The Storm, Picturesque || Ch.II (2024)

Does any reader, whom has a consistency with my work, have any recollections of my second paragraph statement from our previous week? Yes, no? Well, before any of the sheep out there is what they wish to call their own “reality”, get in an uproar over thy use of the copy and paste effect on the inaugural of this weeks blog… I must appoint you all to my blog from yesterweek, it shall explain all (and then some) for ye’. I can only ponder on how long this introduction can linger as the official before, A) Dying off alike intellectuality all illogical baboons get after reading my blogs. Or, B) catching on. Tis indeed a somewhat tedious question, but most are (whomever stated that questions were the key to unlocking the intellectuality of mankind, is but a pretentious fool in himself).

As of this current laps in time, I am before ye’ all, an ever-so ecstatic human being. For just a few days ago, I myself made my official return to CGS, rejoining my lovely and loving Brotherhood once more. But such in itself, is not the root cause of my being content, oh no no no. You see children, as I did remerge within the threshold of CGS, I was greeted by bandwagon riding, trend hoping, pretentious and irreconcilable newcomers whom hold themselves within high regards, in the most unjust of manners. Attempting to capitalize off of Phil Brookes mass success with the use of turning Straight-Edgeism into a professional wrestling gimmick of sorts; these childish “adversaries” (if one can call them such) turned to be thy first match up. A fool whom wrestles be the name of Derek Levy, would appear to be the leader of his own little group (in which he calls the “Straight-Edge Army”… Catchy, right?) which has “apparently” decided to wage war with CGS in general. But more important and specifically, with myself and the Brotherhood. A grave mistake on the part of these morons, I do in fact realize. It would seem CGS owner Jimmy DeMarco hath been in need as of late. Over and over, time and time again, Derek Levy (The sXe’s ring leader) had been gathering his friends round’, dressing up, and pretending to beat one another senseless in a vain attempt to make it seem like Levy was able to physically assault and harm another being of any form; and this must have been pushing DeMarco’s buttons to an extent, as Levy was pretending to “beat up“ DeMarco himself. When one ponders on the situation long enough, they can come to the same basal understanding and comprehending. Most would be quite insulted if a nardowell of horridly low intellectuality tried to insult (no matter the level of failure it had produced) them. So DeMarco, being of some intellectuality himself, presented the contest of Derek Levy versus myself, Kyle Deathlocke, on thy return to CGS. Wanting nothing more then someone to insinuate the taste of shameful, aching discomfort, in his (far to monotonous) mouth; I was brought forth to do so. The task, job, mission, quest, assignment… Whatever you wish to call it, was indeed a success, as I emerged as the (obvious) victor of the match up. Oh by the way, Jay Brooks was in the match, but no one gives a sh*t bout’ that.

As it would seem though, we here in CGS are apparently at war with the Straight-Edge Army, regardless to the very fact that this little arm of Levy’s has failed to even lift off from the ground, let alone having marched into the heat of battle with the cold of sweat. I am still pondering how one Derek Levy expects this to be a war as his claim to fame remains within stealing the heel-esque CM Punk motives, and persona and… Well, CGS as a whole is NOT a drug infested residence. So to proclaim a war with CGS, makes sense to a degree of zero percent. Even so, if his wittle’ war was to be so, would it not be over as of now? I mean, he may have only (idiotically) declared such less than a week prior but, he was defeated in the ring, via my hands, so wouldn’t that mean that I have won the war for myself? *sigh* I suppose it matters not, as its not even a plausible retrospective of things, this war.

Though, if I may address it once more, the little kiddie skits Levy has been putting on with his buddies is quite an insult to us all. Never before have I been this ashamed to actually somewhat know a man since…. Well, since Leon Caprice and all his Batman-esque fan-fic movies. Oh! Speaking of such a “man(?)”, never in ten-folds of a thousand mythological years will you make a proper assumption as to whom has returned to CGS. Leon Caprice it is. Glorious day of many splendours, is it not? Our favourite once idiotically religious junkie, turned Dark Knight-esque Joker rip-off, hath returned! Why bother even drudging up this insolent little pest you may ask? Well, I, the celebrated splendour of many crowns in wrestling, Kyle Deathlocke, am going to be set into a clashing campaign like confrontation/match-up with one Leon Caprice, at thee next Fusion event. Oh joyous occasion! Oh joyous occasion! Agreed? Agreed!

