDM's arms and tries to DDT him. However, TTPCBDM reverses the DDT and slams Cait Love to the ground.*
TTPCBDM: *rolls Cait Love up into the Walls Of Jericho*
Tazz: Geez, he knows a lot of submissions!
Cait Love: AAAAAH!
Ref: *holds his mic in Cait Love's face*
Cait Love: The pain! Aaaah!
TTPCBDM: GIVE UP!
Cait Love: NO! *tosses TTPCBDM away*
TTPCBDM: Grrr...
Cait Love: Take this!
*Cait Love puts on Mr. Socko and shoves his fist down TTPCBDM's throat.*
TTPCBDM: Mmmph! *taps out*
Ref: *holds his microphone up to TTPCBDM*
TTPCBDM: Mmmph! Mmmph! *I quit! I quit! Darn it, I quit!*
Tazz: He can't talk, so he can't say "I Quit!"
Michael Cole: Cait Love might have to break the hold!
Ref: I can't understand you.
TTPCBDM: Mmmph! (I QUIT!)
Ref: I still can't understand you.
Cait Love: Crap. *takes his fist out of TTPCBDM's mouth*
TTPCBDM: Ack! That was disgusting! That was sick! *grabs Cait Love* YOU ARE DEAD! *tears off Cait Love's arms and legs*
Cait Love: AAAAAH!
Michael Cole: Oh, this is sick!
TTPCBDM: *puts Cait Love in the Tazzmission*
Tazz: Hey, that's my submission manuever!
Cait Love: I quit!
Ref: TTPCBDM wins!
Michael Cole: What a rip-off. TTPCBDM already quit before.
Tazz: Well, the ref couldn't understand him!
Michael Cole: *sighs*
Cait Love: *lies in the ring, bleeding* MEDIC!!!
TTPCBDM: I dedicate this win to the love of my life, Ami Mizuno. *leaves*
*Meanwhile...*
Vegeta: *throws punches*
Fire Griffin: Getting ready for your big match?
Vegeta: Shut up. I shall kill that old man.
Fire Griffin: Sure you will.
*In Zell's locker room*
Ayeka: Oh, Zell, good luck!
Zell: I'm gonna beat Spike Spiegel! He's weak!
Ayeka: Be careful. Spike has a gun.
Zell: Oooh, Spike has a gun. *laughs*
*In the ring...*
Michael Cole: Our next match is a No Disqualification match between Zell Dincht and Spike Spiegel!
*"Not The Same" hits as Zell walks down to the ring.*
Zell: *steps into the ring* Okay, where's Spike?
*"In The Rain" hits as Spike Spiegel walks down to the ring, twirling his gun.*
Zell: *kicks the gun out of Spike's hand* See? I'm not scared of-
Spike: *pulls out a backup gun and shoots Zell in the foot*
Zell: AAAAH! You're sick! Why would you do that? *hops around*
Spike: *kicks Zell into the ropes*
Michael Cole: Silly Spike. Bringing a gun to a wrestling match.
*Zell bounces off the ropes and falls to the canvas.*
Spike: *pins Zell*
Ref: 1! 2!
Zell: *kicks out* My foot... darn it! *goes Trance* Now you're gonna get it!
Spike: *shoots Zell in the other foot*
Zell: Bullets don't hurt me in Trance mode! *kicks Spike into the ropes*
Spike: *flies over the ropes and hits the pavement outside of the ring*
Zell: Wow, my kick packed a wallop. *flies outside of the ring and grabs Spike*
Spike: Hey!
Zell: *flies over to the announce table and slams Spike through it*
Tazz: How many times do you have to do that?
Spike: Unnh...
Zell: *picks up Spike and puts him in the ring, then pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Faye: *breaks up the count, then runs off*
Zell: Faye? What the heck? I-
Spike: *kicks Zell to the ground*
Zell: Ouch!
Spike: *pins Zell*
Ref: 1! 2!
Zell: *kicks out* Holy Trance!
*Zell sprouts angel wings and goes into Holy Trance mode.*
Michael Cole: I didn't know Zell was an angel...
Tazz: You don't know anything, Cole.
Zell: *puts on his brass knuckles*
Tazz: Here comes the power of the punch!
*Zell punches Spike in the face. Spike drops to the ground like a lead weight. Zell pins Spike.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Faye: *breaks up the count again*
Ayeka: *grabs Faye* Hey, you bimbo! Don't interrupt Zell's matches! *tosses Faye out of the ring*
Zell: *pins Spike again*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Tazz: And the angel pretty boy wins!
Zell: All right!
Michael Cole: Next, it's going to be the ladder match of the century! Vegeta and Uncle are gonna go at it, next!
*Backstage...*
Tetsuo: Grrr...
Fire Griffin: Wha?
Tetsuo: I'm going to go make Vegeta lose.
Fire Griffin: C'mon, let monkey-boy win at least one match before you mess with him!
Tetsuo: Nope.
*In Ami's locker room...*
Trunks: I'm going to go make sure Dad wins his match.
Ami: Didn't Uncle kill you last tournament?
Trunks: Yes... with two fingers! *cries*
*In the ring, a golden strait jacket is suspended above the ring.*
Tazz: The first contestant to get that strait jacket down and put it on wins!
Michael Cole: Flying is prohibited in this match. You can fly, but you can't touch the jacket while you're in the air. You have to use the ladder.
*The Old Chinese Music hits as Uncle walks down to the ring.*
Uncle: Whoohoo! Cheer for Uncle!
*Vegeta's theme hits. Vegeta walks down to the ring and steps inside.*
Vegeta: You're going down, old man!
Uncle: Bring it, whippersnapper!
*Vegeta lunges at Uncle. Uncle's fist glows.*
Tazz: The Dragon talisman!
*Uncle fires a blast of energy out of his fist. The energy hits Vegeta, tossing him back.
Vegeta: Grrr... that was a lucky shot!
*Vegeta fires a ki blast at Uncle. The blast knocks Uncle out of the ring and face first into the ladder.*
Uncle: Ooof!
*Vegeta hops out of the ring and grabs the ladder out from under Uncle. He slams the ladder into Uncle's back.*
Uncle: *howls in pain*
Vegeta: *slides the ladder into the ring* Time to climb.
*But before Vegeta himself can get into the ring, Uncle grabs him by the leg and picks him up.*
Uncle: Ox talisman gives strength! *spins Vegeta around*
Vegeta: WHAT?
*Uncle hurls Vegeta into the announce table. The Saiyan prince crashes through it.*
Tazz: Man, we are really burning through our announce table budget this episode.
Vegeta: *gets up* Fool!
Uncle: *slides into the ring and sets up the ladder*
*Vegeta angrily dives into the ring, diving right into Uncle and the ladder. The old man's face slams into the ladder, knocking it on its side. Uncle rolls over, bleeding from the forehead.*
Michael Cole: Uncle's been busted open!
Uncle: *stands up and the blood disappears* Unicorn talisman!
Vegeta: I'm sick of your talismans!
Uncle: Too bad!
*Vegeta punches Uncle in the face. Uncle flies into the turnbuckle*
Uncle: Aiy-ah!!!
Vegeta: *sets up the ladder and starts climbing*
Michael Cole: Vegeta's climbing the ladder!
Uncle: Hee! *kicks the ladder over*
Vegeta: *falls to the canvas* Darn it!
Tazz: These two are really pounding each other!
Uncle: *kicks Vegeta in the face*
Vegeta: *rolls over, holding his nose in pain*
*Uncle sets up the ladder and begins his ascent.*
Michael Cole: Vegeta's not moving!
Uncle: *keeps climbing*
Tazz: Uncle's near the top!
Uncle: *reaches for the strait jacket*
Vegeta: *rolls over, knocking the ladder down*
Uncle: AIY-AH!!! *hits the canvas hard*
Vegeta: *staggers to his feet and starts stomping on Uncle*
Michael Cole: That cruel Saiyan!
Uncle: Ooof!
Vegeta: *sets up the ladder and starts climbing*
Tazz: Now Vegeta's going for the jacket!
Vegeta: *reaches the top of the ladder*
Michael Cole: Oh my God, he's gonna get it!
*But before Vegeta can claim the jacket, the ladder bends in the middle. The ladder crumples and falls over, on top of Uncle. Vegeta falls on top of the ladder.*
Tazz: That ladder's bent in half!
Vegeta: Aaaah! Who did that?
Tetsuo: *standing by the ring* Hello, monkey-boy.
Vegeta: *weakly* You!
Tetsuo: *takes some headphones and sits at the announce table*
Michael Cole: Uh-
Tetsuo: *smacks Michael Cole, knocking him out*
Tazz: Hey Tetsuo, what's up?
Tetsuo: Nothing much. Just came to watch the fight.
Uncle: *wakes up and rolls out from under the ladder* Aiyah... my head...
Vegeta: *rolls over* Unnh...
Tazz: They're both hurting!
Tetsuo: Heh, that's good. I like watching fools suffer. I hate suffering fools.
Tazz: *laughs* That's pretty good.
Tetsuo: I try.
*Vegeta and Uncle slowly rise to their feet. Vegeta throws a punch at Uncle that barely misses. Uncle tries to whack Vegeta with his two fingers, but he misses.*
Vegeta: *steps out of the ring and gets a new ladder, then slides it into the ring* Oooh...
Uncle: *picks up the ladder* Feel my ladder! *smacks Vegeta over the head, knocking him out in an instant*
Tetsuo: Booyah.
Uncle: *struggles to set up the ladder* Whew.
*The tired old man starts to ascend the ladder.*
Tazz: He's going up!
Vegeta: *wakes up*
Tetsuo: Come on, Uncle! Get the jacket! Get it!
Uncle: *reaches the top of the ladder*
Tetsuo: He's there!
Uncle: *reaches for the jacket*
Vegeta: *wakes up*
Tetsuo: Nooo! Get the jacket, Uncle!
Uncle: *grabs for the jacket*
Vegeta: *kicks over the ladder*
Uncle: *plummets to the ground* Ooof! *passes out*
Tazz: These two warriors are kicking the crap out of each other!
Vegeta: *stands up and sets up the ladder* Time to end this!
*Vegeta starts climbing up the ladder*
Tetsuo: No!
Vegeta: *reaches the top*
Uncle: *wakes up*
Vegeta: No you don't!
*Vegeta leaps from the top of the ladder and slams his feet into Uncle's head. Uncle is knocked out again. Vegeta his the ground and rolls over in pain.*
Vegeta: Argh!
Uncle: *wakes up* Aiyah... *grabs the ladder and starts climbing very slowly*
Vegeta: No... *pulls Uncle off the ladder*
Tazz: I've never seen two warriors struggle like this!
Tetsuo: So much suffering... so much pain... isn't it great?
Tazz: Hey Tes, didn't you beat the crap out of Ami earlier?
Tetsuo: *laughs* Yeah, that was great. You see, the thing is, the weaker your opponent is, the more fun it is to hurt them. And she was pretty darn weak.
Uncle: Unnh... *rolls around*
Vegeta: *gets up* Grrr... *starts climbing the ladder*
Tetsuo: Here he goes again.
Tazz: Hey, it doesn't look like Uncle's going to stop him!
Tetsuo: What?
Vegeta: *near the top of the ladder* Heh... I got it...
Tetsuo: Nope! *leaps into the ring and starts to kick over the ladder*
*But before Tetsuo can kick the ladder, Trunks' foot flies into the side of Tetsuo's face. The crowd parts as Tetsuo flies into the stands and about 50 rows up before skidding to a stop.*
Trunks: That's for Ami!
Vegeta: *grabs the strait jacket* Got it! *unhooks it from the ceiling and comes down with it* Now to put it on...
Uncle: Hiyah! *kicks Vegeta into the turnbuckle*
Trunks: Huh?
Tazz: Uncle's caught a second wind!
Uncle: Thanks to the Unicorn!
Vegeta: *munches down a Senzu Bean and tosses the jacket to Trunks* Hold this while I kill the old man!
*Vegeta flies at Uncle and begins throwing punches at him. Uncle counters the punches and slams Vegeta into the pavement.*
Vegeta: *gets up* Fool!
Tetsuo: *flies back into the ring* Trunks!
Trunks: I'll show you to mess with my family! *kicks at Tetsuo*
*Tetsuo holds Trunks in place with his psychic powers.*
Tetsuo: Mwahaha!
*Suddenly, Trunks is lifted into the air.*
Tetsuo: I didn't do that!
Greg: No, I did!
Tazz: It's a psychic assault against Trunks!
Greg: *takes the strait jacket and tosses it to Uncle* Put this on!
Vegeta: No! *grabs the jacket*
Tazz: It's a tug-of-war for the golden strait jacket! The first one to put it on wins!
Uncle: Give that to me!
Vegeta: It's mine!
Uncle: Aiyah!!!
Greg: *psychically distracts Vegeta*
Vegeta: *lets go of the jacket*
Uncle: Ha! *starts to put on the jacket*
*Suddenly, a guitar is smashed over Uncle's head!*
Uncle: *drops the jacket* Huh?
John Lennon: I woulda had two titles in a row if it wasn't for you! *restrains Uncle*
Uncle: Noooo!
Vegeta: *puts on the golden strait jacket*
Ref: *calls for the bell*
Tazz: And Vegeta wins!
Tetsuo: NOOO! I-
John Lennon: *kicks Tetsuo, knocking him out*
Greg: *runs from the ring*
John Lennon: *knocks out Uncle* All right, mate!
Vegeta: *calls for a beer*
Fan: *tosses Vegeta and John Lennon a beer*
*Vegeta and John Lennon toast and celebrate in the ring by drinking the beers as July 4 fireworks begin bursting above the ring and the Star Spangled Banner plays in the background. The PFFA Smackdown! logo appears. Fade to black.*
=======================================
*The PFFA RAW theme song plays as the camera pans in to the ring.*
Jim Ross: Welcome to PFFA RAW, the first RAW of the second round!
Jerry Lawler: Whoohoo! There's gonna be a great main event! It's The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster vs. LieutenantX!
Jim Ross: That's right!
PA System: IF YA SMELELELELELELELELEL... WHAT THE BROCK... IS COOKIN'!
Jim Ross: Oh mah gawd, it's The Brock! The most electrifying man in fanfiction!
The Brock: *walks into the ring and grabs a mic* Finally, The Brock... HAS COME BACK TO THE PFFA!
*The audience cheers.*
The Brock: The Brock has come down to this ring to issue a challenge. But first, let The Brock give you a history lesson.
Jerry Lawler: Great, just what we need.
The Brock: The Brock remembers, three years ago, when The Brock won the Pokemon Wrestling title against Ash 3:16.
*The crowd cheers.*
The Brock: The Brock remembers when the MILLIONS...
*The crowd cheers again.*
The Brock: And MILLIONS of The Brock's fans rose up to cheer for The Brock, and The Brock delivered with the Brock Bottom...
*The crowd cheers.*
The Brock: 1! 2! 3! The winner, and new Pokemon League champion, THE BROCK!
*At this point, the cheering crowd gives The Brock a standing ovation.*
The Brock: And so, The Brock thinks, if The Brock can win the Pokemon Wresting League title, he can certainly defend the PFFA Roomie Tournament Hardcore title against any jabroni who wanted it. So, if any jabroni backstage thinks they can challenge The Brock, get your roodypoo candy(censored)es out here right now, IF YA SMELELELELELELELELEL-
*Suddenly, the Y2J countdown hits. When it reaches 0, "Lucky Lucky" starts playing. James begins walking down to the ring.*
Jim Ross: Oh mah gawd! It's James! Mah gawd!
James: *steps into the ring* Remember me?
The Brock: It's you, Y2James! You jabroni!
James: It's just James now, thank you very much.
The Brock: What makes you think you can go one on one with the Great One? The People's Champion? What makes you think you can go one on one with THE BROCK?
James: *takes the mic* RUTHLESS AGGRESSION!
*James leaps on The Brock and starts punching him.*
James: Hey, I'm beating the Brock! I'm-
The Brock: *kicks James off of him* Okay, you jabroni! You asked for it!
*The Brock walks over to James and kicks him down.*
James: Ooof!
The Brock: *picks up James and punches him, knocking him silly*
James: Aaaah!
The Brock: And now... *gives James the Brock Bottom*
Jim Ross: BROCK BOTTOM! BROCK BOTTOM! OH MAH GAWD!
The Brock: *pins James*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jim Ross: That's it! The Brock is still the Hardcore champ!
The Brock: *takes the mic* Let that be a lesson to any jabroni who wants to challenge The Brock. Come into the ring with The Brock and you're gonna lose, IF YA SMELELELELELELELEL.... WHAT THE BROCK IS COOKIN'!
*Meanwhile, backstage, in Ry's office...*
Ry: *messing around with a Rubik's Cube* Stupid thing...
Mike Ragnal: *walks into Ry's office* Ry?
Ry: Oh, hello Mike.
Mike Ragnal: Ry, why'd you make Trunks the special guest referee for Yuna's match?
Ry: Oh, Trunks insisted.
Mike Ragnal: Trunks'll make Yuna lose!
Ry: No, he won't.
Mike Ragnal: Yuna's aeon gave Ami the Stink Face.
Ry: Oooh...
Mike Ragnal: You see?
Ry: Well... uh... look, just have Yuna apologize.
Mike Ragnal: That might work...
*In the ring...*
Jim Ross: Well, The Brock definately electrified this crowd!
Jerry Lawler: It was James, JR! Not The Brock!
Jim Ross: *sighs*
*Billy Kidman's theme hits as Kyosuke Kagami walks into the ring.*
Kyosuke Kagami: *throws a few punches* Let's go!
*Suddenly, "We Are" hits and Zeldagis walks down to the ring.*
Zelgadis: Time to fight!
Jim Ross: This'll be a good match!
Zelgadis: *pulls out his sword and slashes at Kyosuke*
Kyosuke Kagami: *leaps back, away from the slash* Take this!
*Kyosuke fires off a small wave of energy out of his fist. Zelgadis dodges the wave easily.*
Zelgadis: Dust Chip!
*Zelgadis fires about fifty small balls of ice at Kyosuke. Kyosuke dodges most of them, but is hit by a few.*
Kyosuke: Argh! *falls to his knees* That attack hurt!
Jim Ross: You know, men are really susceptible to that attack, King.
Jerry Lawler: So I guess that attack wouldn't hurt you, huh, JR?
Jim Ross: Shut up, King.
*Kyosuke stands up.*
Kyosuke: I hate your stupid magic!
*Kyosuke leaps up in a somersault and kicks Zelgadis in the face. Zelgadis is tossed into the air. He comes down and slams into the canvas.*
Zelgadis: Oooh....
Kyosuke: *pins Zelgadis*
Ref: 1! 2!
Zelgadis: *kicks out* Blowing wind that passes by eternity,
Gather to my hands and be my power! Bram Gash!
*Zelgadis fires off many cutting wind arrows at Kyosuke.*
Kyosuke: What the- *is cut by the arrows* Gah!
Jim Ross: Mah gawd! Kyosuke's bleeding like a stuck pig!
Kyosuke: *falls to the ground* Ack!
Jim Ross: Kyosuke is clearly in pain!
Zelgadis: *pins Kyosuke*
Ref: 1! 2!
Kyosuke: *kicks out* Darn it! *stands up* You asked for it!
*Kyosuke leaps up and unleashes a flurry of shadow cut kicks on Zelgadis. Zelgadis is knocked back into the turnbuckle.*
Zelgadis: Aaaah!
Kyosuke: Now for the Gen'ei Toss!
*Kyosuke leaps onto the turnbuckle and delivers a powerful Hurricarana to Zelgadis. Zelgadis slams into the canvas with a loud impact.*
Jim Ross: What a sickening thud! Zelgadis is out like a light!
Kyosuke: *pins Zelgadis*
Ref: 1! 2!
Zelgadis: *kicks out*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd! Mah gawd! Zelgadis kicked out!
Kyosuke: Grrr....
Zelgadis: *stands up* Time for a more powerful spell...
Kyosuke: Huh?
Zelgadis: Meteor Fall!
*Out in space, a large asteroid is pulled toward Earth. When it hits the atmosphere, dust and rock are sheared off from the asteroid, shrinking it to the size of a fridge. It approaches the arena.*
Kyosuke: What did you do?
Zelgadis: You'll see.
*The fridge-sized rock crashes through the roof.*
Jim Ross: OH MAH GAWD!
Kyosuke: Oh crap-
*The meteor slams into Kyosuke's back, flattening him.*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd! That sick Zelgadis! Kyosuke's back must be broken in two! Mah gawd! Someone stop the dang match! Hide the children, this is disgusting! Mah gawd!
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Zelgadis: I win. Sorry bout that. *leaves*
Kyosuke: *still flattened by the meteor*
Jim Ross: While we get the medics, let's see what's going on backstage!
*In Trunks and Ami's locker room...*
Trunks: Gogeta's fighting next. I really hope Alita puts him in his place.
*Vegetto and Yuna walk in.*
Trunks: Yuna, you-
Ami: Hi, Yuna! What's up?
Yuna: Trunks, I just want to apologize for the actions of my aeon-
Trunks: *grabs Vegetto* What are you here for?
Vegetto: Well, Mike thought you'd kill Yuna, and-
Trunks: KILL YUNA? I'm not going to kill Yuna, you idiot! I'm just going to make sure my dad beats her, that's all. *tosses Vegetto out*
Ami: Trunks?
Trunks: *sighs* Ami, I'm just mad...
Yuna: *runs away*
*Back in the ring...*
*"American Badass" hits as Gogeta walks down to the ring.*
Gogeta: Whoohoo! I'm gonna win this one!
*Alita walks down to the ring to silence and a mixed reaction from the crowd.*
Alita: Hopefully this battle will be longer than my last one.
Gogeta: It will be. You're going down!
Alita: Hmph.
Gogeta: First, I'll stop you from moving! Stunner Blast!
*Gogeta fires a small ki blast at Alita. Alita simply stands there.*
Jerry Lawler: What's she doing?
Alita: *puts up her hand*
*A large energy field appears in front of Alita. The Stunner Blast seems to be pulled into the field.*
Gogeta: Wha?
Alita: *starts firing off Killer Bee smart bombs at Gogeta*
Gogeta: Pathetic!
*Gogeta ITs behind Alita. The bombs follow him.*
Gogeta: Kamehame-
Alita: *punches Gogeta, then picks him up*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd! Impossible!
Alita: *tosses Gogeta in front of the smart bombs*
Gogeta: No!
*The Smart Bombs hit Gogeta and blast him into the air. His smoking body hits the canvas.*
Alita: *pins Gogeta*
Ref: 1! 2!
Gogeta: *kicks out* Enough of this crap! *kicks Alita*
Alita: *flies out of the ring and slams through the announce table*
Jerry Lawler: Hey there, baby!
Alita: *runs back into the ring* How about this?
*Alita lights up with a large electrical field that surrounds her body. The electrical field engulfs Gogeta, shocking him multiple times.*
Gogeta: ARGH!!! The pain!
*Gogeta falls to the ground. Alita pins him again.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Gogeta: *kicks out* Not... yet... *grabs Alita by the neck*
Alita: Ack!
Gogeta: *leaps up and chokeslams Alita*
Jim Ross: And a brutal chokeslam by Gogeta!
Gogeta: *pins Alita*
Ref: 1! 2!
Alita: *kicks out* Time to end this.
*Alita unsheathes her damascus blade.*
Gogeta: Eh?
Alita: *stabs Gogeta through the stomach*
Gogeta: Argh! *falls to the ground* Unnh...
Alita: *pins Gogeta*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jim Ross: Alita dominated that match, King!
Jerry Lawler: Well of course, JR! Hey, did you see her puppies?
Jim Ross: I'm a married man, King.
*Backstage...*
Trunks: Good. Gogeta got what he deserved.
Vegeta: I could beat that Alita woman easily.
Trunks: Right now, you'd better concentrate on beating Yuna.
Vegeta: Concentrate? Yuna's pathetic!
*In the ring...*
*Vegeta's theme hits as Vegeta walks down to the ring. He steps inside and shakes his fist.*
Vegeta: Yuna, get down here now!
*"Tomorrow Comes Today" hits as Yuna walks down to the ring. She has a worried look on her face.*
Yuna: I hope I win...
*"The Game" hits as Trunks walks into the ring, wearing a referee uniform.*
Trunks: Okay, I want a good, clean fight! And no Stink Faces. *glares at Yuna*
Yuna: Darn it, I-
Trunks: One more outburst like that, and you're disqualified!
Jim Ross: Trunks is laying down the law already!
Yuna: Grrr...
Vegeta: *punches Yuna in the face*
Yuna: *hits the canvas* Aaaah!
Vegeta: *pins Yuna*
Trunks: *quick-counts* 1! 2!
Yuna: *jabs Vegeta's eye with her staff*
Vegeta: Aaah! My eye! *rolls off of Yuna*
Yuna: Bahamut, come forth!
*The arena darkens as Bahamut crashes through the roof.*
Vegeta: *laughs*
Bahamut: *fires a Mega Flare at Vegeta*
Vegeta: *fires a ki blast to counter the flare*
*The ki blast mows through the Flare and smacks into Bahamut, disintegrating it instantly.*
Yuna: No!
Vegeta: *laughs*
Yuna: Anima!!!
*The ring opens up as Anima tunnels in from under it.*
Vegeta: What the heck is that thing? Is it a fish? I'll fillet it!
Anima: *roars*
*Anima's chains fall away as it goes all out on Vegeta with its Oblivion attack. Anima bites and claws at Vegeta, trying to harm the Saiyajin.*
Vegeta: Ow! Hey! That actually hurts!
Yuna: Yes!
Vegeta: Argh! *grabs Anima* Now you'll pay!
*Vegeta swings Anima over his head, round and round. Finally, he hurls Anima clear out of the arena.*
Yuna: Oh no...
Vegeta: *grabs Yuna* Now you die!
*Vegeta slams Yuna into the canvas and puts her in an ankle lock. Yuna grabs the rope.*
Yuna: Trunks, break the hold!
Trunks: *looks the other way*
Vegeta: Hahahaha! Thanks, son!
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, that sad*stic Vegeta isn't breaking the hold! Vegeta's sick! Trunks isn't breaking it up!
Yuna: AAAAH!!!
Vegeta: Tap out!
Trunks: Grrr... dad, break the hold. She grabbed the rope!
Vegeta: But-
Trunks: Do you want to get disqualified?
Vegeta: Grrr... *breaks the hold*
Yuna: Thank you.
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, the damage may be done! Yuna's ankle is completely twisted! Vegeta is one sick man!
Jerry Lawler: *laughs*
Vegeta: *drags Yuna into the middle of the ring*
Yuna: Magus Sisters!
*The three Magus Sisters fly down to the ring. Trunks immediately gets an angry look in his eye.*
Trunks: *points at Cindy* Get that fat slob out of the ring before I-
Mindy: Passado! *shoots Trunks with stingers*
Trunks: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Yuna: Mindy, stop! You'll get us disqualified!
Cindy: Shut up! Camisade! *shoots into the air and lands on Vegeta's back*
Vegeta: Gaaah! *falls to the ground*
Trunks: Grrr... *takes out his sword* That's it! *slices Mindy in half*
Sandy: Razzia! *shoots a stream of fire at Trunks*
Trunks: *smacks the Razzia away and slices Sandy in half*
Cindy: Hey! *smacks Trunks into the turnbuckle*
Jim Ross: Oh, dear gawd no! Not this again!
Cindy: *backs up into Trunks and gives him the Stink Face*
Jim Ross: That's disgusting!
Trunks: Argh! *pushes Cindy off of him* That's it! Yuna's disqualified! Dad wins!
Vegeta: Yes!
Cindy: *Bonzai Drops Trunks*
Yuna: Cindy, no!
Cindy: *sits on Trunks face and starts firing off farts*
Jim Ross: This is sick!
Jerry Lawler: This is great, JR!
Trunks: *passes out*
Cindy: *Samoan Drops Vegeta*
Yuna: *sighs*
Cindy: *starts dancing in the ring*
Jim Ross: Well, Vegeta won, but poor Trunks and Vegeta!
Jerry Lawler: What a stinker of a match, huh, JR?
*backstage...*
The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster: Mwahaha! Serves you right, Trunks! *looks at his Ami shrine* Oh, Ami, how I love you...
LieutenantX: *walks in* Hey.
TTPCBDM: What do you want?
LieutenantX: Just wishing you good luck in our match.
TTPCBDM: Ha! I could kill you right now!
LieutenantX: We'll see. *looks at the Ami shrine* Nice shrine you got there.
TTPCBDM: Don't look at it! Only I can look at it!
LieutenantX: Whatever. *leaves*
TTPCBDM: Oooh...
*In the ring...*
*"We Are All Made Of Stars" hits as LieutenantX's mecha crashes through the roof and lands in the enlarged wrestling ring.*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, look at the size of that thing! I'll never get used to seeing it!
*The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster floats into the ring and shakes his fist at the mecha.*
TTPCBDM: Okay, mech, prepare to die!
*The monster fires a huge ki blast, disintegrating the mech.*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd! Mah gawd! That fiendish monster just disintegrated that huge mech!
TTPCBDM: *laughs* I win already! Mwaha-
LieutenantX: *smashes TTPCBDM from behind with a trash can* I wasn't in the mech, idiot! *kicks TTPCBDM down and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
TTPCBDM: *kicks out* Nobody makes a fool of me! *grabs LieutenantX's neck and chokeslams him*
LieutenantX: Ooof!
TTPCBDM: *grabs LieutenantX and swings him around*
LieutenantX: Aaaah!
TTPCBDM: *flings LieutenantX out of the ring*
LieutenantX: Argh!
TTPCBDM: *leaps after LieutenantX and grabs a folding chair* I will rule all!
*TTPCBDM cracks the chair across LieutenantX's head.*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, he's been busted open!
LieutenantX: *falls to the ground*
TTPCBDM: *pins LieutenantX*
Ref: 1! 2!
LieutenantX: *kicks out*
TTPCBDM: Grrr... *drops LieutenantX and takes a table from under the ring*
Jim Ross: What's he doing?
TTPCBDM: *takes out a large ladder*
Jim Ross: Oh mah gawd!
TTPCBDM: *sets up the ladder in the ring and picks up LieutenantX*
LieutenantX: Unnh...
TTPCBDM: *carries LieutenantX to the top of the ladder*
Jim Ross: Oh mah gawd! Oh mah gawd! Don't do it! For the love of God, don't do it!
*TTPCBDM reaches the top of the ladder. Just before he chokeslams LieutenantX, he counters, kicking TTPCBDM. Both men go plummeting out of the ring and through the table, with TTPCBDM landing on the bottom.*
Jerry Lawler: No!
Ref: 1! 2!
Jim Ross: This is it! That dirty error monster is gonna get pinned!
TTPCBDM: *kicks out*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd! How did he kick out!
LieutenantX: No... *passes out*
TTPCBDM: *rolls on top of LieutenantX*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jim Ross: That's it!
TTPCBDM: *crawls back into the ring and grabs a mic*
Jim Ross: What's he doing now?
TTPCBDM: I just won a Hardcore match!
Jerry Lawler: Yeah!
TTPCBDM: I think I'm good enough to win the title! So, if The Brock is still here, I challenge you to a Hardcore Title match on Smackdown! What do you say?
PA System: IF YA SMELELELELELELELELEL... WHAT THE BROCK.... IS COOKIN'!
The Brock: *walks out to the ring and takes the mic* Before The Brock accepts your challenge, you have to answer The Brock's question!
TTPCBDM: And what would that be?
The Brock: What is your name?
TTPCBDM: The This-
The Brock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS, JABRONI! THE BROCK ACCEPTS YOUR CHALLENGE!
TTPCBDM: *starts laughing*
The Brock: What's so funny?
TTPCBDM: Well-
The Brock: The Brock says WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
TTPCBDM: I-
The Brock: *gives TTPCBDM the Brock Bottom, then The People's Elbow*
Jim Ross: MAH GAWD! The most electrifying move in fanfiction! The People's Elbow!
The Brock: On Smackdown, The Brock is gonna kick your candy(censored), IF YA SMELELELELELELEL... WHAT THE BROCK IS COOKIN'!
*The Brock's theme starts as The Brock leaves the ring. The PFFA RAW logo appears. Fade to black.*
=======================================
*The PFFA Smackdown! theme plays as cheering fans cheer in the background and the camera pans in to the ring.*
Michael Cole: Welcome to a great edition of PFFA Smackdown!
Tazz: We've got an awesome main event for you tonight! It's Kaura Nighthawk versus the Magical Mecha Pilot Cute Cathy! And, there's going to be a Hardcore match between The Brock and The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster! It's all tonight!
*Aya's Theme hits as Aya Brea walks down the ramp to the ring.*
Aya Brea: *stands in the ring*
*A huge cheer erupts from the crowd. Duke Nukem walks down the ramp and into the ring.*
Duke Nukem: Whoa, baby, you are one hot mama!
Aya Brea: Ugh.
Duke Nukem: Ya know, if you give me a kiss, I might go easy on-
Aya Brea: *kicks Duke in the stomach* Take a cold shower, Duke.*
Duke Nukem: Ack! *doubles over*
Aya Brea: *spins around and kicks Duke into the ropes*
Michael Cole: And Aya Brea is dominating this match!
Tazz: She's really showing her skills out there!
Duke Nukem: *walks up to Aya* Okay, that does it! *punches Aya in the face*
Aya Brea: Aaah! *staggers back*
Duke Nukem: Eat this, baby! *kicks Aya into the turnbuckle*
Aya Brea: *slams against the turnbuckle* Ooof!
Duke Nukem: *starts punching Aya*
Aya Brea: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Duke Nukem: *grabs Aya by the hair*
Aya Brea: My hair!
Duke Nukem: *pulls Aya around the ring by her hair*
Michael Cole: Oh, that is just the sickest thing I've ever seen! It's disgusting!
Duke Nukem: *piledrives Aya*
Aya Brea: Ugh! *falls on the canvas*
Duke Nukem: *pins Aya*
Ref: 1! 2!
Aya Brea: *kicks out* Grrr...
*Aya Brea blasts Duke with a small blast of Parasite Energy. He staggers back.*
Duke Nukem: Hey, babe, that hurt!
Aya Brea: Good! You're a pervert!
Duke Nukem: Aw, come on! Just one kiss!
Aya Brea: *screams and casts Confuse on Duke Nukem*
Duke Nukem: Ugh... I'm all, confused and stuff.
*Duke Nukem staggers around the ring, confused.*
Michael Cole: And it appears that Duke is drunk!
Tazz: He's confused, Cole, not drunk!
Duke Nukem: *punches himself in the face* Ow, that hurt!
Aya Brea: *kicks Duke in the stomach again*
Duke Nukem: Argh! *falls over* Unnnh...
Aya Brea: *pins Duke*
Ref: 1! 2!
Duke Nukem: *kicks out* You can't beat me that easily, baby!
*Duke Nukem stands up. The confusion has worn off.*
Aya Brea: I've never seen a guy shake off the confusion that quickly!
Duke Nukem: I'm no ordinary guy, baby! I'm a stud!
Aya Brea: Grrr... I hate to do this, but you leave me no choice!
*Aya's body begins glowing as she focuses her Parasite Energy. Suddenly, two large wings sprout from her back and her clothes disappear.*
Duke Nukem: Whoa! Naked chick!
Aya Brea: PERVERT!
*With one mighty superkick, Duke Nukem is knocked to the ground.*
Duke Nukem: Oh, baby...
Aya Brea: *pins Duke Nukem*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Duke Nukem: Whoa, naked chick on top of me... heh heh.... *passes out*
Aya Brea: Grrr... *changes back into normal and stomps out of the ring*
*Backstage...*
The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster: Tonight, I'm gonna beat The Brock and win that Hardcore title!
Evil Robot Bill: Are you gonna need our help?
TTPCBDM: Maybe. Stand by in case I do.
Evil Robot Ted: What about Ami?
TTPCBDM: Trunks has a match tonight. While he's at the match, you two will grab her and bring her here!
Evil Robot Ted: All right!
*Meanwhile...*
Aya Brea: *stomps into her locker room* Bill?
Bill: I just came to congratulate you on beating that pervert Duke Nukem!
Aya Brea: Yeah, thanks...
Bill: If you want, I could papercut him!
Aya Brea: Well, you could do that, I guess...
Bill: Yay! *leaves*
Aya Brea: *sweatdrops*
*Back in the ring...*
*Jecht's Theme hits as Jecht walks down to the ring, juggling a blitzball.*
Jecht: Whoohoo! All right!
*Never Gonna Stop hits. Sakura Kasugano runs down to the ring and climbs inside.*
Sakura: Okay, Jecht, prepare to lose!
Jecht: *laughs* Me, lose? Bwahaha! *takes out his sword*
Sakura: Hadouken!
*Sakura fires off several fireballs at Jecht. Jecht deflects them with his sword, knocking them back at Sakura.*
Sakura: Aaaah! *leaps out of the way*
Jecht: Take this! *slams a blitzball into Sakura's head*
Sakura: Ooof!
*Sakura falls to the canvas. Jecht pins her.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Sakura: *kicks out and stands up* Oukakyaku!
*Sakura leaps up and kicks Jecht in the head with both feet. Jecht falls to the canvas.*
Jecht: Ouch...
Sakura: Now take this!
*Sakura puts Jecht in a triangle choke.*
Michael Cole: Oooh, that's a powerful triangle choke!
Tazz: Will Jecht tap out?
Jecht: No...
Sakura: *kicks Jecht in the chest, knocking him back, then pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jecht: *kicks out* Darn it!
Sakura: Haruichiban!
*Sakura sweep-kicks Jecht into the air, then kicks him again, sending him back against the turnbuckle.*
Jecht: *leans against the turnbuckle* Unnh...
*Sakura runs at Jecht and starts kicking him in the face.*
Jecht: Aaaah!
Sakura: *drags Jecht into the center of the ring and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jecht: *kicks out*
Tazz: That's gotta be frustrating, Cole. No matter what Sakura does, she just can't pin Jecht!
Sakura: Time to end this!
*Sakura suddenly grows larger.*
Michael Cole: It looks like she's changed into Super Sakura!
Super Sakura: Yay! Now I'll finally win!
*Super Sakura runs at Jecht.*
Super Sakura: Time for the Raging Sakura Attack!
*But when Sakura punches at Jecht, Jecht grabs her fist and tosses her into the air.*
Super Sakura: Aaaah!
Jecht: *leaps into the air above Sakura and takes out his blitzball* Ultimate Jecht Shot!
*Jecht hits Super Sakura in the back with his blitzball. The force sends Sakura crashing to the canvas. Jecht pins her.*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Tazz: What a great reversal! He reversed that Raging Sakura Attack with the Ultimate Jecht Shot! Sakura fell right into it!
Super Sakura: Unnh...
Jecht: Whoohoo! *grabs a beer and guzzles it down*
*Meanwhile...*
Ami: Good luck in your match against Kain, Trunks!
Trunks: Thanks! I'll be back soon, okay? *kisses Ami*
*In the ring...*
*Kain leaps up from the ramp and into the ring. He holds up his spear and twirls it around.*
Tazz: This is gonna be a mismatch, Cole! Kain's gotta face Trunks!
Michael Cole: It's a No Disqualification match, so anything can happen!
*"The Game" hits as Trunks walks down to the ring. He climbs inside.*
Trunks: Okay, I'm gonna make this match quick.
Kain: Fat chance!
*Kain runs at Trunks with his spear. Trunks legsweeps Kain. Kain falls to the ground.*
Kain: Unnh!
Trunks: *grabs Kain's spear and snaps it in two*
Tazz: Well, that's it for the spear!
Michael Cole: Kain's in real trouble now!
Trunks: *walks up to Kain*
Kain: I'll never surrender! *gets up and kicks Trunks in the face*
Trunks: Was that supposed to hurt?
Gogeta: No, but this will! *runs into the ring and kicks Trunks into the turnbuckle*
Michael Cole: Now Gogeta's in on the action!
Gogeta: *picks Trunks up and tosses him through the announce table*
Tazz: Whoa!
Trunks: *gets up* Gogeta, don't interfere in my match! You're already out of the tournament!
Gogeta: Cram it, Trunks!
Trunks: Grrrr... *goes SSJ5* You want some of this? *kicks Gogeta into the air*
Gogeta: *comes back down and kicks Trunks against the ropes, then smacks him with a chair* Whoohoo! He's out like a light! Okay, Kain, pin him! *runs away*
Kain: Oh, right! *pins Trunks*
Ref: 1! 2!
Trunks: *kicks out* Grrr...
Kain: Gogeta said you were out! Gogeta said-
Trunks: *flattens Kain with a superkick* Gogeta's an idiot. *pins Kain*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Gogeta: Darn it!
Michael Cole: And despite Gogeta's interference, Trunks wins the match!
Tazz: Gogeta really has it out for Trunks, Cole, and I don't blame him. Trunks is a jerk!
*Backstage, in Ami's locker room...*
Ami: *watching the match on TV* Yes! Trunks won!
*There's a knock on the door.*
Ami: That must be Trunks! *opens the door* Oh my! Who are you?
Evil Robot Bill: We've come for you, Ami Mizuno!
*The two evil robots grab Ami.*
Ami: Hey! Trunks, help!
*The robots carry Ami off. Just as they turn the corner, Trunks comes from the other hallway.*
Trunks: *walks back into Ami's locker room* Ami? Ami? You here? *looks around* Hmmm....
*Back in the ring...*
PA System: IF YA SMELELELELELELELELEL... WHAT THE BROCK... IS COOKIN'!
The Brock: *walks into the ring* Okay, you jabroni monster, where are you?
*The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster walks down to the ring.*
TTPCBDM: Mwahaha! *grabs a folding chair* I will rule all!
The Brock: Know your role and shut your mouth, jabroni! *punches TTPCBDM to the canvas*
TTPCBDM: *hops back up* That didn't hurt!
The Brock: *leaps out of the ring and grabs a kendo stick*
TTPCBDM: Eh?
The Brock: *jabs TTPCBDM with the kendo stick*
TTPCBDM: Ooof!
The Brock: *hops back in the ring and delivers The People's Punch to TTPCBDM*
TTPCBDM: *falls over*
The Brock: *pins TTPCBDM*
Ref: 1! 2!
TTPCBDM: *kicks out* Bill, Ted, get out here!
*Evil Robots Bill and Ted run down the ramp, carrying Ami.*
Ami: Trunks, help!
TTPCBDM: Oh, you've got Ami. Well, drop her and help me!
Evil Robot Bill: But-
TTPCBDM: I'll get her later! Help me fight The Brock!
*The robots obey, dropping Ami. She runs off. Bill and Ted run down to the ring and leap on The Brock.*
The Brock: Aaaah!
TTPCBDM: Mwahaha!
*The Brock grabs Bill and Ted, each in one arm.*
TTPCBDM: Wha?
The Brock: *gives the two robots the Brock Bottom*
Michael Cole: DOUBLE BROCK BOTTOM! I don't believe it!
TTPCBDM: Uh oh!
The Brock: Now for you, you roodypoo jabroni! *gives TTPCBDM the Brock Bottom*
Tazz: Oh man!
The Brock: *gives TTPCBDM The People's Elbow, then pins him*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Michael Cole: And The Brock keeps the Hardcore Title!
Tazz: Wow, The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster lost both Ami and the Hardcore Title match in the same day! That's gotta suck!
Michael Cole: Next, our main event features two 14-year-olds with awesome superpowers! You don't wanna miss it!
*Backstage...*
Magical Mecha Pilot Cute Cathy: This next battle's gonna be real tough...
Cruton: You shouldn't worry too much. Kaura's powerful, but he's nothing you can't handle.
Magical Mecha Pilot Cute Cathy: I hope so...
*Meanwhile...*
Kaura Nighthawk: How ironic. Cathy's my own age.
Thunchu: Hey, she's kinda cute, too! Ya know, you two might make a nice couple!
Kaura Nighthawk: *laughs* Oh, heck no. I like Kiyone, remember?
Thunchu: Oops, I forgot...
*In the ring...*
*"Acido Acida hits as Cathy walks down to the ring. She climbs into the ring and waves to the crowd.*
Cathy: Hi!
*"Crawlin'" hits. Kaura Nighthawk walks down to the ring and climbs inside.*
Kaura: Nice to meet you.
Cathy: Nice to meet you too! Too bad we have to beat each other up! Cruton's told me a lot about you. You fought Cthulhu and Hastur!
Kaura: Yes, I did.
Cathy: Well, time to fight! *takes out her Cathy Control Rod* Delta Power Armor, activate!
*Cathy's Delta Power Armor appears and encases her body.*
Cathy: Cathy Punch!
*Cathy's arm becomes covered in metal plates. She leaps at Kaura and punches him in the face, knocking him back. Kaura lunges forward and kicks Cathy back into the ropes.*
Kaura: Now take this!
*Cathy bounces back from the ropes. Kaura floors her with a powerful spinning kick. She hits the canvas.*
Cathy: Unnh...
Kaura: *pins Cathy*
Ref: 1! 2!
Cathy: *kicks out* Now I'm mad! Pugnous Cannon!
*The large energy cannon appears on Cathy's shoulder.*
Kaura: Wha?
Cathy: *starts firing off plasma shots at Kaura*
Kaura: Ha ha! *unsheathes his Virsoth and deflects all the blasts, sending them into the crowd*
Michael Cole: And so far, Kauara's blocking everything that Cathy's throwing at him!
*Kaura leaps and Cathy and knocks her to the ground, then pins her.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Cathy: *kicks out* Okay, you asked for it!
*Cathy leaps to her feet.*
Cathy: Ion Finisher!
*Cathy's Pugnous Shot lights up. She fires a powerful stream of plasma from the cannon. The plasma hits Kaura, knocking him back. Kaura glows with energy, but he doesn't hit the canvas.*
Cathy: What? That attack KOed Tasuki, but it didn't even knock you down!
Kaura: That's because I'm not Tasuki!
*Kaura kicks Cathy into the air, then leaps up and kicks her out of the ring. She hits hard against the cement outside of the ring.*
Cathy: *gets up* Okay, you asked for it! It's time for the Pugnatore!
*Cathy begins glowing. A large, heavily fortified mecha appears around her. The mecha almost fills the ring.*
Kaura: Wow... a mecha... not bad. But I've fought mecha before.
*Kaura raises his arms and fires a stream of ki blasts at the Pugnatore. The ki blasts create a Pugnatore, but the giant mecha isn't even scratched.*
Cathy: Mwahaha! I've turned this fight around!
*The Pugnatore points its plasma blaster at Kaura and begins firing. The powerful plasma blasts knock Kaura out of the ring. He rolls on the cement and stands up.*
Kaura: Those blasts are far more powerful than the ones that she was firing from he cannon...
Michael Cole: Looks like the tables have turned!
*Kaura's Virosth begins glowing with a blue energy. A large torrent of water rises up and engulfs the Pugnatore, swirling it around. The swirling vortex tosses the Pugnatore into the air, then on its back on the canvas.*
Cathy: Aaaah!