Thus far, I must admit that I am quite thoroughly enjoying wrestling in this promotion (something I could not seem to do within that land of hacks, known as DXX [aside from Storme that is]). First I get to over through the leader of trendy gimmick stealing in Levy, and now I get to overturn a man, whom I have overturned in the past, in Leon Caprice. Though I did adore, and found grander delight in the Dark Knights Joker character, it would seem you hath taken the position of the Joker Caprice, so I must assume thee positioning of Batman himself in this complex tale of what I can only assume to be drug abuse, that is your revelation of reality. Do I know how you got these scars you may ask? Well thee answer is yes, yes Leon I do know how you obtained said scars… You painted them on with the makeup found backstage. That or you are even more moronic then I thought, and did my job for me. So don’t even try to blame your state on your innocent father (innocent is a term I am throwing onto your father ever so lightly, for all I know he could be as big a f*ckin’ geek as you).

Some may ponder and find themselves unable to comprehend how I ended up being sealed in a match with Mista CapN`Rice. Such deliberating and contemplating , are indeed acceptable and entirely viable. The facts remain that Mista CapN’rice and I wrestle amongst two entirely separate grounds. “I” am simply miles far and beyond his level of wrestling ability (don’t even get me started on the gapping hole between our levels of intellectuality). Its zero (logical) sense as to why and how we were paired up in a contest, so allow me to shed some light on the situation, alike the sun of Re shedding light upon the damned an unforeseen that of which had been cast within the shadows for century upon century. You see children, the match its self is my fault, for I had requested such a contest to be held. I “would” extend my grandest apologies for making you all suffer a form of Caprice-esque lameness, but after the way you f*ckin’ immature brats have treated me (with your unneeded, and unprovoked boos and jeers) I could care less about such, if anything you inferior anthropological begins deserve as much; show you ingrates to jeer my splendour.

Now I am assuming more then less of you are pondering the same exact thing. “But Deathlocke (oh great saviour from the divine above) Leon is a former CGS World Heavyweight Champion, and you aren’t”, though odds are, CapN’Rice himself is most likely thinking such stupidity as to that of you “fans”. Regardless of which of the two illogical are asking and pondering, allow me to answer: *virtual ahem* It matters not! That is all. You see, though CapN’rice was indeed a former World Heavyweight champion here, it matters not if you look further into the facts. Leon LOST the world title belt to my good friend, and partner, Steve Storme, and his reign was anything but glorious, if I am correct, it lasted less than a week (though, I may be mistaken on this, but such is unlikely). As well, I have already defeated CapN’rice… In my f*cking debut in this promotion a few months back: Theory of the Fallen, aka, me and Storme, putting our tag team titles on the line against HavOc, aka, Caprice and Massimy (oh and fun fact for you FMW boys whom have arrived within CGS: Caprice STOLE the tag team name, and much more, from FMW *tsk tsk tsk*). So, to those delusional few, whom for some unbeknownst reason, worry about such being a factor… It is be know means a factor.

Oh Leon, how you hath been missed here in CGS, and it matters not that I myself am only returning to the promotion, for I could feel it within the oh-so vibrant air. The precise moment that I sauntered into the inception, a formidable sense overcame me. That very sense felt oh so esque of Caprice. It was esque of Caprice, may you be the joker, or a blind religious folk, whichever Caprice you were or are planning to act as, was wanted! But on a more serious not, I must ask ye’ Leon. Do the doctors themselves no what’s wrong with you? Perhaps a physiatrist of sorts? I mean, to go from praising whatever form of Raptor Jesus it is you foolishly pray before, to playing dress up with other thiry year old men, and making Batman fan-fics, actually believing that you killed someone… Well Leoy (As your bestest friend Massimy might have said at one time or another), it just aint’ normal, by any standards of the term. While that fool (whom I hope I shut up last week) Derek Levy rants of wellness policies (which by the way Levy, I pass every time), I think a test of mental wellness needs to be placed upon Caprice, though it may sound alike an insult as weak as the sands of Egypt were a burden to the parched, tis the truth. It worries me sometimes. It worries me when I walk into the ring with him… I mean… Like f*cking hell I am going to get ambushed and placed within one of his pathetic Dark Knight fan movies.

And speaking of such! Within the grasp of my free palm, at this very moment is a tape (VHS, yep, I still own one bitches) of something filmed at the date of Friday, July tenth, two thousand nine. And boy oh boy, is it a keeper. For this is, quite honestly, my personal favourite Caprice, Batman video. I mean *tries to stop laughing* when you walk into the bank, and are just all like “This… This is a stick up!” I burst into tears of sheer, pure laughter. I cannot find myself able to contain it sometimes. The mass hilarity it produces (which is by the masses) is far to much. The gods themselves look down and create earthquakes via their belly laughs (Yep, I just insinuated that there were gods… And now there isn’t, funny how that works eh?). Its just the way you enter, so serene, and tranquil. Then, out of the blue, you nervously remove a gun from your pants and (perhaps even more apprehensively) stutter, “claiming” that it’s a stick up. Oh by the way, how is your stutter Leon? “I” think it’s the one thing that held you back from being the next Joker.