*The Pugnatore hops to its feet.*
Kaura: I've never seen such an agile mecha...
Cathy: Well, now you have! And you're going down!
*The Pugnatore leaps out of the ring and kicks Kaura back in. Then, it does a huge bellyflop on top of Kaura, pinning him.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Kaura: *lifts up the Pugnatore*
Michael Cole: Oh my God!
Kaura: I've beaten Trunks before, I can't believe you don't know my strength, Cathy. *spins the Pugnatore around*
Cathy: Aaaaah!!!
*Kaura heaves the Pugnatore into the stands. The crowd parts as fast as they can right before Pugnatore crashes through a large group section of seats.*
Tazz: That was an awesome display of strength!
Pugnatore: *slowly rises to its feet*
Cathy: Grrr...
*Pugnatore hops out of the crowd and lands next to the announce table.*
Cathy: I've got you right where I want you!
*Anime music starts playing as Pugnatore spins around in cliche anime sequence style.*
Cathy: Artificial... Lightning... RETRIBUTION!
*The Pugnatore focuses all of its energy into its cannon and fires it off in one huge blast. The blast hits Kaura and creates a huge explosion.*
Kaura: ARGH!!! *falls to the canvas*
*The Pugnatore disappears. Cathy leaps into the ring and pins Kaura.*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Cathy: All right! *strikes a cute anime pose*
Tazz: Wow! In true anime style, Magical Mecha Pilot Cathy strikes down yet another foe! Go Pugnatore!
Michael Cole: Wow, it all seems... anticlimactic.
Tazz: That's shoujo anime for ya!
*Meanwhile, backstage...*
Ami: *hugs Trunks* Oh, Trunks, I was so scared...
Trunks: Don't worry, Ami, I won't let that monster capture you again!
*Elsewhere...*
The Brock: *walking around backstage, carrying his Hardcore title*
John Lennon: *walks up to The Brock* Hey, what's up?
The Brock: Who in the blue heck are you?
John Lennon: I'm John Lennon, frontman for the Beatles and former tournament champ and runner-up. I challenge you to a Hardcore title match on RAW.
The Brock: The Brock accepts your challenge! *shakes John Lennon's hand*
*The PFFA Smackdown! logo appears. Fade to black.*
=======================================
*The PFFA RAW theme song plays as the camera pans into the ring.*
Jim Ross: Welcome to PFFA RAW! We're gonna have a slobberknocker of a match for our main event! It's gonna be that jezebel Jessie versus Lei Kaiwen in a Hardcore Ref match!
Jerry Lawler: That's where the ref gets to use weapons to defend himself and attack the wrestlers! It'll be great!
*Backstage, in Ry's office...*
Ry: *humming the Speed Racer theme* Go, Speed Racer go!
Mike Ragnal: *walks into the room*
Ry: Oh, hello Mike. What is it this time?
Mike Ragnal: Well, you saw what that monster did to Ami on Smackdown...
Ry: Oh yes, that.
Mike Ragnal: And I was wondering if maybe you could schedule a match.
Ry: What kind of match?
Mike Ragnal: An exhibition match between the Ragnal Bodyguard Patrol and a few of Trunks' past enemies.
Ry: Ragnal Bodyguard Patrol?
Mike Ragnal: A few of my roomies are going to protect Ami, and-
Voice: None of you are going near Ami!
Mike Ragnal: Trunks?
Trunks: Is Gogeta in that patrol?
Mike Ragnal: Well, yes-
Trunks: None of them are going near Ami.
Ry: I was going to schedule a match... A 10-man Survivor Series match between 5 of the bodyguards and 5 of your past foes, Trunks...
Trunks: Fine. If they win, they can guard Ami. If they lose, they can't.
Ry: Great!
*Elsewhere...*
The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster: Argh! I can't believe this!
Evil Robot Bill: What?
TTPCBDM: I worked my fingers to the bone rebuilding you two, and you can't even beat The Brock!
Evil Robot Ted: He's tough! He's the most electrifying man in fanfiction!
TTPCBDM: Shut up.
*In the ring...*
*"But But But" hits as Xellos walks out to the ring.*
Xellos: Mwahaha!
*Undertaker's theme hits. Cloak walks out to the ring and steps inside.*
Jim Ross: Remember what Cloak did last round? He gave Ryoga rabies!
Xellos: How did you do that? Did you bite him?
Cloak: I did it like this. *tosses his cloak at Xellos*
Xellos: Hey!
*Xellos raises his hand and fires an energy spear at the cloak, piercing it and tossing it back at Cloak.*
Cloak: *catches the cloak and puts it back on* Guess I'm not gonna beat you that way.
Xellos: I guess you're not! *takes out his staff and bashes Cloak in the head*
Cloak: Aaah! *holds his head*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, he's been busted open!
*Xellos takes advantage of Cloak's stunned state and kicks him into the turnbuckle.*
Cloak: Ooof!
Xellos: *drags Cloak into the middle of the ring and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Cloak: *kicks out* Grrr...
*Cloak spins around and kicks Xellos away.*
Cloak: Take this!
*Cloak runs at Xellos. Xellos takes out his staff and bashes Cloak again.*
Cloak: Aaaah! *staggers around the ring*
Jim Ross: Xellos took that staff to Cloak's head!
Jerry Lawler: Sweet!
Xellos: *grabs Cloak and spins him around, then tosses him into the ropes*
*Cloak bounces off the ropes and staggers toward Xellos. When he gets near, Xellos smacks Cloak with the staff again.*
Cloak: Unnh... *falls to the canvas*
Xellos: *pins Cloak*
Ref: 1! 2!
Cloak: *kicks out*
Jim Ross: And Cloak continues to kick out!
Xellos: Grrr...
*A sword appears in Xellos' hand. He jabs it into Cloak's shadow. Cloak stops cold.*
Cloak: Hey!
Xellos: *blasts Cloak with several orbs of dark energy*
Cloak: Yikes!
*Cloak is blasted into the air. He hits the canvas. Xellos pins him again.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Cloak: *kicks out*
Xellos: Darn it! *pounds the ring in frustration*
Cloak: Now's my chance!
*Cloak spins around and tosses his cloak over the angry Xellos. Xellos is covered by the cloak.*
Xellos: Hey!
*Xellos tosses the cloak off of himself, but it's too late.*
Xellos: I feel woozy...
*Xellos sways around, then falls to the canvas.*
Jim Ross: He's out cold!
Cloak: *pins Xellos*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, I don't believe it! What a come-from-behind victory for Cloak!
Cloak: All right! *picks up his cloak and leaves*
*Meanwhile, in the MPA's locker room...*
Moogleborg: Okay you two, try to fight a fair fight, kupo!
Cactus Cait: *gasps* I'd never cheat!
Taka Pikanochu: Oh, yes you would...
Cactus Cait: *laughs*
*In the ring...*
Jim Ross: We're ready for our Sock Party match between Cactus Cait and Taka Pikanochu!
Jerry Lawler: There are a bunch of sock weapons scattered around the ring! This'll be great!
*Taka Mikanochu's theme hits as Taka Pikanochu runs down to the ring and climbs inside.*
Taka Pikanochu: EVIL!
Jerry Lawler: Whoohoo! EVIL! EVIL, JR!
Jim Ross: Whatever...
*Cactus Jack's theme hits as Cactus Cait struts down to the ring. He climbs inside and shakes Taka Pikanochu's hand.*
Cactus Cait: Good luck, man!
Taka Pikanochu: EVIL! *grabs a sock filled with pellets and smacks Cactus Cait with it, knocking him to the ground*
Cactus Cait: *slams into the canvas* Argh!
Taka Pikanochu: *smacks Cactus Cait again with the pellet-filled sock*
Cactus Cait: *rolls away* Buddy, I'm the King of Hardcore! This is my kind of match! *grabs a sock filled with a large rock and slaps Taka Pikanochu with it, sending him flying into the ropes*
Taka Pikanochu: *bounces off the ropes and skids on the canvas* Ugh...
Cactus Cait: *pins Taka*
Ref: 1! 2!
Taka Pikanochu: *kicks out* Pika!
*Taka Pikanochu shocks Cactus Cait with a powerful Thundershock.*
Cactus Cait: Aiyeee!!!
Taka Pikanochu: EVIL!
*Taka Pikanochu grabs a sock and puts it over Cactus Cait's head.*
Cactus Cait: *stumbles around* Can't see! I can't see!
Taka Pikanochu: *blasts Cactus Cait with a Thunderbolt*
Cactus Cait: Aaaah! *falls to the canvas*
Taka Pikanochu: *pins Cactus Cait*
Ref: 1! 2!
Cactus Cait: *kicks out and takes the sock off his head* You asked for it!
*Cactus Cait hooks Taka's arms and Double Arm DDTs him into the canvas. Taka falls to the canvas.*
Cactus Cait: All right! *pins Taka*
Ref: 1! 2!
Taka Pikanochu: *kicks out*
Cactus Cait: No!
Taka Pikanochu: PIKA! *zaps Cactus Cait with a Thunder attack*
Cactus Cait: Aaaah!
*Cactus Cait bounces out of the ring and lands on the announce table.*
Jim Ross: Not over here! Get off!
Cactus Cait: *grabs a sock and puts it on his hand, then gets back in the ring* Okay, that does it! I-
Taka Pikanochu: *grabs Cactus Cait and sets him up for the Pikanochu Driver*
Cactus Cait: *shoves his sock-covered hand down Taka's throat* Take this!
Taka Pikanochu: *piledrives Cactus Cait and zaps him with another Thunder attack*
Jim Ross: They both got off their finishers! Mandible Claw and Pikanochu Driver! Mah gawd!
Taka Pikanochu: *pins Cactus Cait*
Ref: 1! 2!
*At the exact time that the ref says "3", Taka taps out to Cactus Cait's Mandible Claw.*
Jim Ross: A pinfall and a tap-out at the same time!
Jerry Lawler: Isn't this a draw?
Jim Ross: This is a single elimination tournament! It can't be a draw!
Ref: Since a pinfall and a tap-out occured at the same time, the first one to stand up is the winner!
*Taka and Cactus Cait both struggle to stand. Finally, Cactus Cait gets to his feet a second before Taka does.*
Cactus Cait: Yes!
Ref: Cactus Cait wins!
Jim Ross: What a close match! But the next match should be even closer! It's going to be a Hardcore match between John Lennon and The Brock, for the Hardcore title! This'll be great!
PA System: IF YA SMELELELELELEL.... WHAT THE BROCK... IS COOKIN'!
The Brock: *walks down to the ring*
*Beatles songs begin playing as John Lennon runs down to the ring, holding his guitar.*
John Lennon: You're going down, mate! *bashes The Brock with the guitar*
The Brock: Aaah! *hops out of the ring and grabs a folding chair* Take this! *bashes John Lennon with the chair*
Jim Ross: And this match is underway! They're bashing the crap out of each other!
John Lennon: *superkicks The Brock to the ground*
The Brock: *hits the canvas, but quickly gets back up and hits John Lennon with The People's Punch*
John Lennon: *bounces off the ropes, then bounces back, smashing The Brock with his guitar*
The Brock: *falls to the canvas*
John Lennon: *pins The Brock*
Ref: 1! 2!
The Brock: *kicks out and gets up* Now The Brock is mad!
Jim Ross: Who's that running down to the ring?
Tetsuo: *climbs into the ring* Remember me?
Jim Ross: Oh mah gawd, it's that sick, sad*stic Tetsuo!
Tetsuo: *kicks The Brock to the ground and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
John Lennon: *kicks Tetsuo off The Brock* Get out of here!
Tetsuo: *grabs John Lennon by the neck and tosses him through the announce table*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd!
Tetsuo: *takes a lead pipe and smashes it into The Brock's head*
The Brock: Aaaah! *falls to the canvas, unconscious*
Tetsuo: *pins The Brock*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Tetsuo: *laughs and continues beating The Brock with the lead pipe*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, that Tetsuo is sick! Somebody get some help for The Brock!
*Meanwhile, backstage...*
Norris: *cringes* That Tetsuo is an evil man...
Killerprimeape: Don't worry about him! Just win your match!
Norris: All right.
*Elsewhere...*
Mew: *pokes Mewtwo* You're gonna lose!
Mewtwo: Stop it.
Mew: *pokes Mewtwo again* You're gonna lose!
Mewtwo: STOP IT!
Mew: *giggles*
*In the ring...*
Jim Ross: Well, John Lennon and The Brock have been taken to the hospital, but that sick Tetsuo's still roaming around!
Jerry Lawler: Think he'll show up for this match?
Jim Ross: He might.
*Mewtwo floats out to the ring to no theme music. He steps into the ring and wags his tail.*
Mewtwo: *laughs*
*Norris also comes out to silence. He gets into the ring and takes out his gun.*
Norris: Take this!
*Norris points his gun at Mewtwo and starts firing. Mewtwo uses his psychic powers to freeze the bullets in place.*
Mewtwo: Is that all? This battle's going to be easy!
*Mewtwo fires a psychic blast at Norris. Norris leaps out of the way into the ring. He points his gun at Mewtwo again.*
Mewtwo: When will you learn? *grabs the gun with his tail and tosses it out of the ring*
Norris: My gun!
Mewtwo: You don't need it. *grabs Norris with his tail and slams him to the canvas, then pins him*
Ref: 1! 2
Norris: *kicks out* Grrr... *rolls out of the ring and grabs his gun* Sunshot!
*Norris fires his gun into the air. Beams of energy fall onto Mewtwo and knock him into the air.*
Mewtwo: Argh! This might be harder than I thought!
*Mewtwo lands on his feet.*
Mewtwo: Okay... Psychic! *blasts Norris with a huge blast of psychic energy, knocking him into the crowd*
Norris: Argh! *skids through the seats* Unnh...
Mewtwo: *leaps into the crowd and grabs Norris, Seismic Tossing him back into the ring*
Norris: Unnh...
Mewtwo: *floats into the ring and pins Norris*
Ref: 1! 2!
Norris: *kicks out*
Jim Ross: How did he get out of that!
Norris: One last chance... *gets up* Take this!
*Norris' gun glows with energy. He fires a huge Topshot at Mewtwo. The energy blast hits the Pokemon, sending it flying into the ropes.*
Mewtwo: *bounces off the ropes and lies motionless in the ring* Ugh...
Norris: *rolls Mewtwo over and pins him*
Jim Ross: This could be it!
Ref: 1! 2!
Mewtwo: *kicks out*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd!
Norris: No way!
Mewtwo: Hiyah!
*Mewtwo leaps up and does a Hi Jump Kick on Norris. The powerful kick sends Norris flying into the air. He comes down and hits the canvas.*
Mewtwo: *pins Norris*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jim Ross: That's it! Norris put up a great fight, but Mewtwo wins it!
Mewtwo: Yes!
Jim Ross: Now, for a special Survivor Series elimination match! Mike Ragnal's picked the RBP representatives, and Ry's picked the villains! It's a Survivor Series match! Gogeta, Vegetto, Spider-Girl, Zell, and Super 17 vs. Hot Sauce, Hojo, Dr. Evil, Exdeath, and Gilgamesh! Once you're pinned, you're eliminated! Last team with a man standing wins!
*"The Game" hits. Trunks walks down to the ring in a ref's uniform.*
Trunks: I'll be the ref for this match!
*The DX theme hits at the 5 chosen members of the RBP walk into the ring.*
Gogeta: *throws some punches* Okay, let's go!
*"Bad To The Bone" plays as the 5 chosen villains walk down to the ring.*
Hot Sauce: I'll kill you all! Mweeheehee!
*Spider-Girl and Dr. Evil stand in the ring.*
Dr. Evil: Mwahaha! One-meeeeeelion dollars!
Spider-Girl: *tags in Gogeta*
Gogeta: *knocks Dr. Evil out with one attack, then pins him*
Trunks: *extremely slow count* 1.....2.............
Gogeta: Come on!
Trunks: *sighs* 3.
Jim Ross: And Dr. Evil's eliminated!
Hot Sauce: *walks into the ring* Now it's on! *punches Gogeta*
Gogeta: *kicks Hot Sauce*
Hot Sauce: Aaaah!
Gogeta: *punches at Hot Sauce*
Hot Sauce: *grabs Gogeta's fist and tosses him into the ropes*
Gogeta: *tags in Zell*
Zell: *takes some punches*
Hot Sauce: *superkicks Zell and pins him*
Trunks: 1! 2!
Gogeta: *breaks up the pin*
Hot Sauce: Grrr! *tags in Hojo*
*Hojo nails Zell with a powerful punch combo. Zell is knocked down.*
Zell: *crawls to his corner and tags in Spider-Girl*
Spider-Girl: Hey! I can't fight this guy!
Hojo: *knocks down Spider-Girl and pins her*
Trunks: 1! 2! 3!
Jim Ross: And both sides are down to four!
Super 17: *walks back into the ring and punches Hojo, knocking him down*
Hojo: *rolls over to the corner and tags in Gilgamesh*
Gilgamesh: Ha! *poses*
Super 17: *kicks Gilgamesh down and pins him*
Trunks: 1! 2!
Hot Sauce: *tackles #17, breaking up the count* Fool! *pins #17*
Trunks: 1! 2! 3!
Gogeta: *steps back into the ring*
Hot Sauce: *kicks Gogeta back to his corner, then tags in Exdeath*
Exdeath: Feel my mighty villainous wrath!
Gogeta: *tags in Vegetto*
Vegetto: *knocks Exdeath down and pins him*
Trunks: 1! 2! 3!
Gilgamesh: *steps back into the ring*
Vegetto: *punches at Gilgamesh*
Gilgamesh: *steps out of the way* Ha ha! *tags in Hojo*
Hojo: *steps into the ring and uses his speed to get under Vegetto's punches*
Vegetto: I can't hit him! *tags Zell*
Zell: *goes Trance* Take this!
*Zell uses his speed to kick at Hojo. Hojo spins out of the way and kicks Zell down, then pins him.*
Trunks: 1! 2! 3!
Zell: Crap! *leaves*
Jim Ross: The villains are leading! They still have 3 members left! The heroes are down to two!
Gogeta: *steps into the ring* I'm fast enough to hit him! *kicks Hojo, knocking him into the turnbuckle*
Hojo: Ouch!
Gogeta: *drags Hojo to the center of the ring and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Hot Sauce: Darn it!
Gilgamesh: *steps into the ring and is immediately floored by Gogeta's fist*
Gogeta: *pins Gilgamesh*
Trunks: *VERY slow count* 1..........2.......................3. Darn it, if these clowns win, I'll have to let them guard Ami...
Hot Sauce: *climbs into the ring* I may be the last one left, but I'm the deadliest of all! *kicks Gogeta down and pins him*
Trunks: 1! 2!
Vegetto: Brother! No! *breaks up the count*
Gogeta: Unnh... *tags Vegetto*
Vegetto: You're dead now!
Hot Sauce: Not bloody likely! *grabs Vegetto and starts strangling him*
Vegetto: Ack!
Hot Sauce: *puts Vegetto in the Ankle Lock*
Vegetto: Argh! *taps out*
Gogeta: No!
Jim Ross: And now there's only two men left in the ring! Gogeta and the Hot Sauce! Mah gawd!
*Hot Sauce and Gogeta start to fight. Suddenly, "Enter Sandman" hits.*
Ry: *walks into the ring* Stop the match! Stop the match!
Hot Sauce: What's your problem?
Ry: Both teams have fought well! But this match will be settled differently! Gogeta will fight the Hot Sauce one-on-one on Smackdown! The winner of that determines the winner of this match!
Hot Sauce: But I had him beat!
Gogeta: Did not!
*Ry leaves. Trunks follows him. Gogeta and the Hot Sauce also leave.*
*Meanwhile, backstage, in Jessie's locker room...*
Jessie: *whistles to herself* This match will be fun!
Tidus: *bursts into the room*
Jessie: Huh?
Tidus: *points his sword at Jessie's throat* You cheated to win that first round match!
Jessie: What are you talking about?
Tidus: Let me wrestle that match against Lei, or else!
Jessie: *screams*
James: No one hurts my Jessie! *bursts in with a folding chair and bashes Tidus with it, knocking him out* Jessie, are you alright?
Jessie: *huggles James* I am, thanks to you...
*Jessie and James kiss.*
*In the ring...*
Jerry Lawler: You know, I'm jealous of James! I'd like to kiss Jessie!
Jim Ross: Take a cold shower, King.
*The Pika Rap hits. Lei Kaiwen walks down to the ring and climbs inside.*
Lei: *takes out his lightsabre and Xiaoshin Blade* Let's go.
Jim Ross: It looks like Lei managed to get his arm sewed back on from that first-round fight!
*"Maemuki Rocketto-Dan" hits. Jessie walks down to the ring wagging her abra-tail.*
Jessie: Hello there!
Ref: *puts brass knuckles on both hands* Okay, this better be a clean fight! Or else!
Jessie: *winks at the ref*
Ref: *punches Jessie in the nose* Don't try that hypnosis crap on me!
Lei: Hey!
*Jessie lies on the canvas, holding her nose, which is now bleeding.*
Jessie: *gets up* That was unneccessary.
Ref: Shut your mouth!
Lei: *sighs* Just forget about it. *swings his lightsabre at Jessie*
Jessie: *leaps out of the way* Take this!
*Jessie fires a series of psychic blasts at Lei. Lei deflects the blasts with his two blades, then quickly slashes at Jessie's arm. The Xiaoshin Blade swipes Jessie's left arm, cutting it.*
Jessie: Ouch!
Ref: Shut up!
Lei: You know, you have a real problem, and-
Ref: *punches Lei in the face*
Jim Ross: The ref's really taking this Hardcore thing seriously!
Ref: That's because I'm the Hardcore champ! *takes off his mask* I'm Tetsuo Shima!
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, Tetsuo's the Hardcore Ref!
Tetsuo: That's right!
Lei: You've brought pain and suffering to everyone in this tournament! *Force Chokes Tetsuo*
Tetsuo: Argh! *falls to the canvas, clutching his throat*
Lei: *pins Tetsuo*
Another Ref: *runs into the ring to make the count* 1! 2! 3!
Lei: *takes the Hardcore belt*
Tetsuo: *gets up* You're dead! I-
Jessie: *blasts Tetsuo with psychic energy*
Tetsuo: Argh! *turns around* I think I'll kill you instead! *grabs Jessie*
Jessie: Help me!
James: *runs into the ring and tackles Tetsuo* No one hurts Jessie!
*James and Tetsuo brawl all the way backstage.*
Jessie: Now that he's gone, let's finish our match!
Lei: All right.
*Lei swings his lightsabres at Jessie. Suddenly, he stops.*
Jessie: *holds Lei in place with psychic energy*
Lei: Hey!
Jessie: *blasts Lei with a psychic energy blast*
Lei: *bounces off the ropes and falls in the center of the ring*
Jessie: *pins Lei*
Ref: 1! 2!
Lei: *kicks Jessie off* Grrr...
*Lei raises his hand, Force Pushing Jessie out of the ring.*
Jessie: *reaches under the ring and grabs a trash can*
Ref: Hey, that weapon is illegal in-
Jessie: *winks*
Ref: But, what the heck, for you, anything!
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, that jezebel Jessie is hypnotizing the ref again!
Lei: Wait a minute, I-
Jessie: *bashes Lei with the trash can*
Lei: *falls to the canvas* Unnh...
Jessie: *pins Lei*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jessie: *pins him again* For the Hardcore title!
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jessie: *takes the Hardcore title* All right! *leaves*
Jim Ross: That dirty cheater! Using hypnosis on the dang ref!