But as this pleasurable little work of “art” progresses onwards, things instigate, as an older man arrives on the scene, and… By-God, err…By-Science, he himself has a gun (What a twist!) and a stare down of proportions so colossal that Osiris himself would amble in fear, commences. Leon stutters onward, as this newcomer calmly tells him to (basically and blatantly) get the f*ck out [GTFO!]. Some irrelevant and pointless dialogue occurs at this point, and ends with Leon murmuring something of his own penis being of a larger quantity, fallowed by the Jok… By Caprice’s, signature “Ahhhh HA haaa HAHAHA aaahaahhhh ah ah haaa HAHA”, but that in all honesty, just freaked me out to grand extents. As to why he was comparing his co*ck to that of an old man, is beyond me. But the video in its entirety persists as such. All in all, I would give it a four out of ten. Sorry Caprice, but the acting was horrid, the effects were bad, the scene was far to fake and the dialogue… Well the dialogue just made no sense. Oh how I pray to the (non-existent) Gods that you hath learned how to construct proper sentence, no matter its level of skill.

Leon’s “grand and glorious” return to CGS is not all that has happened though. Oh no no no no no. See, when Leon last fled the promotion for the simple reasoning of being unable to obtain a win (and the blame is partially my fault, and I am willing to take responsibility for it), he had gone over to FMW, the very place were he found and “borrowed” much of the things he brought to CGS. And now that Leon is back, he constructed the thought patterns of perhaps drudging some of his FMW buddies along to attempt and overthrow CGS. The team itself goes by the name of Full Metal Bolton, or Full Metal Battleon (you no, like that online RPG game). I don’t know the exact name, I just know that they stole the first two words from the manga turned anime series Full Metal Alchemist. The group itself comes off as anything but a viable threat if I may be blunt with you moronic children. Its over-infatuated with ex-CGS hacks whom couldn’t seem to cut the slack (that’s a saying, right?) last time round’, and a bunch of self loving, pretentious, nobodies from Full Metal Alchem… Err, Wrestling. The only thing I truly know of this group is that they are going to ruin Protest the Hero. Not only did these basal minded, dither, baboons use a Protest the Hero song, they picked the single (but of course, lets use the most famous one, as we know not of any other) from Fortress, Bloodmeat.. And Bloodmeat is a song that is HORRID to use as a theme song. I don’t know about any real fans of music (or humans with basic logic) but the polyrhythm’s occurring at the introduction of the song, make it impossible to work as an entrance…. I can just imagine these morons trying to keep up. They will looks as ridiculous as when Caprice wrestles, HaHa… Oh wait. In all blatant honesty, I feel that they only, idiotically, chose the song for its ending lyrical passages of “and we will crush them all like vermin”. Whilst such does withhold some ferocity and fear stricken terror within words (Thank you Arif!), its still weak compared to other material on said [f*cking] album. As an example, in the song Bone Marrow, the ending lyrically passage is “If a mortal stands before us, strike him down with slight of hand, and if heaven rides against us, then God himself must be damned”. Now I don’t know about any of you, but we logical folk can quite honestly tell which one fit’s the purpose better. And even son, the science-damn song Bone Marrow fits better as a theme song, as to Bloodmeat. But alas, tis I and Storme’s theme song. Hmm, perhaps in choosing Bloodmeat you wished to begin trying to insult Storme an I? If such is the case… Well, you falter and fail. If not, well then you morons are simply more illogical then I first perceived, and trust me, I didn’t give high standards at first sight.