Lei: *gets up* Grrr...
*Meanwhile, backstage...*
Tetsuo: *stomping on an unconscious James* That's for interfering, fool! *cruelly kicks James away*
Hot Sauce: *walks up to Tetsuo* I need your help.
Tetsuo: What for?
Hot Sauce: I need your help to beat Gogeta on Smackdown.
Tetsuo: What's in it for me?
Hot Sauce: I'll get you your Hardcore title back.
Tetsuo: *thinks for a bit* Fine. It's a deal.
*Tetsuo and Hot Sauce shake hands. The PFFA RAW logo appears. Fade to black.*
=======================================
*The PFFA Smackdown! theme song plays as the camera pans in to the ring.*
Michael Cole: Welcome to PFFA Smackdown!
Tazz: Tonight, we've got one heck of a main event! Sephiroth and Zell are getting into the steel cage, but only one of them is coming out!
Michael Cole: Also tonight, there's going to be an exhibition match between Gogeta and the Hot Sauce! But first, we've got a match between Spiderman and Zebek!
*Zebek walks out to the ring and steps inside.*
Zebek: Okay, Spiderman, I'm ready.
*"Hero" plays. Spiderman crawls down to the ring and hops inside.*
Spiderman: I'm the Amazing Spiderman!
Zebek: *kicks Spiderman into the ropes*
Spiderman: *bounces off the ropes and fires a web at Zebek, wrapping it around his arm*
Zebek: Huh?
Spiderman: *spins Zebek around, then tosses him out of the ring*
Zebek: Oooh... *climbs back into the ring* Spiderman, you're mine!
*Zebek points his arms at Spiderman and starts firing missiles at him. Spiderman uses his webs to swing around and dodge the missiles.*
Spiderman: Eat this! *kicks Zebek down*
Michael Cole: It looks like Spiderman's taken an early lead in this match!
Spiderman: *picks up Zebek and bodyslams him into the canvas, then pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Zebek: *kicks out* No you don't!
*Zebek hops to his feet and takes out his plasma cannon.*
Zebek: Maybe this will stop you. *fires a huge plasma blast at Spiderman*
Spiderman: Yikes!
*Spiderman tries to get out of the way, but he's too slow. The blast knocks him ten feet into the air, then he falls back to the canvas.*
Zebek: *pins Spiderman*
Ref: 1! 2!
Spiderman: *kicks out*
Michael Cole: Well, I guess both of them still have some fight left!
Spiderman: *kicks Zebek in the leg, knocking him down*
Zebek: *hops back up and points his rocket launcher at Spiderman's head, then fires*
Spiderman: Whoa!
*The rockets hit Spiderman, sending him crashing through the announce table.*
Tazz: Oh, not again...
Zebek: *hops over to Spiderman and kicks him back into the ring*
Spiderman: Unnh...
Zebek: *crawls back into the ring and pins Spiderman*
Ref: 1! 2!
Spiderman: *shoots webbing in Zebek's face*
Zebek: Argh! Can't see!
Spiderman: *kicks Zebek into the turnbuckle*
Zebek: Ouch!
Spiderman: *crawls onto the turnbuckle and punches Zebek in the face, repeatedly*
Zebek: Ow! Oooh! Ow!
Spiderman: *kicks Zebek into the center of the ring and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Zebek: *kicks out and tears the webbing off his face* No more of this! *takes out a huge gun with fifty missile launchers on it*
Michael Cole: That is a freakin' big gun!
Zebek: Eat missiles, Marvel-boy!
*Zebek launches hundreds of missiles at Spiderman. Before the missiles hit, Spiderman crawls out of the ring and waves his arms.*
Spiderman: No mas! No mas! *runs out of the ring*
Ref: *counts Spiderman out*
Tazz: Well, Spiderman just decided to lose by count-out, and I don't blame him! Look at that gun!
*Backstage...*
Tetsuo: *sharpening a large sword*
Gogeta: *walks in*
Tetsuo: What are you doing here?
Gogeta: I came to stop you from interfering in my match tonight.
Tetsuo: Uh...
Gogeta: How do we want to do this? Let's see here... inoppurtune trip to the bathroom from laxative overdose? Laid out on the floor from repeated chairshots? Trip out of state to see supposedly dead relative? Tied up and shoved in a locker? Or how about the ol' fashioned bribe? *takes out a suitcase*
Tetsuo: How about this? *superkicks Gogeta to the ground* I've got a match with Lina Inverse. No time for you right now. *leaves*
*In the ring...*
*"Exit Running" hits. Lina Inverse walks down to the ring.*
Lina Inverse: Oh man, I hope Tetsuo isn't mean...
*Tetsuo's theme plays. Tetsuo walks down to the ring, laughing sad*stically.*
Tetsuo: Bwahaha!
Lina Inverse: What's so funny? I hope you're not laughing at my chest!
Tazz: Or lack thereof... *laughs*
Tetsuo: No. I'm laughing at the fact that you're about to die a horrible death, and there's no one to save you.
Lina Inverse: Oh yeah? Dill Brand!
*Tetsuo is blasted by the spell. He manages to keep both of his feet on the ground.*
Tetsuo: Not bad. But can you handle this?
*Tetsuo raises his hand and fires hundreds of psychic needles at Lina. The needles slash Lina's body.*
Lina Inverse: Argh! *falls down*
Tetsuo: *pins Lina*
Ref: 1! 2!
Tetsuo: *kicks Lina out of the ring*
Michael Cole: What's he doing?
Tetsuo: I can't let my new toy slip away from me... yet. *grabs Lina by her hair*
Michael Cole: Now this is getting sick.
Tetsuo: *tosses Lina back into the ring*
Lina Inverse: Unnh...
Tetsuo: *picks up Lina* Heh heh...
*Tetsuo gives Lina ten German Suplexes in a row.*
Tazz: Hey, that's my move!
Tetsuo: *tosses Lina into the turnbuckle*
Lina Inverse: Unnh...
Tetsuo: Now to finish you off. *takes out his sword*
Lina Inverse: This spell might be forbidden, but it's all I've got!
*Lina starts chanting a spell.*
Tetsuo: What are you doing?
Lina Inverse: *finishes chanting* Giga Slave!!!
*The huge spell engulfs Tetsuo.*
Michael Cole: What power!
*When the smoke clears, Tetsuo is lying in the middle of the ring, charred. He looks unconscious.*
Lina Inverse: I... I got him with the Giga Slave! Hah! *pins Tetsuo*
Ref: 1! 2!
Tetsuo: *kicks out*
Lina Inverse: How did he survive that, let alone kick out of it?
Tetsuo: My psychic shield absorbed most of your pathetic spell! *grabs Lina* Now... die! *stabs Lina through the chest*
Lina Inverse: Argh... *passes out*
Tetsuo: *pins Lina*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Michael Cole: I can't believe it! Tetsuo wins!
*Backstage, in Jessie's locker room...*
Jessie: *holds up the Hardcore belt* See this?
James: Oh, I see it! This is great, Jessie! Finally Team Rocket will get the respect they deserve!
Jessie: Yes!
Hot Sauce: *kicks the door down* Hello there.
Jessie: Who are you?
James: Get out of here, you-
Hot Sauce: *knocks James out*
Jessie: *screams*
Hot Sauce: *knocks Jessie down, then pins her*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Hot Sauce: *takes the title* Thank you for your cooperation. *starts beating Jessie up*
*Meanwhile, in the ring...*
Tazz: This match is Falls Count Anywhere! That means that you don't have to be in the ring to get pinned!
Michael Cole: This battle will be intense!
*The Dreamland Theme hits as Kirby floats into the ring.*
Kirby: Hiiii!
*Sion's theme hits. Sion walks down to the ring and climbs inside.*
Kirby: Hi! *slams his blue saber into Sion's head*
Sion: Ow!
*Sion grabs Kirby and applies the Buster Throw on him. However, Kirby simply floats up before he hits the canvas.*
Michael Cole: That thing's light!
*Kirby floats to the ground and Slide Kicks Sion, knocking him over.*
Kirby: *pins Sion*
Ref: 1! 2!
Sion: *kicks out* Not yet!
*Sion leaps up, uppercuting Kirby. Kirby floats up into the air to steady himself, then comes down on Sion with his blue saber.*
Sion: Whoa!
*Kirby lands on Sion, knocking him down, then pinning him again.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Sion: *kicks out* Grrrr...
*Sion punches Kirby, then comes around and backhands him. Kirby skids on the canvas.*
Michael Cole: Looks like that Double Knuckle managed to knock the wind out of Kirby!
Kirby: *gets up, then starts puffing up angrily.*
Tazz: He looks mad!
Kirby: *sucks Sion in*
Tazz: Uh oh!
Kirby: *spits Sion into the turnbuckle*
Sion: Unnh...
Kirby: Yaaaaa! *hits Sion with a Buster Throw, tossing him out of the ring*
Sion: *crashes through the announcer table*
Michael Cole: Darn it, we just got that thing rebuilt!
Kirby: *floats above Sion, turns into a rock, and smashes Sion in the chest*
Sion: Argh! *passes out*
Kirby: *pins Sion*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Tazz: Kirby wins!
Michael Cole: He really dominated that match!
Tazz: Kirby's the man, Cole. You gotta understand that.
*Meanwhile, backstage...*
Ry: Oh man, this'll be great! Gogeta and Hot Sauce are about to fight, and Trunks is the ref! I am a genius!
Mike Ragnal: *walks into the room* Uh, Ry, I wanna talk to you...
Ry: About what?
Mike Ragnal: About that match. You see... Tetsuo's planning to interfere in the match.
Ry: Really? Oh man, it'll be the best battle ever!
Mike Ragnal: But-
Ry: Look, Mike, do you want to see a good battle, or not?
Mike Ragnal: But-
Ry: *pushes Mike out of the room*
*In the ring...*
*"The Game" hits as Trunks walks down to the ring, wearing a referee shirt. The second that he gets into the ring, he goes SSJ5.*
Michael Cole: Whoa! Trunks isn't gonna let anyone mess around in his ring!
*"American Badass" hits. SSJ4 Gogeta walks into the ring and stares at Trunks.*
Gogeta: Uh oh, Trunks looks mad...
*"What's Your Fantasy?" hits. Hot Sauce walks down to the ring and climbs inside.*
Hot Sauce: Mwahahaha! *holds up the Hardcore Title* I beat the crap out of Team Rocket to get this!
Trunks: *points his sword at Hot Sauce* I hate both of your guts. If either one of you do anything wrong in this ring, I'll kick the crap out of you both. *rings the bell*
Gogeta: *kicks at Hot Sauce*
Hot Sauce: *ducks under the kick* Bwahaha! I'm short enough to dodge your pathetic kicks! *grabs Gogeta's leg and tosses him out of the ring*
Gogeta: Argh! *crashes through a table*
Michael Cole: Aw, that's the third one today...
Gogeta: *stands up and fires off a ki blast at Hot Sauce*
Hot Sauce: *catches the ki blast* Fool! *tosses it back at Gogeta*
Gogeta: *leaps above the blast and into the ring* Take this! *kicks Hot Sauce into the turnbuckle, then hops onto the turnbuckle and starts beating him up*
Hot Sauce: *pushes Gogeta away* Why you... *knocks Gogeta down and starts stomping on him*
Gogeta: Ouch!
Hot Sauce: *pins Gogeta*
Trunks: 1! 2!
Gogeta: *tosses Hot Sauce off of him, then kicks him out of the ring* Stunner Blast!
*Gogeta's blast knocks Hot Sauce off balance.*
Hot Sauce: Can't move!
Gogeta: I know! *kicks Hot Sauce back into the ring, then pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Hot Sauce: *kicks out*
Gogeta: How'd you break out of the Stunner Blast so quick?
Hot Sauce: I'm too tough for you! I came close to beating Trunks once!
Trunks: *kicks Hot Sauce down* A little too close, in fact.
Hot Sauce: Hey!
Gogeta: *pins Hot Sauce*
Trunks: *quick-counts* 1! 2!
Hot Sauce: *kicks out* The ref's biased! Tetsuo, get out here!
Tetsuo: *runs out to the ring*
Trunks: Hey! If you touch me or Gogeta, you're disquali-
Tetsuo: *superkicks Trunks, knocking him out*
Michael Cole: Uh-oh!
Tetsuo: *kicks Gogeta in the face, knocking him down*
Hot Sauce: Ha ha ha! *starts jumping on Gogeta's stomach like a trampoline*
Gogeta: Ooof! Argh! Ow!
Hot Sauce: *kicks Gogeta into the turnbuckle* All right!
Tetsuo: *picks up Gogeta and does a backbreaker on him*
Gogeta: ARGH! *passes out*
Hot Sauce: We need another ref in here to count him out! Trunks won't!
Tetsuo: Yes he will. I'll make him. *runs off*
Trunks: *wakes up* Unnh...
Hot Sauce: Uh... *pins Gogeta*
Trunks: No way I'm counting. You had outside help. I'm going to disqualify you.
Voice: No you won't!
Trunks: Huh? *looks at the Titantron*
Tetsuo: *waves to Trunks* My good friend, the Hot Sauce, had better win this fight, or... *places his sword to Ami's throat*
Ami: Trunks!
Trunks: Ami!
Tetsuo: If I were you, I'd disqualify Gogeta right now, or-
Zell: *smashes a chair over Tetsuo's head*
Tidus: *stabs Tetsuo*
Vegetto: *kicks Tetsuo out of the room*
Ami: You guys rescued me!
Trunks: Ami?
Hot Sauce: Oh no!
Vegetto: See? The Ragnal Bodyguard Patrol can help Ami!
Hot Sauce: No!
Gogeta: *kicks Hot Sauce off of him* Unnh...
Trunks: I'll disqualify Hot Sauce right now!
Gogeta: *stands up* No. I can beat him.
Hot Sauce: Ha! Tetsuo and I kicked the crap out of you. You're nothing!
Gogeta: Die! *kicks Hot Sauce down*
Hot Sauce: Ouch!
Gogeta: *elbow drops Hot Sauce*
Hot Sauce: Argh!
Gogeta: Victory Blast! *makes a V sign and shoots a ki blast at Hot Sauce*
*The blast hits Hot Sauce, rolling him over. He begins smoking.*
Michael Cole: Whoa, he's cooked!
Gogeta: *pins the Hot Sauce*
Trunks: 1! 2! 3! Gogeta wins!
Michael Cole: The Ragnal Bodyguard Patrol is in business! I don't believe it!
*Trunks and Gogeta celebrate in the ring. Backstage...*
Sephiroth: *walks into Jessie and James' locker room* Guys?
James: *lying on the ground* Unnh... Jessie...
Sephiroth: What happened?
James: Hot Sauce... came... beat up Jessie... *passes out*
Sephiroth: *gasps*
Jessie: *lying unconscious on the ground, badly beaten* Unnh...
Sephiroth: Wow, that fiend did a number on you two...
*Elsewhere...*
Tetsuo: *staggers around backstage* Stupid RBP...
Hot Sauce: *runs into Tetsuo*
Tetsuo: Hey, you still owe me that title.
Hot Sauce: No way, man! I won it fair and square!
Tetsuo: We had a deal! *kicks Hot Sauce down and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Tetsuo: *takes the Hardcore Title* Trying to cheat on our deal. *laughs*
Sephiroth: *runs past Tetsuo* Hey... isn't that the Hot Sauce?
Tetsuo: Yes.
Sephiroth: *picks him up* You hurt my roomie friends.
Hot Sauce: Unnh...
Sephiroth: Ultima! *blasts Hot Sauce with energy*
Tetsuo: Not bad...
Sephiroth: Thanks. Pale Horse! *turns Tetsuo into a frog, then pins him*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Sephiroth: *puts on the Hardcore Title* All right. *goes into the arena*
*In the ring...*
Michael Cole: The cage has been lowered into the ring. This is the main event! Zell vs. Sephiroth in a cage match!
Tazz: This'll be great!
*"Not The Same" plays. Zell walks down to the ring. He climbs into the cage and immediately goes Holy Trance.*
Zell: Sephiroth's going down!
*"One Winged Angel" hits. Sephiroth walks down to the ring, wearing the Hardcore Title.*
Michael Cole: Whoa! He's got the Hardcore Title!
Sephiroth: *climbs into the cage*
Zell: Hardcore Title, huh?
Sephiroth: That's right.
Zell: Want to make this a title match too?
Sephiroth: That sounds fine.
Tazz: Wow! Sephiroth's putting his Hardcore Title on the line! Now there's the Hardcore Title and a trip to the Sweet 16, both up for grabs in this cage match! This'll be huge!
*bell rings*
Sephiroth: *unsheathes his sword and swings it at Zell*
Zell: *leaps out of the face and kicks Sephiroth's face into the cage*
Sephiroth: Ouch!
Tazz: Oooh, that had to hurt, Cole!
Sephiroth: *kicks Zell down* Deen!
*Sephiroth blasts Zell with rings of energy. Zell rolls over and gets up.*
Zell: Holy Flare!
*The blast of energy sends Sephiroth stumbling back into the cage wall.*
Sephiroth: Grrr... Shadow Flare!
*The powerful Shadow attack knocks Zell into the air. Zell somersaults around and lands on his feet.*
Zell: Not bad...
Sephiroth: I'll beat you the same way I beat Tetsuo. Pale Horse!
Zell: Black Magic Reflect!
*The magical barrier deflects the Pale Horse attack. The status effects are dissipated.*
Zell: Darn it!
Sephiroth: *kicks Zell into the side of the cage*
Michael Cole: Oooh, Zell looks hurt!
Sephiroth: *starts climbing the cage*
Zell: No you don't!
*Zell grabs Sephiroth and pulls him off the cage. Sephiroth slams into the canvas, hard.*
Sephiroth: Argh!
Zell: *stomps on Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: Ack! *slashes Zell on the arm*
Zell: Aaah! *staggers back, holding him arm*
Michael Cole: That sword's injured Zell! Oooh!
Zell: Meteor Rave! *flies up and comes down onto Sephiroth, slamming him up against the cage again*
*Sephiroth slumps against the cage, bleeding profusely.*
Michael Cole: Sephy's been hurt bad!
Zell: *starts to climb the cage*
Sephiroth: No... *grabs Zell by the leg*
Zell: Huh?
Sephiroth: *tosses Zell against the other side of the cage, then stands up* Ha!
Zell: *holds his shoulder* Unnh...
Michael Cole: Both of them are hurt, but neither of them are letting up!
Sephiroth: *runs into Zell, slamming him against the cage wall*
Zell: Argh!
Tazz: Zell's taking a beating out there!
Zell: *punches Sephiroth in the stomach* Now for my ultimate attack!
Michael Cole: Uh-oh!
Zell: My Final Heaven!
*Zell executes a brutal punch and kick combo on Sephiroth, bringing him to his knees.*
Zell: *kicks Sephiroth down* Now to climb the cage!
*Zell starts to climb the cage.*
Tazz: Sephiroth's not getting up!
Michael Cole: Zell's gonna win!
Zell: *reaches the top of the cage and starts to climb over it*
Sephiroth: *gets up* Unnh...
Tazz: Sephiroth is up!
Sephiroth: *climbs the cage and grabs Zell, just as he is about to go over*
Zell: Hey!
Sephiroth: *lifts Zell over his head*
Michael Cole: OH MAN!
Sephiroth: *tosses Zell to the canvas, then climbs over the cage and escapes*
Tazz: Sephiroth won! Sephiroth won! Zell was knocking on the door to the Sweet 16, but Sephy slammed it in his face!
Sephiroth: *starts to walk up the ramp, still holding his Hardcore title*
Zell: *languishes in the ring* Unnh...
Sephiroth: *holds up the title* I'm the man!
Tetsuo: *walks down the ramp, now back to normal* No you're not!
Sephiroth: How did you get healed?
Tetsuo: I'm a psychic! *points at Sephiroth* I will kill you. Very slowly. *grabs Sephiroth by the neck*
Gogeta: *kicks Tetsuo down* Let him go!
Dagger: *stabs Tetsuo* Meanie!
Vegetto: *chokeslams Tetsuo onto the ramp* Whoohoo!
Gogeta: *grabs a mic* The Ragnal Bodyguard Patrol has arrived! Villains beware, because we're the ultimate in protective services, and we are IN BUSINESS!
*The RBP celebrates on the ramp. The PFFA Smackdown! logo appears. Fade to black.*
=======================================
*The PFFA RAW theme song plays in the background as the camera pans into the ring.*
Jim Ross: Welcome to PFFA RAW! We've got some awesome matches lined up for tonight!
Jerry Lawler: That's right! The Hot Sauce has challenge Sephiroth to a Hardcore Title match! Sephiroth already has a match against Mewtwo tonight! Can you say "overworked"?
Jim Ross: And we've got a No Disqualification main event tonight! Tetsuo Shima will be going one-on-one with Aya Brea!
Jerry Lawler: It's gonna be great!
*Backstage, in Ami's locker room...*
Gogeta: Okay, Ami, we'll protect you from that vicious This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster!
Vegetto: That's right!
Trunks: With three Saiyans here, there's no way that fiend can get to you.
Ami: Thank you all so much.
Trunks: By the way... we've got all the stuff for Ry's birthday party, right?
Ami: I decorated the ring this morning! Daisy, Violet, Quatre, and Lily helped me!
*In the ring...*
*Cactus Jack's theme hits as Cactus Cait walks down to the ring, riding his Moogle.*
Cactus Cait: This'll be great!
*The Dreamland theme hits. Kirby floats down to the ring.*
Kirby: Hiiii!!!
Cactus Cait: Uh, hello there.
Kirby: *smacks Cait off of his moogle with his blue sword*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, Kirby's not pulling any punches! Remember, the winner of this match, and all of our other matches, will go to the PFFA Insanity Pay-Per-View this Sunday to participate in a quarter-final match!
Jerry Lawler: That's right! The stakes are huge for this match!
Cactus Cait: *stands up* Uhhh... that hurt...
Kirby: *floats above Cactus Cait and turns into a boulder, squishing him*
Cactus Cait: Argh!
Ref: 1! 2!
Cactus Cait: *pushes Kirby off of him* Ow... my belly hurts... *rolls over* Unnh...
Kirby: *kicks Cactus Cait into the turnbuckle*
Cactus Cait: Ouch!
*Kirby climbs onto the turnbuckle and starts pummeling Cactus Cait's head with his speedy pink fists. He pulls Cactus Cait into the middle of the ring and pins him.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Cactus Cait's Mog: *grabs Kirby* Grrrr! *bodyslams Kirby onto the canvas*
Jim Ross: Oh man, that's gotta hurt!
Cactus Cait: *pins Kirby*
Ref: 1! 2!
Kirby: *kicks out*
Cactus Cait: Take this!
*Cactus Cait loops his arms around Kirby's arms and DDTs him. Kirby lies on the canvas.*
Cactus Cait: Finally! *pins Kirby*
Ref: 1! 2!
Kirby: *kicks out*
Cactus Cait: No way!
Kirby: Yaaaa! *punches Cactus Cait in the face*
Cactus Cait: *falls over*
Jerry Lawler: Whoa!
Jim Ross: This two men are pounding each other! Oh man!
Kirby: *pins Cactus Cait*
Ref: 1! 2!
Cactus Cait: *kicks out*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, I don't believe it! Neither of them can score a pin!
Cactus Cait: *stands up and takes out a slot machine* Here we go!
*Cactus Cait pulls the handle on the slot machine. He lands on three toy soldiers. Suddenly, hundreds of toy soldiers file into the ring.*
Kirby: Wha?
*The toy soldiers point tiny guns at Kirby.*
Kirby: Aaaah! *starts floating up*
Toy Soldiers: *fire at Kirby*
Kirby: Aaaaah! *falls to the canvas* Uhhh....
Cactus Cait: Yay! *pins Kirby*
Ref: 1! 2!
Kirby: *kicks out*
Jim Ross: Incredible!
Kirby: *kicks Cactus Cait into the slot machine*
Jim Ross: That had to hurt!
Cactus Cait: *staggers around*
Kirby: *grabs Cactus Cait's head*
Jim Ross: Oh no! For God's sake, don't do it!
Kirby: *slams Cactus Cait's head through the glass on the slot machine*
Jim Ross: Oh mah gawd!
Cactus Cait: *passes out and falls over*
Kirby: *pins Cactus Cait*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jim Ross: And Kirby's going to Insanity! He's in the Elite Eight!
Jerry Lawler: Wooo, what a match, JR!
*Backstage...*
Sephiroth: *practicing with his sword* Man, this'll be a tough Hardcore match...
Mystic Vaporeon: Don't worry, Sephiroth! You can beat the Hot Sauce. He's not tough!
Sephiroth: I'm more worried about the people that might try to interfere... like Tetsuo...
Mystic Vaporeon: That might be a problem...
Sephiroth: Well, I'm going out there. I think I can win this one.
*In the ring...*
*"One Winged Angel" hits as Sephiroth walks down to the ring, holding his sword.*
Jim Ross: Sephiroth's got a pretty big sword there, King.
Jerry Lawler: All sorts of weapons are legal! This is a Hardcore match!
*"What's Your Fantasy?" hits. Hot Sauce walks down to the ring, carrying a crowbar.*
Jim Ross: Oooh, that's a mean-looking crowbar. Business is really about to pick up!
Hot Sauce: *crawls into the ring* Okay, pretty-boy, I don't have all day. Why don't you just-
Sephiroth: *slams his sword into the top of Hot Sauce*
Jim Ross: Oooh! A nasty sword shot by Sephiroth!
Hot Sauce: Yowie! *holds his head* Oooh...
Sephiroth: *spin-kicks Hot Sauce into the turnbuckle*
Hot Sauce: Argh!
Sephiroth: Shadow Flare!
*Sephiroth's Shadow Flare blasts Hot Sauce into the air and down onto the canvas.*
Sephiroth: *pins Hot Sauce*
Ref: 1! 2!
Hot Sauce: *picks up Sephiroth*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd!
Hot Sauce: Come on now, I almost beat Trunks! You don't really think that-
Trunks: *runs into the ring with a sledgehammer*
Jim Ross: And there's Trunks!
Trunks: *slams the sledgehammer into Hot Sauce*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd! Hot Sauce has been busted open!
Trunks: *slams the sledgehammer into Sephiroth, then pins him*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Trunks: *takes the Hardcore title*
Jim Ross: What was that?
Jerry Lawler: Looks like Trunks just won the Hardcore title! Oh man!
Trunks: *leaves the ring*
Jim Ross: Whoo-hoo!
*Backstage...*
Mike Ragnal: *points at a TV screen* See that? That's the kind of ruthless aggression I want you to do on Alita!
Cloak: Yeah, but she's really powerful... she beat Gogeta for crying out loud!
Mike Ragnal: This is a Table match! All you gotta do is slam her through the table!
Cloak: I know... but... *sighs* Fine.
*Elsewhere...*
Kaura Nighthawk: I don't really need to tell you this, but-
Alita: I'll beat him in less than a minute.
Kaura Nighthawk: Just don't let him put that cloak on you.
Alita: I won't, don't worry.
*In the ring...*
*Undertaker's theme hits as Cloak walks down to the ring. He steps inside, wearing his cloak.*
Cloak: *gulps*
*Alita walks down to the ring to silence. She reaches under the ring, pulls out a table, and sets it up.*
Alita: I suggest we get this over wi-
Cloak: *dropkicks Alita into the table*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd! Alita almost went through the table! That would have been a huge upset!
Alita: Grrr... *grabs Cloak by the neck*
Cloak: Argh!
Alita: *holds Cloak over the table*
Cloak: *kicks Alita hard in the stomach*
Alita: Argh!
*Alita staggers back, dropping Cloak. She drops Cloak onto the table, but not through it.*
Cloak: Whew... *gets off the table*
Alita: Fool! *kicks Cloak into the ring*
Cloak: *lies on the canvas* Unnh...
Alita: *stomps on Cloak's chest*
Cloak: Argh!
Alita: Let's try this again.
*Alita picks up Cloak and holds him above the table.*
Cloak: Aaaah! *tosses his cloak on Alita's head*
Alita: Darn it! *drops Cloak and tries to get the cloak off*
*Cloak lands on the table, but doesn't go through it.*
Alita: Unnh... *starts shivering* C-c-c-can't see....
Cloak: All right! *climbs back into the ring and pushes Alita over the ropes*
Alita: Ack! *slams into the table* D-d-d-d-darn it... *passes out*
Cloak: Yessss! *climbs up on the turnbuckle*
Jim Ross: He's gonna splash her through the table!
Cloak: *leaps off the turnbuckle, but misjudges his leap, missing the table entirely*
Jerry Lawler: All right!
Cloak: Ooooh...
Alita: *wakes up and starts snarling* Grrrr! *takes the cloak off of her head and chews it up*
Jim Ross: Alita's foaming at the mouth! Oh man, she's got rabies!
Cloak: *gets up* Wha?
Alita: *tackles Cloak and starts biting him*
Cloak: Aaaargh! *kicks Alita off of him*
Alita: Grrr! *picks up and table and smacks Cloak with it*
Cloak: Ack! *passes out*
Alita: *chews on Cloak's face*
Jim Ross: Cloak's taking a beating, but remember, he has to be slammed through the table before he loses!
Alita: *roars*
Cloak: Uhhhh... *passes out*
Alita: *drags Cloak into the ring and stomps on him*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, somebody stop the match!
Alita: *starts flashing*
Jim Ross: Eh?
Alita: *stops flashing* My nanotech system flushed the rabies virus from my system. I-
*Cloak tackles Alita.*
Cloak: *now foaming at the mouth*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, when Alita was rabid, she bit Cloak! Now Cloak's got the rabies!
Cloak: *grabs Alita and tosses her out of the ring*
Alita: *hits the concrete outside the ring* I have to end this match now! *sets up the table again*
Cloak: *leaps at Alita*
Alita: I was planning to save this, but... *takes out her Solenoid Cannon*
Cloak: *tackles Alita, knocking the cannon out of her hands* Rarrr!
Alita: *tosses Cloak off of her*
Cloak: *stands up and tackles Alita again, then picks her up and starts growling*
Jim Ross: Oh mah gawd!
Cloak: *snarls and slams Alita right through the table*
Jim Ross: That's it! Cloak's going to Insanity! Mah gawd, what an upset!
Alita: Darn....
Cloak: *tackles Alita and starts biting her*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, get the Animal Control out here!
*Meanwhile, backstage...*
Trunks: Okay, everything's ready!
Ami: Should I bring Ry out to the ring?
Lily: Like, I could do it!
Ami: Okay, you go get Ry! This'll be great!
*In Ry's office...*
Ry: Wow, that was a huge upset! I've got to remember to give Cloak some kudos...
Lily: *walks into Ry's office* Ry?
Ry: Oh, hi, Lily!
Lily: Like, the fans are restless! They want to see you in the ring!
Ry: Really?
Lily: Like, uh... Dr. Evil took ten princesses hostage, and you have to come out to the ring to rescue them!
Ry: Wow! *unsheathes his sword* Let's go, then!
*In the ring...*
*"The Game" hits. Trunks walks out to the ring with Ami.*
Trunks: After you, my dear. *kisses Ami's hand*
Ami: *giggles, then climbs into the ring* Okay, dim the lights!
*The lights in the arena dim.*
Trunks: Now remember, you fans have to be very quiet! We're going to surprise Ry!
Ami: That's right!
*Ry's other roomies, along with several members of the PFFA and their roomies, walk down to the ring.*
Ami: I'm glad you could all come!
Trunks: Here Ry comes!
*Ry walks out onto the ramp.*
Ry: Eh? It's all dark... where are the princesses?
Lily: Like, they're in the ring!
Ry: Okay, I'm coming!
*"Happy Birthday To You" hits.*
Ry: Wha?
Fans and Roomies: *sing "Happy Birthday"*
Ry: Wow!
*The lights in the arena come on.*
Roomies: Surprise!
Ry: WOW!
Trunks: *presses a button and the arena fills with decorations, presents, and a giant cake* Happy birthday, Ry!
Ry: Oh man... *runs down to the ring* This is great! Thanks, you guys!
Lily: Like, I cant believe you actually bought the princess thing.
Ami: *giggles*
Fire Griffin: I practically had to drag Vegeta here...
Vegeta: Quiet, all of you!
Mike Ragnal: What's up, Ry?
Moogleborg: Happy birthday, kupo!
Cait Foleys: Happy birthday!
Mystic Vaporeon: This is gonna be great!
Killerprimeape: We all worked overtime setting up the ring for this party! How do you like it?
Ry: It's great, really!
Ami: Let's party!
*Ry starts to open his presents. Suddenly, The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster's intro begins playing on the Titantron!*
The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster: Happy birthday, Ry!
Ry: You!
TTPCBDM: What a wonderful party this is. I wonder why I wasn't invited.
Ry: Because you're a sick freak! Get the heck out of here!
TTPCBDM: *laughs* I just came here for Ami.
Ry: *snaps his fingers*
Gogeta: *steps up* Get out of here.
Vegetto: Now!
TTPCBDM: *walks right up to the ring*
Gogeta: Do I have to tell you twice? Get-
TTPCBDM: *punches Gogeta in the stomach*
Gogeta: Argh! *passes out*
TTPCBDM: *laughs and floats over to Ry's cake, then blasts it into oblivion*
Ami: I made that!
TTPCBDM: Oh my... Ami... I'm so sorry...
Ami: Get out of here, please!
TTPCBDM: *laughs* You know I can't do that. *blasts Ry's presents into oblivion*
Ry: You are pushing my buttons! I-
TTPCBDM: *superkicks Ry into unconsciousness* Bwahahaha! *floats up to Ami and strokes her face* I'll see you later, my dear. *flies out of the ring*
Trunks: Get back here NOW! *runs after TTPCBDM*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd! That sick, sad*stic page monster just ruined Ry's birthday! Darn him to heck! Darn him! Darn that sad*stic monster!
*In the parking lot...*
TTPCBDM: *gets into a limo* Get me out of here now.
Limo Driver: Yes sir. *drives off*
Trunks: *runs out into the parking lot* Come back here, you coward!
*Back in the ring...*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, we just witnessed that sick, sad*stic This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster ruin Ry's birthday party!
Jerry Lawler: Well, Ry should have invited him, JR!
Jim Ross: *sighs*
*"One Winged Angel" hits. Sephiroth walks out to the ring.*
Sephiroth: *takes out his sword*
Jim Ross: You've got to wonder if Sephiroth is still feeling the effects of that brutal sledgehammer shot by Trunks.
Jerry Lawler: You bet!
*Mewtwo floats out to the ring, holding a ball of energy in his hand.*
Mewtwo: Muwahahaha! I saw you in that Hardcore match, Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: Grrr...
Mewtwo: Trunks really did a number on you! I-
*Sephiroth spins around and slashes Mewtwo's tail off.*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd!
Mewtwo: Argh!!! AAAAH!!!
Sephiroth: *superkicks Mewtwo downs*
Jim Ross: Oh man, poor Mewtwo!
Sephiroth: *pins Mewtwo*
Ref: 1! 2!
Mewtwo: *kicks out* Darn it! My tail!
Sephiroth: *kicks Mewtwo over to the ropes* Think I'm tired out now?
Mewtwo: *stands up* You'll pay for cutting off my tail, you-
*Sephiroth leaps up and kicks Mewtwo over the ropes.*
Jim Ross: Oh man! Oh mah gawd!
Mewtwo: *crawls into the ring*
Sephiroth: *stomps on Mewtwo's head*
Jim Ross: And Mewtwo's taking the beating of his life from Sephiroth!
Jerry Lawler: Guess Sephiroth's still got some gas left after all!
Sephiroth: *kicks Mewtwo into the center of the ring and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Mewtwo: *fires a psychic blast into Sephiroth's eyes*
Sephiroth: Argh! My eyes!
Mewtwo: *stands up* Now it's your turn!
*Mewtwo raises his arms and blasts Sephiroth with a powerful Psybeam. Sephiroth flies into the ropes and bounces off, right into a Mega Kick from Mewtwo.*
Jim Ross: Whoa!
Mewtwo: *pins Sephiroth*
Ref: 1! 2!
Sephiroth: *kicks out* Stupid Pokemon!
*Sephiroth elbows Mewtwo in the face, then spin-kicks him to the canvas.*
Sephiroth: *climbs up onto the turnbuckle*
Jim Ross: Oh no! Don't!
*Sephiroth leaps from the turnbuckle, attempting to splash Mewtwo. Mewtwo blasts Sephiroth with an Ice Beam, freezing him into a block of ice.*
Jim Ross: He's frozen solid!
Mewtwo: *blasts Sephiroth with a Psychic attack, breaking the ice and KOing Sephiroth*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd!
Mewtwo: *pins Sephiroth*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jim Ross: And with that, Mewtwo makes a huge comeback! He's going to be at Insanity!
Jerry Lawler: No way!
*Backstage...*
Aya Brea: *sighs* I have to go into that ring with that monster, Tetsuo...
Fire Griffin: Hoo boy...
Bill: *floats into the locker room* Aya!
Aya Brea: Bill?
Bill: I'm not gonna let Tetsuo hurt you!
Aya Brea: That's nice, Bill... but I don't think that you'll be able to do very much...
Bill: Nonsense! I'll beat the crap of of that meanie!
Aya Brea: Bill, I'm worried... you'll get hurt!
Bill: Tetsuo's gonna get hurt!
Aya Brea: *sighs*
*In the ring...*
Jim Ross: Remember, this main event is No Disqualifications! That means that no matter what that sad*stic Tetsuo does, the ref can't do anything about it! This could get ugly!
*Aya's Theme plays as Aya nervously walks into the ring.*
Aya Brea: Well, here goes nothing...
*Tetsuo's theme hits. Tetsuo walks down to the ring.*
Tetsuo: Mwahaha! You're going down, Brea!
Aya Brea: I'll have to activate this right away....
*Aya slowly begins to levitate into the air. She begins glowing as energy emaninates around her. Her clothes disappear and two large green wings appear on her back.*
Tetsuo: You're using Liberate already? You died the last time you used that, you stupid-
*Aya lunges at Tetsuo and starts punching and kicking at his midsection. Tetsuo screams as the punches and kicks connect, one after the after. He falls over, bruised and bleeding.*
Tetsuo: Argh... that really... hurt... unnh...heh heh...
*Tetsuo's body glows with psychic energy. His bruises disappear.*
Tetsuo: *laughs* I can heal myself! Eat this!
*Tetsuo forms a large psychic spear and hurls it at Aya. Aya dodges to the side.*
Aya Brea: Is that the best you've got?
Tetsuo: Not a chance!
*Several large psychic spears appear. The spears rush at Aya from all sides.*
Aya Brea: No!
*Aya quickly dodges the spears. One of them, however, stabs itself into Aya's arm. She screams out in pain.*
Aya Brea: Argh! *falls to her knees*
Tetsuo: *laughs* Poor, pathetic Aya. Mwahaha! *kicks Aya in the face*
Aya Brea: *hits the canvas*
Tetsuo: *picks Aya up by her hair*
Aya Brea: Aaaah!
Tetsuo: *swings Aya around and tosses her into the turnbuckle*
*Aya Brea smacks into the turnbuckle. She stumbles to her feet.*
Aya Brea: I won't let you hurt anyone in Fire Griffin's cell any more!
*Aya rushes at Tetsuo again and hits him with another flurry of punches and kicks. Tetsuo flops to the ground. Aya quickly pins him.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Aya Brea: *clutches her neck* Can't... can't breathe! Ack! *falls to her knees again*
Tetsuo: My, oh my. Poor Aya. She can't breathe. *laughs*
Aya Brea: *gasps for air*
Tetsuo: That's right. Suffer! *kicks Aya in the chest*
Aya Brea: Argh! *crawls on the ground* Need... air... unnh...
Tetsuo: Mwahaha! *picks up Aya and psychically binds her to the turnbuckle* Now, you just stay right there for a second. *hops out of the ring*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, what is that sick Tetsuo doing? This is sick! Mah gawd, this is sick!
Aya Brea: *coughs for air*
Tetsuo: *grabs a chair out from under the ring*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, what the heck is he doing with that chair?
Tetsuo: *climbs into the ring*
Jim Ross: OH MAH GAWD!
Tetsuo: *smashes the chair into Aya's head*
Aya Brea: Argh!
Tetsuo: Mwahaha! *smashes the chair into Aya's head again*
*Blood starts running down Aya's face.*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, she's been busted open! That sick, sad*stic Tetsuo is beating the living heck out of Aya Brea! Mah gawd, you can't do that to a dang cop! Mah gawd, this is sick! For God's sake, somebody stop this dang match! This is just the sickest dang thing I ever saw! Mah gawd! Mah gawd, this is just sick and disgusting! Hide the dang children! Mah gawd, this is just-
Tetsuo: Shut up, you old fool! *blasts JR in the chest*
Jim Ross: Ack! *passes out*
Tetsuo: *laughs*
Aya Brea: Please... stop...
Tetsuo: *grabs Aya and lifts her into the air* Alright, I'll finish you off. *laughs, then slams Aya hard into the canvas* Now to pin you. Darn, I was really having fun kicking your-
*"Real American" hits.*
Tetsuo: What the-? *turns around*
Bill: *walks down the ramp, waving a USA flag* Hey, you meanie! Stop picking on Aya right now!
Aya Brea: Bill... no...
Bill: *points the flag at Tetsuo* You come down here and face me!
Tetsuo: *laughs* I have no time for you.
Bill: I have time for you, you butthead! *walks into the ring* Feel my wrath! *papercuts Tetsuo*
Tetsuo: *laughs* Is that all you've got? *grabs Bill* I'm going to tear you in half!
Aya: No! Stop! *coughs up blood*
Tetsuo: *stomps on Aya* You be quiet! I'll kill you both!
*Suddenly, a guitar is smashed over Tetsuo's head.*
Tetsuo: Darn it! Who did that?
John Lennon: Who do you think, mate? Y'know, it's not very nice to pick on a lady.
Tetsuo: What's it to you?
John Lennon: It's also not nice to interrupt my Hardcore title match! Take this! *superkicks Tetsuo to the ground, then places Aya on top of him*
Aya Brea: Huh?
John Lennon: Bye! *leaves the ring*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Bill: Yes!
*Aya rolls over and detransforms. Tetsuo and Aya pass out.*
Jerry Lawler: What? Huh?
Bill: *checks on Aya* Oh man...
Jerry Lawler: Because of that obnoxious John Lennon, Aya Brea is going to Insanity! I don't believe it!
*The PFFA RAW logo appears. Fade to black.*
=======================================
*The PFFA Smackdown theme song plays as the camera pans in to the ring.*
Michael Cole: Welcome to PFFA Smackdown! We're just three days away from Insanity, which promises to be the biggest fighting event ever!
Tazz: That's right! But tonight, we've got a huge main event! It's Trunks vs. The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster... in a ladder match! These two go way back, and this battle may be brutal! But first, it's Zebek vs. Magical Mecha Pilot Cute Cathy!
*"Acido Acida" hits as Cathy walks down to the ring.*
Tazz: Remember, the winner of this fight will be going to Insanity to compete in the final eight!
*Zebek walks out to the ring. He crawls inside.*
Zebek: I'm fighting a little girl. This should be easy.
Cathy: Little girl? Easy? Grrr...
*Cathy takes out her Cathy Control Rod. Her Delta Plus Armor magically appears on her.*
Cathy: I'll teach you that I'm not just a little girl! Cathy Punch!
*Cathy lunges at Zebek and tries to punch him. Zebek leaps out of the way and points his assault rifle at Cathy.*
Cathy: Whoa!
Zebek: *fires the rifle at Cathy*
Cathy: Yikes!
*Cathy leaps out of the ring to escape Zebek's rifle fire.*
Zebek: Hey!
Cathy: *grabs a folding chair and hops into the ring*
Ref: *takes the folding chair from Cathy*
Cathy: Hey!
Zebek: *kicks Cathy down and pins her*
Ref: 1! 2!
Cathy: *kicks out* Grrr... you and the ref are so mean! Cathy Punch! *Cathy Punches Zebek in the groin*
Zebek: Agh!
Michael Cole: And a low blow by Cathy!
Tazz: How did the ref not see that?
*Zebek falls to the ground. Cathy pins him.*
Ref: 1! 2!
Zebek: *kicks out* Grrr... *stands up* That was a real cheap shot, you know!
*Zebek points his missile launcher at Cathy and starts firing. Cathy somehow manages to dodge all the missiles.*
Cathy: Yikes! Don't do that anymore!
Zebek: How'd you dodge all those?
Cathy: Just lucky, I guess!
*The Pugnous Cannon appears on Cathy's shoulder.*
Cathy: Now take this!
*Cathy starts firing plasma blasts at Zebek. Zebek counters with his own plasma blasts. The plasma blasts collide, creating a large explosion that knocks both warriors down.*
Michael Cole: And they're both down!
Zebek: *crawls on top of Cathy and pins her*
Ref: 1! 2!
Cathy: *kicks out*
Michael Cole: Oh my!
Cathy: Pugnatore!
*Suddenly, Cathy is inside the huge mech while Zebek is lying down next to it.*
Zebek: *stands up* Holy crap, that thing's huge... *points his rocket launcher at Pugnatore*
Pugnatore: *kicks Zebek down and pins him with its foot*
Zebek: *trying to get out from under Pugnatore's foot* Darn it!
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Cathy: Yessssss! I win! I win!
Michael Cole: That was a rather unorthodox pin... but Cathy's going to Insanity!
Cathy: All right!
*Meanwhile, backstage...*
The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster: Hmmm...
Evil Robot Bill: What's up?
The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster: Tonight, I face Trunks in a match. This could be the perfect opportunity to get Ami.
Evil Robot Ted: But what about the RBP?
TTPCBDM: I'm going to take them out of the equation with a bit of manipulation. *hands the evil robots a picture of Lily Waterflower* Go fetch me this girl.
Evil Robot Bill: Oooh, she's a looker... you planning to marry two girls now?
TTPCBDM: No. I'm going to use her to force Ry to make some... stipulations for the ladder match tonight.
Evil Robot Bill: Oh....
*Meanwhile, in Zelgadis' locker room...*
Tasuki: Oooh, you're fighting Jecht.
Zelgadis: So?
Misty-Blue: He's supposed to be the best blitzball player of all time, and a great fighter to boot.
Zelgadis: I know... I'm confident that my sword skills are at least as good as his, though. Probably better.
Misty-Blue: Well, you're my last roomie in this thing, so you're representing the whole cell!
Tasuki: Yeah! So go out there and win!
*Meanwhile, in Jecht's locker room...*
Spiderman: Jecht, are you sure you should be drinking so much beer before a match?
Jecht: *burps* You can never have too much beer.
Spiderman: *sighs*
Jecht: I'm gonna beat Zelgadis, yup. *burps*
*In the ring...*
*"Jecht's Theme" hits. Jecht walks out to the ring, holding his blitzball.*
Jecht: I'm gonna win!