Their logicality is quite ignominious, if I may be blunt with you, which I shall, for you have no way of stopping me, it is after all my f*cking blog (though these bitches are coming by the numbers nowadays *sigh* just so long as people alike Levy and Caprice reframe from obtaining one, I shall be fine, I suppose). I am unaware if this notion has been brought forth at said interval in time and moment, but regardless of such, I shall present it as so; Does any other find it peculiar that all of these cookie-cutter stables and groups are now coming forth to the helm of the oh so splendour Brotherhood? Not one, but now “two” revolutions (or so they mistakenly claim it to be) are attempting to oppose and overthrow our sovereign (which by the way, is not myth, it has occurred, just look at the fact that we hold every belt within the promotion). I can’t help but admit a giggle or two, even if they are only as slight as the winters bite is gruesome; I mean, here we stand, atop Mt.CGS, with all in the palm of our hands, and suddenly, appearing from what one could only assume to be a mirage covered mist, comes two opposing groups, with separate agendas, but one common goal: Dethrone us. Its been a while (a little far passed a month to be precise) since I have sat on the most glorious throne, with all eyes set on me, locked, and trigger happy, simply awaiting the bloodshed that comes with the blasphemous cleansing within the attempts to overthrow. sad*stic as one my presume this to be, but I quite thoroughly enjoy this. The primary reason remaining within the blatant and obvious, I cannot be defeated. In this sense I resemble Kyle Evers and Steve Storme, whom just so happen to also reside within the Brotherhood, and whilst I am no mathematician, I feel that its very simple calculations to go into the otherwise complex process of determining a result. Unbeatable + Un-defeatable + Unstoppable concludes with the final result of, simply put, the best (basal sounding, I do in fact realise).

Now before we truly do divulge into this weeks coming match up, or anything of real relevance, I would like to just drudge up the little old week we within the Brotherhood had here in CGS. Whilst I haven’t heard at all from Cameron Hayden or Jakob Azazel since returning “home” (if you will), Evers and Storme are two completely separate stories. Last week was, by all means, a perfect week for us. I successfully made my return to CGS, “WTFpwning” [Credit to Evers for such word] Jay Brooks and Derek Levy. And at the same time, Steve Storme was able to get his hands on a little up-and-comer whom goes by the name of Aaron Wolf (relation to that FMW bozo Alistair Wolfe? None… I hope), and Mister Wolf was actually the man whom made it to the finals of the Courage Cup, to face and lose to Evers (Duh.) and surprisingly did better then many would have perceived this new-guy to have done. I myself was a bit surprised, never to the point of fear that Evers would lose, but surprised all the same. I was not taken by surprise however, when Storme defeated Aaron with a blindfold, and two hands tied behind his mother f*cking back (I exaggerate, but of course). This children, whom are horrid with mathematics, marks the Brotherhood as two victories and zero loses said week. This victory (as I may have said) was to be expected, I mean this is Steve Storme, the former CGS World Heavyweight Champion, whom only lost his belt to his team mate Kyle Evers in a match where Storme didn’t even lose. He is the guy whom holds the longest winning streak in CGS history, alike I did in DXX. He has held almost, if not, every belt in this freakin’ company, and is one of the only two Hall of Fame members, so for those who were shocked by his easy victory over Wolf… Shut the f*ck up! Sure, Wolf could SOMEDAY, MAYBE become a big star, perhaps even a viable threat to one of us in the Brotherhood, but said day is far from now, as he is yet to beat one of us, which makes me egger for my match against Wolf, I mean, Evers and Storme have already beaten, let me eradicate him as well.

Moving on to one, God King, in Kyle Evers; his week was just as equally good, as he faced off against…. Uhh, umm… Err.. - p o n d e r s - Well, truth be told, I am unaware of whom Evers “exactly” faced last week. The name of this nobody escapes me at this very moment, but I do know that it twas whomever Storme had faced in the last round of the Bloodshed Cup. So it was, but of course, some talent lacking, no-wrestle skilled, hill billy whom would rather beat himself with barbed wire then wrestle. The match itself was about as notable as this mans unknown name. It was all one sided for the entire, perhaps, nine seconds that it lasted, ending briefly and abruptly when Evers hit the Hollywoodemia (Hurrah for LoveHateHero). Few can last long within a ring with Evers, so the outcome was nothing more than expected. And now children whom are still horridly stupid and cannot do basic mathematics, this would mark the Brotherhood as three victories and zero loses said week. Said week of course being last week. Twas indeed a good week.

I am more then confident in knowing that many of you are pondering on why it is I wished to bring up our awesomeness. And aside from… Well wanting to (what do you plan on doing about said actions?) it was to hype what I feel shall be the, if not at least a nominee for, Match of the Year. As most of you irrational bastards must have retained by this point, Evers and Storme were the winners of the Courage and Bloodshed Cup, thus granting them their respective minor titles, but more importantly, opening the dream gate to a wondrous adventure of true backbreaking showmanship. Being the victors of the Cup, Storme and Evers will now be facing off one on one for the prestigious (now that its out of the hands of someone alike that joke [ha! What a pun] Caprice) World Heavyweight championship belt, in which Evers currently does hold. Finally a main event of proportions so extravagant that I myself can be left in awe (rare, f*ckin’, moment). I can only idly sit back and enjoy said match, as I await my chance… What’s that? Why yes children, yes we are all team members, but you see now kiddies, we are a group of maturity in both personal and intellectual mannerisms. Whilst we are all friends and partners, we do in fact realize that if one of us hold the glorious crown, the others may come after it, and truth be told, better another member then some hack-job that bafoons with intellectuality that reaches f*cking zero could cheer for (I shall assume you didn’t comprehend something as basic as that, and this is why you cheer Caprice).