*"We Are" hits. Zelgadis walks out to the ring.*
Zelgadis: *takes out his sword*
Jecht: *takes out his sword*
Michael Cole: They both have swords!
Tazz: You know what that means!
*Zelgadis swings his sword at Jecht. Jecht parries the slash and leaps up, kicking Zelgadis in the face.*
Zelgadis: *staggers back* Grrr...
Jecht: *kicks Zelgadis in the chest*
Zelgadis: Take this! Freeze Rain!
*A large ball of ice appears in front of Jecht. It begins firing sharp icicles at him.*
Jecht: Argh! *gets scratched and scraped by the icicles* That really hurts! *slashes the large ice ball into pieces* Ow... *falls down*
Zelgadis: *pins Jecht*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jecht: *kicks out* Ha! *spins around and kicks Zelgadis in the face*
Zelgadis: Oooh... *stumbles back to the ropes*
*Jecht runs at Zelgadis and elbows him, sending him tumbling out of the ring.*
Zelgadis: *stands up* Origin of all power,
You who goes through both air and earth,
Gather to my hands and be my power! Dig Volt!
*A large bolt of lightning zaps Jecht.*
Jecht: Argh!
*Jecht's smoking body falls to the ground.*
Michael Cole: That had to hurt!
Tazz: Of course it hurt! Have you ever been hit with lightning before?
Michael Cole: No...
Tazz: Me neither, but it's gotta hurt!
Zelgadis: *crawls into the ring and pins Jecht*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jecht: *kicks out*
Michael Cole: How could he even be conscious after that, let alone able to kick out of it! Holy cow!
Jecht: Unnh... *stands up* You are dead. *kicks Zelgadis down*
Zelgadis: Aaaah!
Jecht: *starts stomping on Zelgadis*
Michael Cole: He's going Stone Cold Steve Austin on Zelgadis!
Jecht: *kicks Zelgadis onto his stomach*
Zelgadis: Unnh...
Jecht: *rolls Zelgadis over and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Zelgadis: *punches Jecht hard in the face*
Jecht: Aaah! My nose! *holds his nose*
Zelgadis: *stands up*
Michael Cole: Uh-oh, here comes another powerful spell!
Zelgadis: You, who floats in eternity and infinity; Origin of all hearts
Everlasting flame of blue; The power sleeping in my soul;
Come, you all, from infinity, and make your judgement now! Ra Tilt!
*Jecht is lit up with blue-white flames.*
Jecht: Aaargh!!!
*Jecht flops around the ring. The spell ends. Jecht comes to a stop, landing near the side of the ring.*
Jecht: Unnh...
Zelgadis: *pins Jecht*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jecht: *puts his foot on the rope*
Ref: *breaks the hold*
Michael Cole: Jecht got his foot up on the rope! What a lucky break!
Jecht: Unnh... *stands up*
Tazz: Wow, that Jecht is a real tough one! Y'know, he'd do pretty well on Tough Enough!
Jecht: Grrr...
*Jecht tosses his blitzball at Zelgadis' head, stunning him.*
Zelgadis: Argh!
Jecht: *kicks Zelgadis up into the air, then somersaults above him*
Michael Cole: It's the Ultimate Jecht Shot!
Jecht: *slams Zelgadis down into the canvas*
Zelgadis: Unnh....
Jecht: *pins Zelgadis*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Michael Cole: And Jecht is going to Insanity!
Tazz: Jecht is one tough guy! If anyone deserves to go to Insanity, it's him! What a match!
*Meanwhile, in Ry's office...*
Ry: I'm going out to the ring to make an announcement.
Gogeta: About us?
Ry: Yes.
Vegetto: Cool.
*Elsewhere...*
Trunks: *holds his Hardcore title* All I have to do to be the PFFA Hardcore champion is to win one last match at Insanity.... against Kaura. I can't believe Ry put me in a match against Kaura... grrr...
*In the ring...*
*"Enter Sandman" hits as Ry walks down to the ring. He grabs a mic.*
Ry: On RAW, the This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster viciously attacked me and ruined my birthday party. Well, he's not going to get away with it. To make sure he doesn't try anything funny during tonight's main event, I'm going to surround the ring with RBP members. If he tries anything funny during the ladder match, the RBP will-
*The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster appears on the Titantron.*
TTPCBDM: Hello there, Ry.
Ry: What do you want?
TTPCBDM: I'm just going to make some suggestions for tonight's match.
Ry: What? I already made the stipulations!
TTPCBDM: Well, I'm going to suggest some new ones.
Ry: But-
TTPCBDM: First, about the Ragnal Butthead Patrol... uh uh. You have to ban them from ringside.
Ry: What? But I said-
TTPCBDM: Second, to raise the stakes a bit... instead of a belt, or a ticket hanging above the ring, I want Ami to be above the ring. The winner of the match gets Ami as well as the trip to Insanity.
Ry: Huh?
TTPCBDM: Of course, these are just my suggestions, but if you don't want to accept them, that's fine too... of course, then your friend will have to pay the price.
*TTPCBDM steps aside to reveal Lily, tied to a chair and gagged. Evil Robot Bill is pointing a gun at her head.*
Lily: Mmmph!
Ry: Lily! You fiend, leave her out of this!
TTPCBDM: Just accept my stipulations, and she'll go free.
Ry: Grrr.... fine, you win. The RBP is banned from ringside during the match, and.... Ami becomes a prize.
TTPCBDM: Bwahahaha!
*The Titantron screen fades to black.*
Ry: Trunks, forgive me...
*Backstage...*
Trunks: Argh! Darn it!
Ami: Ry didn't have a choice, Trunks!
Trunks: *sighs* I know... grrr.... I can beat that monster by myself, though. I know I can!
Ami: Yes... I know you can do it! *kisses Trunks*
*In the ring, a large pole is set up. A 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire is on top of the pole.*
Michael Cole: Wow, that sick monster really backed Ry into a corner!
Tazz: Speaking of corners, this next match will be a doozy! There's a 12 foot pole in the ring, and at the top, there's a barbed wire 2x4, one of the most brutal weapons in wrestling! If either Vegeta or Jessie got their hands on it, this match could get real ugly!
*Vegeta's theme hits as he walks down to the ring. He looks at the 2x4 and laughs.*
Vegeta: I won't need that stupid thing.
*"Maemuki Rocketto-Dan" hits as Jessie walks down to the ring.*
Jessie: Oooh, that barbed-wire 2x4 could really do some damage!
Vegeta: Too bad, because you're not getting it.
*With one swift kick to the head, Jessie is on the canvas.*
Vegeta: *laughs and pins Jessie*
Ref: 1! 2! 2 1/2! 2 3/4! 2 7/8! 2 15/16!
Vegeta: Huh?
Ref: 2 31/32! 2 63/64!
Jessie: *wakes up* Unnh... before the match... I hypnotized the ref... *laughs*
Vegeta: What? *grabs Jessie and holds her up* Well, un-hypnotize him!
Jessie: No way...
Vegeta: Argh! *slams Jessie's face into the pole*
Michael Cole: Jessie's hypnotized the ref again, and Vegeta is not happy!
Vegeta: *slams Jessie into the pole repeatedly, knocking the barbed wire 2x4 off of the pole*
Jessie: *grabs the barbed wire 2x4 and slashes it acorss Vegeta's eyes*
Vegeta: Argh! My eyes! *holds his eyes in pain and drops Jessie*
Jessie: Unnh... *staggers to her feet and starts beating Vegeta over the head with the 2x4*
Vegeta: Do you thinks that hurts me? I-
Jessie: *smacks Vegeta in the eyes with the 2x4*
Vegeta: Argh! *holds his eyes*
Jessie: Hee hee! *begins glowing*
Vegeta: Wha! *glows* Unnh...
Jessie: *hands Vegeta the 2x4*
*Vegeta laughs and begins beating himself with the barbed wire 2x4. His face quickly becomes slashed and scratched. Blood runs down his face.*
Vegeta: Must smack myself with the 2x4! *slams the 2x4 into his crotch* Unnh... *falls over*
Jessie: *laughs*
Vegeta: *comes to* Argh! My face! What did you do?
Jessie: I used mind control on you!
Vegeta: What? Grrr... Impudent fool! Now I'll beat you with the 2x4! *smacks Jessie in the face with the 2x4*
Jessie: Aaaah! You scratched up my beautiful face! You'll pay for that! I-
Vegeta: *superkicks Jessie, then pins her*
Ref: 1! 2! 2 1/2! 2 3/4! 2 7/8!
Vegeta: *gets off of Jessie* Guess I'll have to make you submit! *puts Jessie in an Ankle Lock*
Jessie: Argh! *taps out*
Ref: *is conveniantly looking the other way*
Vegeta: I made you tap out! *releases the Ankle Lock* Take that hypnosis off the ref right now, you- *starts glowing* Unnh... *starts beating himself with the 2x4 again*
Jessie: *stands up* Mwahaha! *kicks Vegeta down and pins him*
Ref: *super-quick count* 1! 2! 3!
Vegeta: *snaps out of the mind control* What happened?
Jessie: I beat you, that's what!
Vegeta: WHAT?
Jessie: *runs out of the ring*
Vegeta: Noooo! Come back here! *chases Jessie*
Michael Cole: What an impressive upset! Jessie is going to Insanity!
Tazz: Coming up next, it's the final match before PFFA Insanity! It's Trunks vs. The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster, in a Ladder Match! It'll be great!
*Backstage, in Ry's office...*
Ry: *sighs* Trunks, I'm sorry, but-
Trunks: You had what you had to do to save Lily.
Ry: That's right.
Ami: Lily, you weren't hurt, were you?
Lily: No... *sighs* Like, Ami, I'm so sorry that I got captured. If it wasn't for me...
Ami: *hugs Lily* It's okay, don't worry! Trunks is going to beat that monster in the ladder match!
Trunks: That's right! I don't need the RBP, or anyone! C'mon, Ami, let's go.
*Trunks and Ami head out to the ring. Meanwhile...*
TTPCBDM: Mwahaha! The stage is set for me to claim Ami, once and for all! There will be no interferences, no nothing! No one can stop me! I will rule all! MWAHAHAHA!
*In the ring...*
Michael Cole: Well, this match is just about to begin!
Ami: *sitting on a platform suspended above the ring* Wow, I've got the best seat in the house...
Tazz: This match'll be huge!
*"The Game" hits. Trunks walks out to the ring and transforms into an SSJ5.*
Trunks: Ami, how are you doing up there?
Ami: Fine! I can see the ring perfectly! It's really great!
Trunks: I'll be up there soon, don't worry!
*The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster walks down into the ring and faces Trunks.*
TTPCBDM: The sooner we get it on in the ring, the sooner I can get it on with Ami! So...
Trunks: Let's get it on! *powers up*
TTPCBDM: Bwahaha! *powers up*
Michael Cole: It's the standard DBZ battle power-up sequence!
Tazz: This could take a while, folks.
*The two finally finish powering up.*
TTPCBDM: Mwahaha! *kicks at Trunks*
Trunks: *dodges the kick at punches at TTPCBDM*
TTPCBDM: *leaps out of the way of the kick and onto the turnbuckle* Come get me, Trunks!
*TTPCBDM fires a small ki blast that hits Trunks in the arm, creating a small burn.*
Trunks: Come down here, or I'm coming up there!
TTPCBDM: As you wish! *leaps at Trunks and kicks him hard in the face, then lands beside him and fires a blast at him from behind*
Trunks: Yaaah! *flies over the ropes and hits the cement outside of the ring* Ugh....
TTPCBDM: *hops out of the ring and grabs a ladder, then crawls back into the ring*
Trunks: *kicks the ladder into TTPCBDM's face* Not yet!
TTPCBDM: *falls over* Ack!
Trunks: *stomps on the ladder and TTPCBDM* Take that! And that!
TTPCBDM: *tosses the ladder off of him, hitting Trunks in the face*
Trunks: Ouch! *staggers back into the ropes*
TTPCBDM: *kicks Trunks over the top rope again* Face it, you can't stop me! *grabs the ladder and sets it up*
Trunks: *leaps back into the ring and kicks TTPCBDM into the ladder, tipping it over* Never say die! *spin-kicks TTPCBDM out of the ring*
TTPCBDM: *hovers outside of the ring* Bwahahaha! *starts firing ki blasts at Trunks*
Trunks: *dodges the ki blasts and leaps out of the ring to attack TTPCBDM* Huh? Where did he-
TTPCBDM: *hits Trunks from behind with a chair* Hah! *spits on Trunks, then crawls back into the ring and sets up the ladder* Time to claim my prize!
Ami: Aaah!
TTPCBDM: *climbs the ladder*
Trunks: Oh no you don't! *fires a huge ki blast at TTPCBDM, blowing up the ladder and sending TTPCBDM flying out of the ring*
Michael Cole: What a blast by Trunks!
Trunks: *grabs another ladder and tosses it inside the ring*
Ami: Trunks, look out!
TTPCBDM: *whacks Trunks with a chair* Bwahaha!
*Trunks falls into the ladder, face first. TTPCBDM drags Trunks off of the ladder, then he grabs the ladder and smashes Trunks' face in it.*
Trunks: Argh!
TTPCBDM: *closes the ladder on Trunks' face again*
Trunks: *starts bleeding from the forehead* Unnh... *goes limp*
TTPCBDM: Bwahahaha! *sets up the ladder and starts climbing*
Trunks: No...
Ami: Trunks!
Michael Cole: That vicious monster is nearing the top!
Trunks: *still lying on the ground, kicks the ladder over just before TTPCBDM reaches the top*
TTPCBDM: Aaaaah! *smacks into the canvas hard*
Michael Cole: Whoa!
Tazz: This fight's really starting to take its toll on these two men!
Trunks: *stands up* Unnh... *grabs the ladder and sets it up*
Tazz: Now Trunks is trying to reach the top!
Trunks: *starts climbing the ladder*
Michael Cole: He could make it!
TTPCBDM: *stands up* Yoink! *yanks the ladder out from under Trunks*
Trunks: Argh!!! *hits the ground*
TTPCBDM: *starts whacking Trunks with the ladder*
Michael Cole: Oh my God, he's using the ladder as a weapon!
TTPCBDM: *starts stomping on Trunks*
Tazz: That's gotta hurt!
TTPCBDM: *sets up the ladder*
Michael Cole: He's starting his climb!
TTPCBDM: *climbs the ladder*
Tazz: Uh-oh!
Trunks: Ka...me...ha...me-
TTPCBDM: *reaches the top of the ladder and starts to grab Ami*
Trunks: HA! *fires a huge ki blast at the top of the ladder*
*The blast hits TTPCBDM and blows up the top half of the ladder. TTPCBDM goes flying. His smoking body lands at the top of the entrance ramp. The broken ladder skids outside the ring.*
Trunks: Unnh... *crawls on the canvas*
Ami: Trunks, get another ladder!
Trunks: *rolls out of the ring and grabs a ladder, then weakly crawls back into the ring*
TTPCBDM: *starts crawling toward the ring*
Trunks: *weakly sets up the ladder*
Ami: Trunks, hurry!
TTPCBDM: *gets to the bottom of the ramp*
Trunks: *starts slowly climbing the ladder*
Tazz: There he is!
Michael Cole: Trunks is gonna do it! He's gonna win this match!
Trunks: *reaches the middle of the ladder*
TTPCBDM: *wearily climbs into the ring* Uh-uh, Trunks... no... you don't... *crawls toward the ladder*
Trunks: *reaches the top step and collapses from exhaustion, hanging on the top of the ladder*
Ami: Trunks, wake up!
Trunks: *wakes up* Unnh...
Ami: Grab my hand!
*Trunks weakly reaches for Ami's hand. But suddenly, he is stopped by an abrupt chair shot. He lets go of the ladder and falls to the canvas, knocked out.*
TTPCBDM: Bwahaha... now... to get Ami... *drops the chair and starts climbing the ladder*
Michael Cole: No way!
TTPCBDM: *reaches the top of the ladder* Mwahaha! Ami is mine!
Ami: No!
Trunks: *wakes up* No... you fiend... you can't have Ami... I won't lose! *kicks the ladder over*
TTPCBDM: Nooooo!!!
*The ladder, and TTPCBDM, fall to the canvas.*
TTPCBDM: Unnh...
Trunks: Argh...
*Trunks and TTPCBDM crawl toward the ladder.*
Michael Cole: These two warriors are completely exhausted!
Tazz: What a brutal match!
*Finally, Trunks weakly stands up. He sets up the ladder and starts climbing.*
Michael Cole: Trunks is turning on the afterburners! I don't believe it!
Trunks: *reaches the top of the ladder* Oh, Ami... I'm so tired...
Ami: Trunks, you've done very well... now grab my hand, and let's get out of here, okay?
Trunks: Yes... *reaches for Ami's hand*
TTPCBDM: Ami... is... mine!
*TTPCBDM fires a blast at Trunks. The blast hits Trunks and throws him off the ladder.*
Ami: Trunks, no!
Trunks: *hits the canvas* Unnh... *passes out*
Michael Cole: The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster saved his last ki blast for the right time, and he's poised for victory!
TTPCBDM: Ha ha ha... *grabs the ladder and starts pulling himself up the steps*
Ami: No! Trunks, get up!
TTPCBDM: *climbs to the top of the ladder*
Trunks: *wakes up* Ami! *tries to get up, but can't* Just... too tired... Ami... I can't... I...
TTPCBDM: *grabs Ami's arm*
Ami: No!!!
*The ladder falls. TTPCBDM falls to the ground, holding Ami.*
TTPCBDM: I got Ami! I win!
Ami: No!
Michael Cole: Oh my God! That monster is going to Insanity, and he's got Ami too!
TTPCBDM: *laughs*
*Suddenly, a barbed-wire 2x4 slams into the back of the monster's head.*
TTPCBDM: Huh? *turns around*
Ami: Sammy?
Sammy: *holding the 2x4* Ami's my friend, and I'm not letting you take her from her true love!
Michael Cole: Oh my God, it's Sammy Tsukino!
TTPCBDM: Trunks doesn't deserve Ami, you little brat! *grabs Sammy by the neck* Now, you die!
Trunks: *superkicks TTPCBDM from behind* That's for Ami!
Ami: Trunks!
TTPCBDM: Unnh... *falls over and passes out*
Trunks: *barely able to stand* He might be going to Insanity, but he'll never get you, Ami. *picks Ami up* Let's go. *turns to Sammy* Hey, thanks, kid.
Sammy: Anything for good friends like you and Ami!
Tazz: Well, The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster may be going to Insanity, but Trunks definately had the last laugh here!
Michael Cole: Insanity in three days! Don't miss it!
*"The Game" hits. Trunks, Ami, and Sammy leave the ring. The PFFA Smackdown! logo apeears. Fade to black.*
=======================================
*"Downfall" hits.*
Kirby: Hiiii!!!
*shows footage of Kirby beating up his opponents*
Kirby: Yaaaah! *slashes one of his opponents with a beamsabre*
Mewtwo: Mwahahaha!
*shows footage of Mewtwo's fights*
Mewtwo: Take this! *fires a psychic blast*
Jessie: *laughs*
*shows footage of Jessie winning a match*
Jessie: *glowing with psychic power*
Aya Brea: Hello there.
*shows footage of Aya beating up Tetsuo in her Liberate form*
Aya Brea: *kicks the crap out of somebody*
The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster: I will rule all that is! Mwahahaha!
*shows footage of TTPCBDM slamming Trunks off of a ladder*
TTPCBDM: Soon, Ami will be mine!
Cloak: Hiyah!
*shows footage of Cloak swinging his cloak*
Cloak: *slams Alita through a table*
Magical Mecha Pilot Cute Cathy: *giggles*
*shows footage of Cute Cathy inside the Pugnatore*
Magical Mecha Pilot Cute Cathy: Artificial Lightning Retribution! *blasts someone with the attack*
Jecht: *burps*
*shows footage of Jecht stomping someone*
Jecht: *hits the Ultimate Jecht Shot on someone*
8 roomies.
But only one can win the Golden Strait Jacket.
For seven others, it will be their downfall...
For one... the ultimate victory.
PFFA INSANITY
*Fireworks go off as the PFFA Insanity theme, "Downfall" plays. The camera pans into the ring.*
Michael Cole: Hello, and welcome to PFFA Insanity!
Tazz: This is the greatest fighting spectacle ever, Cole!
Michael Cole: Tonight, we're gonna see eight roomies battle it out for the Golden Strait Jacket, $1,000,000, and a Dragonball wish!
Tazz: Also, it's some hardcore fighting action as Trunks and Kaura throw down for the Hardcore title!
*Backstage...*
Evil Robot Bill: *sneaks toward Ami's locker room* So, we grab the girl, and get out, right?
Evil Robot Ted: That's right!
Gogeta: What are you two doing?
Evil Robot Bill: Well, uh, you see...
Evil Robot Ted: Run!
*The two evil robots run.*
Gogeta: Nobody's getting to Ami while the RBP are at work!
*Outside the arena...*
Vegeta: Let us in, you fool!
Dr. Briefs' Cat: *purrs* You have to have a ticket to get into this arena.
Tetsuo: Oh yeah?
Dr. Briefs' Cat: That's what the boss told me.
Vegeta: Grrr....
*In the ring...*
*The Dreamland theme hits. Kirby floats down to the ring.*
Tazz: This is a submission match, Cole. To win, you gotta make the other guy tap out!
*Mewtwo walks down to the ring with a stern look on his face.*
Mewtwo: Hello there, Kirby.
Kirby: Hiiii!
Mewtwo: Shut up! *lunges at Kirby*
Kirby: *floats above Mewtwo*
Mewtwo: Eh?
Kirby: *turns into a rock and slams down on Mewtwo's tail*
Mewtwo: Argh! I just grew that back!
Kirby: *keeps applying pressure to Mewtwo's tail*
Mewtwo: Argh!
*Mewtwo gets an anguished look on his face. He looks ready to tap.*
Tazz: He could tap, Cole!
Kirby: *changes back*
Mewtwo: Whew... *grabs Kirby and starts squeezing him*
Kirby: Aaaah!
Tazz: What's Mewtwo doing?
Michael Cole: I think he's trying to pop Kirby!
*Kirby's face turns red. Finally, Kirby manages to float out of Mewtwo's grip.*
Mewtwo: Darn!
*Mewtwo lunges forward with a Mega Punch, slamming his fist into Kirby's face.*
Kirby: Yaaaah! *flies back into the turnbuckle*
Mewtwo: *puts his foot on Kirby and starts smashing him against the turnbuckle*
Michael Cole: That's got to hurt!
Kirby: Grrr...
Michael Cole: Will Kirby tap?
Kirby: *starts sucking Mewtwo*
Mewtwo: Aaah!
*Mewtwo is sucked in. Kirby spits him out.*
Tazz: Look! Kirby has Mewtwo's powers now!
Kirby: Hiii!
*Kirby uses his new tail to grab Mewtwo around the neck.*
Michael Cole: Kirby's locked on with the chokehold!
Mewtwo: *gasps for air*
Tazz: Is Mewtwo gonna tap out?
*Mewtwo places his hand in front of Kirby. He fires a large psychic blast at him*
Kirby: Whoa! *releases the hold and gets hit by the psychic blast* Aaah!
Mewtwo: Now's my chance! Fire Spin!
*Mewtwo starts spinning. Kirby is caught in the powerful fire waves.*
Kirby: Aaah!
Mewtwo: *continues spinning*
Tazz: Will Kirby tap out?
Kirby: Aaaah! *taps out*
Michael Cole: That's it! Mewtwo's Fire Spin has forced Kirby to tap out! Mewtwo's going to the semis!
Tazz: Well, you know what they say. If you can't take the heat, then get the F out!
Michael Cole: Um... something like that.
*backstage, in Ry's office...*
Bill: Ry, please make me the Special Guest Referee for Aya's match! Please!
Ry: Bill, I-
Bill: Please?
Ry: *sighs* Fine... but you have to be fair.
Bill: I will be! I promise!
*Meanwhile...*
Jessie: *in her black bra and panties* How do I look?
James: Oh, you look wonderful, Jessie! You'll beat Aya for sure!
Jessie: *laughs* Yes, I will! I'll beat Aya good! *laughs*
*Elsewhere...*
Aya Brea: *in her bra and panties* These Lingerie matches are so degrading...
Fire Griffin: I know. Look, don't concentrate on that. Just go out there and win the match!
Aya Brea: *nods* All right.
Fire Griffin: Remember, you beat Tetsuo!
Aya Brea: By interference... but yeah, I did beat Tetsuo! Don't worry, I'll do my best. *goes out to the ring*
*In the ring...*
*Jerry Lawler's theme hits.*
Tazz: Huh?
Jerry Lawler: *sits down at the announce table* Whoohoo! Ry's letting me be a guest announcer for this match!
Tazz: You guys don't get to announce until after the first four matches.
Jerry Lawler: Aw, Tazz, don't be such a jerk!
*Aya's theme hits. Aya Brea walks down to the ring.*
Jerry Lawler: Whoohoo! Puppies! Puppies!
Michael Cole: *sighs*
Aya Brea: Uh oh, the pervert is in the announcing booth...
*"Maemuki Rocketto-Dan" hits. Jessie walks down to the ring.*
Jerry Lawler: Alright! Whoohoo! This is gonna be a great match! Whoohoo!
*"I'm Just A Bill" hits.*
Aya Brea: Wha?
Bill: *walks down to the ring* Guess what, Aya?
Aya Brea: What?
Bill: I'm the Special Guest Referee!
Jessie: WHAT?
Aya Brea: Uh, Bill... maybe you shouldn't.
Bill: Nonsense! I'll make sure you win!
Jessie: Oh, no you won't! *starts glowing*
Bill: Unnh.... *eyes turn into hypno-spiral thingies* Aya, you suck! *papercuts Aya on the face*
Aya Brea: Ow! *looks at Jessie* What did you do to him?
Jessie: I hypnotized him!
Aya Brea: That wasn't very nice. *slaps Jessie in the face*
Jessie: Ow! You bimbo! *slaps Aya*
Aya Brea: Bimbo? *slaps Jessie*
Jerry Lawler: Whoohoo! Alright! This is the best match ever! Yaaaaay!
*Jessie forms a ball of psychic energy in her hand.*
Jessie: Take this! *tosses the ball of energy at Aya*
Aya Brea: *leaps out of the way*
Bill: *papercuts Aya*
Aya Brea: Stop that!
Jessie: *laughs*
Aya Brea: *kicks Jessie in the face*
Jessie: Ow! I think you knocked one of my teeth loose!
Aya Brea: Good.
*Aya spins around and kicks Jessie into the turnbuckle.*
Jessie: *hits her head* Unnh...
Bill: *goes back to normal* Huh? What happened? Did you win yet, Aya?
Aya Brea: No... you were hypnotized.
Bill: What? *looks at Jessie* Hypnotizing the ref is bad! You're disquali- *eyes turn into hypno spirals* Unnh... *papercuts Aya* Mwahaha!
Jessie: *stands up* Ha! *punches Aya in the face*
Aya Brea: Aaah! *flies back into the ropes and bounces off of them into a kick from Jessie*
Jessie: Yes!
Aya Brea: *falls over*
Jessie: *pins Aya*
Bill: *quick-count* 1! 2!
Aya Brea: *kicks out* I'm not done yet!
*Aya Brea glows and puts up a Barrier.*
Jessie: *punches Aya, but hits the barrier instead* Hey!
Aya Brea: *laughs*
Bill: Barriers are illegal! Take it down now!
Aya Brea: Sorry.
Bill: Take it down or you're disqualified!
Aya Brea: *sighs* Fine...
*The Barrier disappears.*
Jessie: *laughs and superkicks Aya down*
Aya Brea: *hits the canvas*
Jessie: *pins Aya*
Bill: *quick counts* 1! 2! 3!
Jessie: I win! Yes!
*Jessie leaves. Bill goes back to normal.*
Bill: *looks around* Huh? What happened? Did you win, Aya?
Aya Brea: No. I lost. *leaves*
Bill: Aya? Aya?
Jerry Lawler: *laughs* Hey Bill, you counted Aya out!
Bill: I what?
Jerry Lawler: Whoohoo! *leaves*
Bill: Noooo!!! *floats backstage* Aya, I'm sorry!
*Meanwhile...*
The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster: You couldn't get Ami?
Evil Robot Bill: Sir, the RBP stopped us.
TTPCBDM: Grrr...
Evil Robot Ted: We'll get her this time!
TTPCBDM: *sighs* I have a match next.
Evil Robot Bill: You want us to get Ami then?
TTPCBDM: No. After my match. *leaves*
*In the ring...*
Michael Cole: Well, we've seen the first two matches, and the first two winners.
Tazz: Mewtwo and Jessie will face each other in a Street Fight later.
Michael Cole: But now, a match between The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster and Cloak. A Hidden Dragon match!
Tazz: There's a big dragon hidden under the ring! Get too close, and he'll eat you up! In fact, the only way to win is to feed your opponent to the dragon!
Michael Cole: Sounds gruesome. Let's begin!
*The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster walks into the ring.*
TTPCBDM: Mwahaha! *sees the dragon* Oooh...
*Undertaker's theme hits. Cloak walks out to the ring.*
Cloak: The odds may be against me, but I don't care! You're going down!
TTPCBDM: *laughs* That'll be the day.
Cloak: Grrr...
*Cloak lunges at TTPCBDM and punches at him. The punches are all blocked by error messages.*
TTPCBDM: Oooh, too bad. Try again? *grabs Cloak*
Cloak: What are you doing?
TTPCBDM: *hops out of the ring*
Dragon: *roars*
Cloak: Oh crap...
TTPCBDM: Now to win the match! *starts to heave Cloak to the dragon*
Cloak: *tosses his cloak over TTPCBDM's eyes*
TTPCBDM: Aaah! Can't see! *stumbles around*
Dragon: *chomps at TTPCBDM, but misses*
Cloak: *grabs a chair and smacks TTPCBDM in the head with it*
TTPCBDM: Argh! *holds his head* Darn it!
*TTPCBDM grabs the cloak and feeds it to the dragon.*
Cloak: My cloak!
TTPCBDM: *laughs*
Cloak: Why aren't you getting rabid?
TTPCBDM: Because I- *starts shivering* Unnh... *stumbles back into the ring* I don't feel so good... *foams at the mouth*
Cloak: Yes!
TTPCBDM: Argh! Error! Error! Error!
*A large error message appears.*
Cloak: Wha?
TTPCBDM: *laughs* My error message has nullified your rabies!
Cloak: What?
TTPCBDM: Mwahaha!
Michael Cole: Oh man, that monster just ruined any chance Cloak had of winning this battle!
TTPCBDM: *grabs Cloak* We'll try again.
Cloak: No!
TTPCBDM: *hops out of the ring and tosses Cloak to the dragon*
Dragon: *eats Cloak*
TTPCBDM: Mwahahaha!
Michael Cole: Oh my God! The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster is going to the semifinals! What a gruesome finish!
Tazz: Cole, I'll tell ya, that monster's tough! He belongs on Tough Enough!
Michael Cole: *sighs*
*Backstage...*
Magical Mecha Pilot Cute Cathy: Well, my next match is against Jecht.
Cruton: Jecht's tough, but he's a drunkard. You should be able to beat him.
Cute Cathy: What if him being drunk makes him violent?
Cruton: Well then, you could be in trouble.
Cute Cathy: That's not reassuring!
*In the ring...*
*"Acido Acida hits as Cathy walks down to the ring, already wearing her Delta Power Armor.*
Tazz: This looks like it could be the best match of the quarterfinals!
Michael Cole: Maybe.
*Jecht's theme hits. Jecht walks down to the ring.*
Jecht: *burps*
Cute Cathy: Ew...
Jecht: What's wrong?
Cute Cathy: Grrr... Cathy Punch!
*Cathy's armored fist slams into Jecht's face.*
Jecht: Ow! Man, that hurt, man!
Cute Cathy: Cathy Kick!
*Cathy leaps up and kicks Jecht in the chin, knocking him to the ground.*
Jecht: Unnh...
Cathy: *pins Jecht*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jecht: *kicks out* I'm not losing that easily! *punches Cathy in the face*
Cathy: Ha! My goggles stopped your first! Take this! *kicks Jecht in the groin*
Jecht: Argh!
Tazz: And the low blow!
Michael Cole: The ref didn't see it! He didn't see it! How could the ref not see that?
Tazz: Well, that's because it's an Anything Goes match, Cole.
Jecht: *doubles over* Grrr... that does it, little girl! You're-
Cathy: Little... girl? Argh!
*The Pugnous Shot appears on Cathy's shoulder.*
Jecht: Wha?
Cathy: Eat ions, you!
*Cathy fires off the Pugnous Shot. The large ball of energy hits Jecht in the chest, knocking him back into the ropes. He bounces off the ropes, and right into another Cathy Punch by Cathy.*
Jecht: Unnh... *passes out*
Cathy: Yes! *pins Jecht*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jecht: *gets a shoulder up*
Cathy: Darn it!
Michael Cole: And Jecht gets up a shoulder! This match isn't over yet!
Jecht: *hits Cathy in the chest with a blitzball*
Cathy: Ouch!
Jecht: *leaps up and kicks Cathy down*
Cathy: Ow! *falls to the canvas*
Jecht: *kicks Cathy up into the air*
Michael Cole: Uh oh!
Tazz: You know what's next!
Jecht: *leaps above Cathy and prepares to knock her out with his blitzball* Yes!
Cathy: Pugnatore!!!
*The huge mech appears around Cathy.*
Jecht: Wha? *slams back into the canvas*
Pugnatore: *pins Jecht with its foot*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jecht: Darn it, I got beat by a stupid mecha! This sucks!
Michael Cole: Jecht almost got the Ultimate Jecht Shot, but Cathy activated the Pugnatore at the last second! Great strategy by Cathy!
Tazz: So, the semifinals are like this. Mewtwo will face Jessie, and The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster will face Cathy.
*JR's theme hits. JR and King walk down to the ring.*
Jim Ross: Okay, guys, time's up.
Jerry Lawler: We're commentating the last four matches.
Michael Cole: Aw, we were having fun, too...
*Cole and Tazz leave.*
Jim Ross: *sits down* Coming up next, the semifinals!
Jerry Lawler: But first, the final Hardcore Title match! It's Trunks vs. Kaura, right after this break!
*Backstage...*
The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster: Trunks' match is next.
Evil Robot Bill: It is?
TTPCBDM: That's right. While he's gone, we're going to kidnap Ami.
Evil Robot Ted: You're coming too?
TTPCBDM: Yes. If you want a job done right, do it yourself! *laughs* Ami will be mine!
*Ami's locker room...*
Ami: Oh, I hope Trunks wins his match against Kaura!
Gogeta: Don't worry, I think Trunks can win.
Ami: You do?
Gogeta: No.
Ami: Oh, you're mean!
Gogeta: Sorry...
TTPCBDM: *bursts in*
Ami: You!
Gogeta: Where are the others?
TTPCBDM: You mean Vegetto, Zell, Tidus, and them guys? I kicked the crap out of them.
Gogeta: What?
TTPCBDM: You didn't really think your pathetic RBP could stand up to me, did you? *knocks Gogeta out*
Ami: *gasps*
TTPCBDM: *turns to Ami* Hello there.
Ami: Grrr... you fiend!
TTPCBDM: Fiend?
Ami: I'll get Trunks in here! TR-
TTPCBDM: *kisses Ami*
Ami: *struggles to break free of TTPCBDM's grip, but can't*
TTPCBDM: *stops the kiss* Mwahaha!
Ami: You monster!
TTPCBDM: C'mon, let's go.
*Evil Robots Bill and Ted walk into the room. The three villains grab Ami and carry her away.*
*Outside the arena...*
Vegeta: Come on, let us in!
Tetsuo: I'm gonna kill that Aya Brea!
Dr. Briefs' Cat: Well, Jessie already beat Aya.
Tetsuo: Wha?
Vegeta: Grrr... that ref-hypnotizing cheater witch! I'll kill her!
Dr. Briefs' Cat: Do you have a ticket?
Vegeta: No!
Dr. Briefs' Cat: Then you can't kill her. *purrs*
*In the ring...*
*"The Game" hits. Trunks walks out to the ring, carrying a sledgehammer.*
Jim Ross: Well, business is about to pick up as we watch this match between Trunks and Kaura.
Jerry Lawler: Hardcore match, JR! The winner becomes the undisputed PFFA Hardcore champion!
*"Crawlin'" hits. Kaura walks out to the ring.*
Kaura: I've beaten you so many times before, Trunks. Do you think today will be any different?
Trunks: *goes SSJ5* Well, we'll see. *swings his sledgehammer at Kaura*
Kaura: *parries the attack with his Virosth, then kicks the sledgehammer out of Trunks' hands*
Trunks: Eh?
Kaura: *kicks Trunks back into the ropes*
Trunks: *bounces off the ropes and elbows Kaura in the face, knocking him down*
Kaura: *hits the canvas*
Trunks: *pins Kaura*
Ref: 1! 2!
Kaura: *kicks out, then kicks Trunks in the stomach*
Trunks: Argh! *staggers back*
Kaura: *hops out of the ring and grabs a 2x4*
Jim Ross: What's Kaura planning to do with that?
Kaura: *smacks Trunks over the head*
Jim Ross: Oh mah gawd!
Trunks: *stands up* That really hurt! *kicks Kaura in the groin*
Kaura: Agh! *falls to the ground*
Jim Ross: It's a low blow by Trunks!
Jerry Lawler: That's really gotta hurt, JR!
Trunks: *pins Kaura*
Ref: 1! 2!
Kaura: *kicks out*
Jim Ross: And a near fall!
Kaura: *rolls out from under Trunks and stands up*
Trunks: *hops out of the ring and sets up a table*
Kaura: Trunks?
Trunks: *leaps at Kaura*
Kaura: Trunks, Trunks, Trunks. *spins around and kicks Trunks out of the ring*
Trunks: *slams through the table* Unnh...
Kaura: *pins Trunks*
Ref: 1! 2!
Trunks: *grabs a ball of barbed wire sitting around and scratches Kaura across the face with it*
Kaura: ARGH!
Trunks: *grabs some McDonalds salt and tosses it into Kaura's wounds*
Kaura: MY FACE BURNS! *rolls over, holding his face* Argh!
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, this is sick! Somebody stop the dang match! Kaura's in so much pain!
Kaura: Argh! You're gonna pay for that, Trunks! *looks around* Can't see! Darn it!
Trunks: *starts beating Kaura with a trash can*
Jim Ross: This is just sick!
Kaura: Unnh... *rolls over*
Trunks: *pins Kaura*
Ref: 1! 2!
Kaura: *kicks out*
Jim Ross: I don't believe it!
Kaura: *starts kicking Trunks in the groin*
Trunks: Ack! *falls over*
Kaura: *grabs the barbed wire ball* Let's see how you like it! *rubs Trunks' face with it*
Trunks: Yowww!
Kaura: *tosses salt in Trunks' face*
Trunks: ARGH!
Kaura: *stomps on Trunks*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, this is a dang beatdown!
*Kaura and Trunks lie on the ground, bloodied.*
Jim Ross: Remember, Mewtwo and Jessie are going to be in a Street Fight next, and folks, this is what street fights are like, only a lot more violent!
Jerry Lawler: MORE violent? Than this? Whoohoo, it'll be great!
Kaura: Unnh... *rolls on top of Trunks*
Ref: 1! 2!
Trunks: *kicks out, then rolls on top of Kaura*
Ref: 1! 2!
Kaura: *kicks out*
Jim Ross: I don't believe it!
Trunks: Unnh...
Kaura: *grabs his Virosth*
Jim Ross: Kaura's got his sword!
Kaura: *takes the hilt of the Virosth and slams it into Trunks' forehead*
Trunks: Unnh... *passes out*
Kaura: *pins Trunks*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jim Ross: What a match! Kaura is the PFFA Hardcore Champion!
Kaura: Whew... *limps off*
Trunks: *wakes up and stands up* Unnh... gotta go to hospital now... *goes backstage*
*Backstage, in TTPCBDM's locker room...*
Ami: *tied to a chair* You can't keep me here!
TTPCBDM: Why not?
Ami: Trunks will find me!
TTPCBDM: *laughs* Ami, why do you choose to stay with Trunks? I love you! You should be with me, not that pathetic Saiyan!
Ami: You wouldn't understand. You'll never understand!
TTPCBDM: Eh?
Ami: I love Trunks! I love him more than anything... when I'm around him, I feel complete! I feel incredible! Trunks and I have a special bond! We can even speak telepathically to each other! I'm telling him right now where-
TTPCBDM: No, you're not. I put a barrier on the door. You can't speak telepathically to anyone!
Ami: Grrr....
TTPCBDM: Ami... I love you...
Ami: No you don't!
TTPCBDM: *pulls out his Ami shrine* Know what this is?
Ami: *gasps* I don't believe it...
TTPCBDM: Ah yes, it's a shrine to you, my dear. I remember when I snuck into your cell at night and cut off this piece of your hair. *points to it* Or when I took this. *holds up a locket*
Ami: Trunks gave that to me! You stole it!
TTPCBDM: Trunks gave that-
Ami: You're a sicko! A freak! You're an obsessed pervert! You're stalking me! I hate you! You-
TTPCBDM: *kisses Ami hard on the lips*
Ami: Mmmph!
TTPCBDM: *stops the kiss*
Ami: *spits onto the ground* You're sick!
TTPCBDM: Sick? Mwahaha!
Ami: *starts to cry*
*Meanwhile...*
Trunks: *sees Gogeta on the ground* What happened to you?
Gogeta: The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster... came... he took Ami!
Trunks: What?
Gogeta: *sees Trunks' bloody face* What happened to you?
Trunks: Kaura Nighthawk tried to give me plastic surgery.
Gogeta: *laughs*
Trunks: Grrr... I'm going to find that stupid monster!
*Meanwhile...*
Mystic Vaporeon: Jessie, I can't believe you got all the way to the semi-finals! I'm so proud of you!
James: Me too!
Jessie: This'll be the year one of MV's roomies wins the tournament! I promise!
James: Good luck!
*Meanwhile...*
Mewtwo: Mwahaha!
Mew: Grrr... stupid Mewtwo... *fumes*
Mewtwo: Now now, Mew, maybe next year!
Mew: Grrr...
Myuu: *huggles Myuu* Don't worry, Mew! One day, a Mew will win the tournament!
Mew: Thanks, Myuu-kun! *huggles*
Ryuko: Go Mewtwo!
*In the ring...*
Jim Ross: Well, this ring has been set up for a Street Fight! Weapons are scattered everywhere, including panes of glass to smash your opponent through!
Jerry Lawler: Whoohoo! So much violence! This'll be great!
Jim Ross: Anything goes in a Street Fight, so this could get VERY bloody. If you have kids, I suggest getting them out of the room.
Jerry Lawler: Here they come!
*Mewtwo floats down to the ring.*
Mewtwo: Wow... so many weapons. *grabs a metal baseball bat*
*"Maemuki Rocketto-Dan" hits. Jessie walks down to the ring.*
Jessie: *grabs a 2x4 covered with barbed wire* I beat Vegeta with this. Guess it'll work here too!
Mewtwo: Mwahaha! *swings the baseball bat at Jessie*
Jessie: *parries with the barbed wire 2x4*
Jim Ross: And this looks like it might turn into a fencing match!
Mewtwo: *stomps on Jessie's foot*
Jessie: Ow!
*Mewtwo takes advantage by slamming his metal baseball bat into Jessie's skull.*
Jessie: Argh! *holds her head*
Jim Ross: Oh mah gawd, she's been busted open! She looks like she's had bahbecue sauce poured on her head!
Jerry Lawler: Bahbeque sauce?
Jessie: That hurt! *scratches the 2x4 across Mewtwo's forehead*
Mewtwo: Ack! *holds his forehead*
Jessie: *kicks Mewtwo in the stomach*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd!
Jessie: *slams Mewtwo's face into the turnbuckle*
Jim Ross: This street fight's well underway! Jessie's making good use of the turnbuckle!
Jessie: *kicks Mewtwo in the back, sending his head into the stairs leading to the ring*
Mewtwo: Unnh!
Jessie: *keeps slamming Mewtwo's head into the stairs*
Jim Ross: Mewtwo's being beaten like a government mule!
Mewtwo: *grabs Jessie's leg with his tail*
Jessie: Aaah! *trips, bashing her head into the cement*
Jerry Lawler: Hey! You can't do that to a hot girl!
Jessie: *rolls away from Mewtwo and grabs a glass bottle*
Jim Ross: Uh-oh!
Jessie: *smashes the bottle on the announce table* Bring it! *thrusts the broken bottle at Mewtwo*
Mewtwo: Yikes! *leaps back*
Jessie: *stabs Mewtwo with the broken bottle*
Mewtwo: Argh! *doubles over*
Jessie: *kicks Mewtwo down and pins him*
Ref: 1! 2!
Mewtwo: *kicks out and grabs a folding chair*
Jim Ross: This could get ugly!
Mewtwo: *smacks Jessie's head with the chair*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd! This is sickening!
Jessie: *falls over*
Mewtwo: *continues to beat Jessie with the chair*
Jim Ross: Jessie's taking a hellacious beating from Mewtwo!
Mewtwo: *pins Jessie*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jessie: *kicks out*
Mewtwo: *grabs the barbed wire 2x4 from Jessie*
Jim Ross: No, don't do it!
Mewtwo: *smacks Jessie's face with the barbed wire 2x4*
Jim Ross: Oh, for the love of God, no!
Jessie: Aaah!
Mewtwo: *pins Jessie again*
Ref: 1! 2!
James: *smashes a glass swan over Mewtwo's head* Get away from my Jessie, you!
Mewtwo: *blasts James back with a Psybeam*
James: Aaah! *skids on the ground*
Jessie: Hey! Don't hurt James! *blasts Mewtwo in the eyes with a psychic blast*
Mewtwo: *drops the 2x4 and clutches his eyes* Gah!
Jessie: *grabs Mewtwo and carries him up the ramp*
Jim Ross: What's she doing?
Jessie: *tosses Mewtwo through a glass panel*
Jim Ross: OH MAH GAWD!
Jessie: Now for the finisher! *charges up a huge psychic blast*
Jim Ross: This can't be what I think it is...
Jessie: *fires the blast into the glass panel*
*Jessie's blast fills up the small space Mewtwo is in, blasting him with energy and blasting him back through the other glass panel. Mewtwo skids down the ramp.*
James: All right!
Mewtwo: Unnh... *passes out*
Jessie: *pins Mewtwo*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Jim Ross: And Jessie's going to the finals! I don't believe it! What an incredible Street Fight! This has been an absoulute war between these two psychics, King!
Jerry Lawler: Whoohoo! A babe's gonna be in the finals, JR! Isn't it great?
*Backstage, in TTPCBDM's locker room...*
TTPCBDM: *laughs* Well, well, well, I'll be facing Jessie in the finals.
Ami: How do you know Cathy won't beat you?