On said notion, last week in the show opener, a battle royal had occurred, in which the last two remaining would proclaim victory and team with one another to face the Tag Team Heavyweight Champions *cough* me *cough*. The winners of said match were one DXX-migrant, Ryan Black, and Straight-Edge Army dumbass, Hector something-or-another-with-a-Z-that-sounds-quite-Mexican-which-makes-me-think-he-is-Mexican, and in that case should be shipped back, dirty Mexicans. Woops! Was that a hint of racism that was pushing everybody’s buttons? Tis indeed sad, tis indeed sad when something as vain, blinding and meaningless as racism can trigger a negative emotion within someone, I mean really Hector, morons whom are attempting to contemplate my words… I thought we as a society had grown and evolved past being such sensitive twats. Its funny, because I am presuming you all are becoming as angered as when I called Jay Brooks a nigg*r last week. Haha. Regardless, lets not drift astray from said topic at hand this very moment. As I was saying, Hector and Black when said contest, thus earning the right to compete for our (our being the Brotherhood’s) Tag Team titles. But Ryan, being of some intellectuality at least, turnned down the negativity that would come with even teaming with Hector and the rest of the Trend hoping twats, and allowed Hector to pick his tag team partner. S-H-A-Z-A-M, surprise surprise, Hector chose that ever-so unreliable and impudent retard himself, captain trendy kid, Derek Levy. I can only presume that Hector was to busy [insert typical, unfunny, generic, boring hom*osexual joke used by people alike Levy, Caprice ect. Here.]ing to actually get a glimpse of Levy’s match, in which he (oh yes, I have said it a few times) was defeated via me. That would set up this coming weeks match up, Kyle Deathlocke and Steve Storme versus Derek Levy and Hector the Mexictor (Ha? Uhh, yeah, shut the f*ck up, I know that that’s a bad joke, but I bet that your laughing now) correct? Incorrect, which is typical. Already having defeated Levy, whom Is by far the best this “group” has, I wanted something new, and because our Tag Titles are lucky enough to live with the Freebird Rule (Gotta’ love it) I decided to allow Evers to replace me, not as if the outcome was, or has changed by any means. Now in search of an opponent of my own, I pondered on whom I could take on in a wrestling contest. My first though immediately landed upon one Aaron Wolf, as I still crave my turn to “crush him like vermin” (I paraphrase of course). However, at the last blinking moment, who else was to emerge but *drum roll* L e o n C a p r i c e ! Hurrah. Being that wannabe arrogant jerk that he attempts (and fails) to be, Caprice barged into the backstage area of CGS, and made a proclamation, with none of his FMW buddies around. This proclamation (or decree if you will) was that none of us could talk about his previous character acting here in CGS, for it was the past and now is now, and we all HAD to abide to this law. I am but assuming you all can make the proper assumption as to what I then did next. Yep, you are correct (wtf?! that’s f*ckin‘ new) I went to he office of one Jimmy DeMarco and exclaimed that I wished to face CapN’rice. Pondering on whom CapN’rice was, he was reluctant, but after I informed him of such, he allowed said match to be made. After all, he owes me for eradicating that pestering bug Levy (see earlier blog entry).

And this children is where we are left at this very moment in the complex keeping of time in this universe, or what we all perceive to be the basic notion of time in itself. I just thought that you may all enjoy hearing the riveting tale of how the Messiah himself ending up facing a former idiotic religious-men turned Batman character rip-off. At this time, I can only promising to truly tear into this all at a latter time, and trust me, it is indeed a must watcher, or reader, all differing on my mood at said time, for Levy has no say if I blog it up, or go to the ring like a generic cookie cutter wrestler, as I just kicked his ass, as to be as expected as Evers and Stormes victories, as well as future Brotherhood victories.

So to the impudent insolence that is wrestlers alike Leon Caprice, Derek Levy, Alistair Wolfe, Hector Z[insert fake word here] etcetera, all I can plead to you with is, come forth, and falter, alike all whom have come before you. Last week I obliterated the leader of the Straight-Edge Army, and this coming week I get to do likewise to my favourite member of Full Metal. Oh fun, oh fun just like looking at dumbfounded animals traped within a zoo. Speaking of, if I may just say so, when looking at Caprice all I can think to say is… Welcome to the end of the thought process. Though Leon himself may say…