TTPCBDM: What? Cathy'll never beat me!
Ami: You're going to lose. I know it!
TTPCBDM: Shut up!
Ami: *cries*
TTPCBDM: Aw... I'm sorry.
Ami: No you're not! No matter what, I'll always hate you!
TTPCBDM: I'm going out to my match now.
Ami: Trunks will come for me, I know it! You'll be sor-
TTPCBDM: *kisses Ami again* Love means never having to say you're sorry! Mwahaha! *tapes Ami's mouth shut* Sorry I have to do this, but I can't have you screaming for Trunks while I'm gone!
Ami: Mmmph!
*The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster leaves his locker room and locks the door. Meanwhile...*
Trunks: *looks around* Darn it, I can't find Ami anywhere!
Magical Mecha Pilot Cute Cathy: *walks past Trunks*
Trunks: Hey!
Cathy: Eh?
Trunks: Have you seen Ami around?
Cathy: No, I haven't.
Trunks: You're fighting The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster next, aren't you?
Cathy: That's right.
Trunks: You have to beat him.
Cathy: I'll try my best, but what's it to you?
Trunks: That fiend kidnapped Ami!
Cathy: Oh. Well, don't you worry. I fight for justice, and kidnappers like The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster will not go unpunished!
Trunks: Great!
Cathy: I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for the world.
Trunks: I know...
Cathy: You act like I'm doing it for you.
Trunks: Well-
Cathy: You're selfish! *kicks Trunks in the groin*
Trunks: Argh! *doubles over*
*Meanwhile, in Jessie's locker room...*
Mystic Vaporeon: *bandaging Jessie up* That was great!
James: Yeah!
Jessie: Thank you. And thanks for your help, James.
James: Anything for you, Jessie! *kisses Jessie*
Mystic Vaporeon: Wow, I haven't had a roomie this close since Lina back in RT2!
Lina Inverse: I almost beat that baka Tasuki... grrr...
*Meanwhile, near the entrance...*
Vegeta: I can't believe we managed to get two tickets from that scalper.
Tetsuo: We beat him up and stole two tickets from him, monkey-boy.
Vegeta: Whatever, forehead-boy.
Tetsuo: After we get revenge on Jessie and Aya, you are SO dead, monkey-boy.
Vegeta: Shut up, forehead-boy.
*In the ring, a large cage is hanging in the air.*
Jim Ross: We're about to witness what could be the greatest fight of all time. It's the most violent, vicious fight ever concieved: Hell In A Cell.
Jerry Lawler: That's right, JR! And we've got two tough fighters going in there!
Jim Ross: That's right, King. The This Page Displayed Monster, who you just saw with his captive, Ami, is one of the most evil, terrifying fiends in the history of the universe. Magical Mecha Pilot Cute Cathy is an extremely tough and brave heroine, and she might be the most powerful bishoujo in existance. I think that I'm very right in saying that this could be the greatest, most bloody fight ever.
Jerry Lawler: And here they come! The two victims, er, warriors! Once the cell closes, there's no escape!
*The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster walks into the ring with a huge smile on his face.*
TTPCBDM: After I win, I'm going to celebrate by making out with Ami! Mwahahaha!
*"Acido Acida" plays. Magical Mecha Pilot Cute Cathy walks into the ring wearing her Delta Plus Armor. When she sees the huge cage, she gulps.*
Cathy: Oh man... this is a bit scary...
Jerry Lawler: Isn't Cathy cute? And hot, JR?
Jim Ross: King, you pervert.
Cathy: *steps into the ring* Alright, you kidnapping fiend! I, Magical Mecha Pilot Cute Cathy, will make you drink from the bitter well of justice!
*The cage begins to lower as fire starts glowing around the cage.*
Jim Ross: Hell In The Cell is about to begin! There's no escape now!
*The sixteen-foot high cage lowers completely. Cathy and TTPCBDM are now trapped in the cage.*
Jim Ross: And here we go!
Cathy: *points at TTPCBDM* You're a fiend! Cathy Punch!
*Cathy punches at TTPCBDM. The punch is blocked with an error message.*
TTPCBDM: Bwahaha! You think you can hurt me with your pathetic punches? *kicks Cathy into the cage wall*
Cathy: Aaah!
*Cathy flies back into the wall of the cage. Fortunately, her Delta Plus Armor protects her from damage.*
Cathy: Lucky break! I-
TTPCBDM: *flies at Cathy and hits her with a flurry of punches*
Cathy: Aaaah!
Jim Ross: And The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster is taking control of this match!
Jerry Lawler: C'mon, Cathy, fight back!
Cathy: *leans up against the cage, weak from TTPCBDM's punches* Unnh...
TTPCBDM: Bwahaha! *pins Cathy*
Ref: 1! 2!
Cathy: *kicks out* I'm not done yet, you fiend! *kicks TTPCBDM in the face*
TTPCBDM: Ack!
Cathy: Pugnous Cannon!
*Cathy's large cannon appears on her shoulder.*
Cathy: Seal Mark!
*A large net blasts out of the cannon and encases TTPCBDM.*
TTPCBDM: Argh! *starts to fade away as the net flashes*
Jim Ross: What's happening?
Jerry Lawler: She's sealing him away!
TTPCBDM: *disappears*
Jim Ross: Is that it?
Cathy: I think I got him!
*Suddenly, a bright flash appears. The flash explodes, and in the center of the explosion is TTPCBDM.*
TTPCBDM: Mwahaha! Welp, I destroyed that dimension!
Cathy: WHAT?
TTPCBDM: How's it feel to have doomed a dimension to destruction by me? *laughs*
Cathy: You monster! Ion Finisher!
*A huge lightning bolt is blasted out of the Pugnous Shot. Before it hits TTPCBDM, an error message blocks it.*
TTPCBDM: Whoops, error! This Page Cannot Be Displayed! Too bad!
Cathy: *gasps*
TTPCBDM: Wanna hit Refresh? *grabs Cathy by the neck*
Cathy: Argh!
Jim Ross: Mah gawd! She's just a little girl! For God's sake, don't do it!
TTPCBDM: *rubs Cathy's face against the cage wall*
Cathy: Aaaah!
TTPCBDM: *tosses Cathy to the ground and pins her*
Ref: 1! 2!
Cathy: *kicks out*
Jerry Lawler: Huh?
TTPCBDM: Wha?
Jim Ross: Ah don't believe it!
Cathy: *stands up and points at TTPCBDM* I'll never give up! Your evil must be destroyed!
TTPCBDM: *laughs* That's so cheesy, you know it is.
Cathy: PUGNATORE!
Jim Ross: That won't fit in the cage!
*The mecha appears around Cathy. However, it is 6 times smaller than normal.*
Cathy: I created the Pugnatore out of subspace, remember? Making it smaller shouldn't be too hard for a genius like me!
TTPCBDM: Well, smaller mech means easier fight.
Cathy: No. The Pugnatore may be smaller, but it still retains its original power. You see-
TTPCBDM: SHUT UP! *blasts Pugnatore with a ki blast*
*The blast hits the Pugnatore, blasting it back into the other side of the cage.*
Cathy: Yikes!
*The Pugnatore's jet wings appear. It flies at TTPCBDM, blaster in hand.*
Cathy: Take this!
*Cathy fires several plasma blasts at TTPCBDM.*
TTPCBDM: *blocks them with error messages* Haven't you learned anything?
Pugnatore: *parks in the ring*
Cathy: Hmm... how can I keep his error messages from appearing? Maybe if I-
TTPCBDM: *kicks the Pugnatore into the air*
Pugnatore: *bounces off the top of the cage and falls into the ring*
Cathy: HEY! I'm trying to think! Now, let's see... wait, I know!
*Pugnatore points at TTPCBDM and fires a small laser out of its finger. The laser is blocked by an error message.*
TTPCBDM: Mwahaha! Whatever that was-
Cathy: It was a DNA-plasma enhanced computer virus!
TTPCBDM: Eh?
Pugnatore: *punches TTPCBDM in the face*
TTPCBDM: *tries to form an error message, but can't* What?
Cathy: If you have the power of good, you can do anything!
TTPCBDM: I don't understand!
Cathy: Time to finish you off!
*Pugnatore starts spinning around as an overly cheesy anime sequence plays. Pugnatore stops.*
Cathy: Artificial... Lightning... Retribution!
*Pugnatore fires a huge blast out of its cannon, hitting TTPCBDM.*
TTPCBDM: Argh! Nooooo! *falls down, out of commision* Unnh...
*The Pugnatore disappears. Cathy walks over to TTPCBDM and pins him.*
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Cathy: *strikes a victory pose* Good always wins!
Jim Ross: That's it! It's gonna be Jessie and Cathy in the finals! We'll have our first female PFFA Roomie Tournament Champion!
TTPCBDM: No! *throws a temper tantrum* No! No! No!
*The cage raises. Trunks runs out to the ring, carrying a sledgehammer.*
Trunks: Okay fiend, where's Ami?
TTPCBDM: *gets up* You'll never catch me! *runs backstage*
Trunks: *chases TTPCBDM*
Jim Ross: And The This Page Cannot Be Displayed Monster is running like a scalded dog!
*Backstage...*
Trunks: *chases TTPCBDM*
TTPCBDM: Aaaah!
Evil Robots Bill And Ted: *walk up to Trunks* You'll never catch the-
Trunks: *blows them up with a ki blast*
TTPCBDM: Aaah!
Trunks: *chases TTPCBDM*
TTPCBDM: *runs until he bumps into Vegeta and Tetsuo*
Vegeta: Hello there.
Trunks: Dad!
Vegeta: *grabs TTPCBDM* Didn't you take my Hardcore title a while back?
TTPCBDM: Lemme go!
Vegeta: You kidnapped my son's wife. No one abducts the wife of a royal-blooded Saiyan and gets away with it! *blasts the TTPCBDM into oblivion with a Final Flash*
Trunks: Thanks, dad...
Vegeta: I'm here to beat the crap out of Jessie.
Trunks: Uh, she's in the final match...
Vegeta: I know that! Come on, Tetsuo, let's go to the ring.
*Vegeta and Tetsuo walk to the ring.*
Trunks: Ami? Ami, where are you? *starts to focus in on Ami's ki* Let's see here... *points* That locker room! *runs up to TTPCBDM's locker room and tries the door* It's locked. Hiyah! *kicks the door down*
Ami: (Trunks?)
Trunks: Ami! *runs over to Ami and takes the tape off of her mouth* You okay?
Ami: Yes, I am... thanks to you.
Trunks: *unties Ami* What's this? *sees the Ami shrine*
Ami: That fiend was obessed with me... he even built a shrine to me...
Trunks: *picks up the locket* Ami, didn't I give this to you?
Ami: That monster stole it.
Trunks: Well then... *puts it around Ami's neck* I'm giving it back to you.
Ami: Trunks... I love you so much.
Trunks: I love you too, Ami.
*Trunks and Ami kiss.*
*In the ring...*
Jim Ross: Well, isn't that romantic?
Jerry Lawler: Sure is, JR!
Jim Ross: But now, enough of the romance. Coming up next, Jessie Musashi Rocket and Magical Mecha Pilot Cute Cathy are about to descend through the Three Layers Of Hell. The first layer is a straight match, except that the ropes on the ring are surging with electricity! If either of the contestants touch the ropes, they'll be electrocuted with 100,000 volts! The next layer is a brutal Street Fight. Jessie's already gone through one of those today, so it'll be very interesting to see how she does in another one. Finally, if both of our warriors are tied at one fall each, the final layer of Hell is a ladder match. That's right, a ladder match. The Golden Strait Jacket will be hanging above the ring. The first person to take it down and put it on will become the PFFA Roomie Tournament 5.5 Champion, and will recieve the strait jacket, $1,000,000, and a wish from the Dragonballs! That match will begin, next.
*"Downfall" plays as various scenes from the tournament are displayed.*
Jessie Rocket and Magical Mecha Pilot Cute Cathy have fought many battles. But now, they have reached the end of the road. The final battle. Jessie and Cathy will clash in one monumentous confrontation. The winner will recieve the coveted Golden Strait Jacket, $1,000,000, a Dragonball wish, and the title of Roomie Tournament 5.5 Champion.
*The music stops.*
However, to get the Golden Strait Jacket, Jessie and Cathy must do something that no roomies have ever had to do, nor dared to do before.
To get the prize, Jessie and Cathy will have to cross... the Three Layers Of Hell.
Layer One: A brutal Electrified Ring Rope Match.
Layer Two: A bloody Street Fight.
And Layer Three: A Ladder Match that will take these two warriors to the limit.
One of them will win and be glorified forever. The other will languish in the agony of defeat.
If they survive.
*"Downfall" stops playing. The camera pans into the ring where an electrical device has been hooked up.*
Jim Ross: The time has come! The PFFA Roomie Tournament Championship is set to begin!
Jerry Lawler: Best of three falls! Whoohoo, this match'll be great!
Jim Ross: The match begins in...
Crowd: 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!
*The lights dim. "Maemuki Rocketto-Dan" hits. Jessie walks down to the ring.*
Jessie: I'm getting that prize!
*Jessie climbs into the ring. "Acido Acida" hits. Magical Mecha Pilot Cute Cathy, already in her Delta Plus Armor, walks down to the ring.*
Cathy: *climbs into the ring* Jessie, to a good match! *shakes Jessie's hand*
Ref: *flips a switch* The ropes are now flowing with electricity!
Jim Ross: There's no escape now!
Jessie: I don't need to escape!
*A ball of psychic energy appears in each of Jessie's hands.*
Cathy: Whoa!
Jessie: *tosses the energy balls at Cathy*
Cathy: Yikes! *falls to the ground*
Jessie: *pins Cathy*
Ref: 1! 2!
Cathy: *kicks out* Grrr... *kicks Jessie back into the ring ropes*
Jessie: Yikes! *stops herself just before she touches them* That was cheap!
Cathy: *stands up* Cathy Punch! *punches at Jessie*
Jessie: *swings her head to the side*
*Cathy's fist continues past Jessie, almost touching the electrified ring ropes.*
Cathy: Whoa!
Jim Ross: And another close call!
Jessie: *spins around, trying to kick Cathy into the ropes*
Cathy: *ducks*
*Jessie's foot smacks right into the ring ropes.*
Jessie: *gets shocked* Aaaaah! *falls over*
Cathy: Yes! *pins Jessie*
Ref: 1! 2! 2 1/2! 2 3/4!
Cathy: Darn it! *Cathy Punches the ref, knocking him out of Jessie's hypnosis*
Ref: *shakes his head* Wha? *sees the pin* 1! 2!
Jessie: *kicks out*
Jim Ross: The extra time that the hypnotized ref gave Jessie helped her out greatly!
Jerry Lawler: Well duh, JR!
Jessie: *stands up* That shock really hurt! *grabs Cathy* How would you like it, huh? *tosses Cathy into the ropes*
Cathy: Argh! *gets shocked* Unnh... *slides to the canvas*
Jessie: *pins Cathy*
Ref: 1! 2! 3! *de-electrifies the ropes* First fall... Jessie! *tosses various weapons outside the ring*
Jim Ross: And Jessie uses the ropes to get the first fall of the match! One more fall, and Jessie wins!
Jessie: *climbs out of the ring and grabs a barbed wire 2x4*
Cathy: *wakes up* Wha? *sees Jessie with the 2x4* Yikes! *crawls out of the ring*
Jessie: *runs at Cathy with the 2x4*
Cathy: Cathy Kick! *kick the 2x4 out of Jessie's hand*
Jessie: Hey!
Cathy: Cathy Punch!
*Cathy's metallized fist strikes Jessie in the face. Jessie staggers back.*
Jessie: *wipes blood from her nose* Ow...
Cathy: *picks up a trash can lid* Hmm... *slams it into Jessie's face*
Jessie: Aaah! My beautiful face! *falls down*
Cathy: *pins Jessie*
Ref: 1! 2!
Jessie: *kicks Cathy off of her* Take this!
*Jessie blasts Cathy with a blast of psychic energy. Cathy flies back into the announce table.*
Jim Ross: Whoa! A little close there!
Jerry Lawler: Whoohoo! Cathy's hot!
Cathy: *stumbles over to Jessie* Cathy Pu-
Jessie: *kicks Cathy into the ring post*
Cathy: *hits her head* Ow!
Jim Ross: Jessie could be very close to being the next Roomie Tournament champ!
Jessie: *picks up a flowerpot*
Cathy: A flowerpot?
Jessie: *smacks Cathy in the face with the flowerpot*
Cathy: Yowie!
Jessie: *forms a hammer out of psychic energy* Hiyah! *smashes Cathy in the head with the hammer*
Cathy: Argh! *falls to the ground*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, it could be all over for Cathy!
Jessie: *pins Cathy*
Ref: 1! 2!
Cathy: Pugnatore!
*Suddenly, Cathy is encased by her giant mecha. Jessie slides off.*
Jessie: Holy crap!
Pugnatore: *stomps at Jessie*
Jessie: Yikes! *runs away, firing psychic blasts at the mech as she runs*
Cathy: Let's get her, Pugnatore!
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, this is a dang mismatch!
Pugnatore: *fires plasma blasts at Jessie*
Jessie: *rolls under the ring* Whew... *grabs a spike strip* This might work! *tosses out the spike strip*
Cathy: That won't work, silly! Pugnatore doesn't have wheels! I-
Pugnatore: *trips over the spike strip*
Cathy: Yaaaaah!
*The huge mech falls to the ground with a great crash.*
Jerry Lawler: Whoa!
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, this match could be over!
Jessie: *crawls on top of Pugnatore, pinning it*
Ref: 1! 2!
Pugnatore: *rolls over on top of Jessie*
Jessie: Argh!
Ref: 1! 2! 3! Second fall goes to Cathy!
Jim Ross: This match is tied at one fall a piece!
*The Golden Strait Jacket lowers from the ceiling, hanging about 20 feet above the ring.*
Jim Ross: And there it is! The first one to put on that strait jacket wins the match!
*The Pugnatore disappears.*
Cathy: I can't climb a ladder with a mecha. I'll have to win this on my own!
Jessie: Unnh...
Cathy: She's still stunned from being under Pugnatore! This is my chance!
*Cathy crawls under the ring and pulls out a ladder. She gets into the ring and sets it up.*
Jim Ross: And here she goes!
Cathy: *starts climbing the ladder*
Jessie: Unnh... *crawls into the ring* No you don't!
*Jessie fires a psychic blast at the ladder. Cathy and the ladder fall to the canvas.*
Cathy: *stands up* Hey! I was about to win!
Jessie: *stands up* Not yet, you aren't!
*Jessie spins around and kicks Cathy in the face. Cathy trips over the ladder and falls down in the ring.*
Cathy: My ankle! I think it might be sprained!
Jim Ross: Uh oh! If Cathy sprained her ankle tripping over the ladder, it could be all over!
Jessie: *hops out of the ring and grabs a chair*
Jim Ross: Oh mah gawd! Don't do it!
Jessie: *holds her chair above Cathy's ankle* No... I can't do it. *tosses the chair away*
Cathy: Ha! *legsweeps Jessie*
Jessie: Aaah! *falls onto the chair, face first*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, what a dirty trick!
Jessie: *stands up* How dare you! *kicks Cathy in the stomach*
Cathy: Argh! *doubles over*
Jessie: *sets up the chair and slams Cathy's stomach into the top of the chair*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd! Cathy's been broken in half!
Cathy: Unnh...
Jessie: *sets up the ladder and starts climbing*
Jim Ross: Jessie's gonna get it! She's gonna win the tournament!
Cathy: *kicks the ladder down*
Jessie: Aaah! *hits the canvas hard*
Cathy: Yes! *sets up the ladder and starts climbing*
Jessie: *gets up and pulls Cathy off of the ladder*
Jerry Lawler: Whoohoo!
Jessie: *tosses Cathy into the turnbuckle*
Cathy: *hits the turbuckle* Unnh...
Jessie: Yes! Now I can get the jacket! *starts climbing the ladder*
Jim Ross: Uh-oh! This could be it!
Jessie: *continues climbing the ladder*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd! She's at the top!
Cathy: Pugnous Shot!
*The Pugnous Shot appears on Cathy's shoulder.*
Jessie: *reaches for the strait jacket*
Cathy: *fires the Pugnous Shot at Jessie, hitting her in the back*
Jessie: Aaaah! *falls off the ladder and hits the canvas*
Cathy: Yes! *crawls over to the ladder and starts climbing*
Jim Ross: Now Cathy's gonna do it!
Cathy: *reaches the top* Finally... *grabs for the jacket*
Jessie: No! *stands up and kicks over the ladder*
Cathy: Aaaah! *falls from the ladder and flies all the way through the announce table*
Jim Ross: Oh mah gawd!
Jessie: Victory! *sets up the ladder* Yes! *starts climbing*
Cathy: *is unconscious*
Jim Ross: That's it! Jessie's gonna win the Roomie Tournament!
Jessie: *reaches the top and grabs the strait jacket* I win!
Cathy: *starts to wake up* Wha?
Jessie: *starts to pull it down from its hook*
Vegeta: *fires a huge blast at the ladder, completely disintegrating it* Oh, Jessie!
Jessie: *hanging from the hook that the Golden Strait Jacket is on* Vegeta!
Vegeta: This is for beating me in that match on Smackdown! *flies up to Jessie and kicks her*
*Jessie lets go of the strait jacket and flies into the crowd, up several rows of seats.*
Vegeta: *grabs the jacket and tosses it to Cathy* Put it on. You've earned it. *leaves*
Tetsuo: *runs in* Okay, gotta make Jessie lose!
Vegeta: You're too late. I already did it.
Tetsuo: What? Grrr... stupid monkey! *uses Body Explosion on Vegeta*
Vegeta: *blows up into bloody chunks*
Tetsuo: Hmph. Stupid monkey. *leaves*
Cathy: Unnh... *too weak to put on the jacket*
Jim Ross: Well, this championship has just been handed to Cathy, but she's still too exhausted to take advantage!
Jessie: *wakes up* That... really hurt... Vegeta...
Cathy: Unnh... *rolls over and passes out again*
Jim Ross: That jacket is still up for grabs!
Jessie: *limps down the seats and jumps over the ring guard* Unnh... *limps toward the announce table*
Cathy: *wakes up* Wha? *sees the strait jacket* The Golden Strait Jacket!
Jessie: No, you don't!
*Jessie grabs the jacket. Cathy tugs on it. A tug-of-war ensues.*
Jessie: Give it to me! *tugs*
Cathy: It's mine! *tugs*
Jim Ross: Mah gawd, what's gonna happen?
Jessie: *fires psychic eye lasers at Cathy's eyes*
Cathy: *holds eyes* Aaah! My eyes!
Jessie: Yes! I got it! *holds up the jacket* I win!
*Jessie puts on the Golden Strait Jacket.
Cathy: Nooooo!
Jim Ross: That's it! Mah gawd! Jessie's the 5th Roomie Tournament champion! Ah don't believe it!
Jessie: Yessss!!!
*A few minutes later...*
Ry: Congratulations, Jessie! You're the Roomie Tournament Champion! *hands Jessie a check for $1,000,000* Here you go!
Jessie: All right!
Ry: *hands Jessie the Dragonballs* Make any wish you want!
Jim Ross: Well, that's it! This has definately been a wonderful tournament!
Jerry Lawler: Whoohoo! Jessie won! Man, JR, she is one hot woman! Whoohoo!
Jim Ross: For Jerry Lawler and everyone else here at the PFFA Tournament, I'm Good Ol' JR, saying good fight, good night!
*The PFFA Tournament logo appears. Fade to black.*
FIN
